Owen

Radio Static

Sleep never came for me that night.

It was like Jase had unlocked all these memories I had suppressed. And I just stared at the ceiling in the pitch black letting my mind replay them all.

They weren't all happy.

Jase must have told dad what had happened because when he poked his head into my room the next morning and I asked him if I could stay home he didn't hesitate to say yes.

I had finally fallen asleep around seven, exhaustion won at last. But I woke some time in the early afternoon to my phone vibrating like crazy on my bedside table. The sun was shining through the cracks in my curtains. It was far too cheerful for how I felt.

Rubbing my eyes, I rolled myself to my stomach and reached for my phone, propped up on my elbows.

Alec: where are you?

Alec: Owen?

Alec: I'm guessing you're a no show

Alec: you're okay right?

Alec: I heard about Sydney

Alec: Owen?

Alec: can you just send a letter or something?

Alec: you're alive right?

Alec: anything?

I went to the next thread that was lit up with unread messages.

Max: I didn't see you but I got a little something for you if come to the drama room

And then the next one.

Mina: Are you okay?

I stared at her name and the question. Reading it and rereading it. She confused me. There were times, like this, where if she actually hated me, I couldn't figure out why she'd take the time to ask. I checked the time stamp, it was sent around 8 am. She had noticed I wasn't in school.

Maybe it was stupid but I started typing out a response, a simple 'yeah I'm fine' when my phone buzzed and a line of text popped up in her thread.

Mina: I'm worried

My heart started pounding in my chest. Was she worried about me because she cared about me? Or was she worried solely based on a patient therapist basis. I deleted what I had typed and wrote something new.

Me: don't worry

Her response came instantly.

Mina: thank god, Alec has been freaking out today, will you text him back?

I felt a little deflated as I read her response.

Me: yeah

Mina: are you busy Saturday?

Was I seeing things? I blinked a couple times, thinking maybe my eyes were still covered with sleep but when I opened them and refocused on my phone her words hadn't changed.

Me: no

Mina: good I'll pick you up at 4.

I thought about saying 'it's a date' but I knew Mina would roll her eyes and the conversation would end sooner. So I behaved myself.

Me: where are we going?

Mina: patience Owen

I was smiling.

Me: come on, I've had a shitty week give me a hint

Mina: you're obnoxious

Me: pretty please

It was sad but I wished she'd text me more, talk to me more. I missed smiling, I missed the thundering of my heart in my chest as I waited for each of her responses.

Mina: text Alec

I was getting on her nerves.

Me: pretty pretty pretty please

Radio static.

But I couldn't stop smiling. And for the first time in a while I was looking forward to something. I knew she wasn't going to text back but I reread our conversation, this bubble
of excitement rising through me.

After several minutes I went back to Alec's thread and sent him an emoji of a dead face. He might not find it funny but I did. But as I backed out, a list of all the names I'd texted recently there was one I hadn't seen in months. And whatever good mood I was in plummeted.

Drew: I set Sydney straight

The thought of Sydney and that word made me sick to my stomach.

Me: fuck you

As soon as I hit send I regretted it. "Shit."

I didn't want to open the door for a conversation. I didn't have anything to say. And I didn't care what he had to say. But I was impulsive and responded without thinking and low and behold those three stupid dots popped up.

"Fuck." I mumbled to myself as I waited for him to finish typing.

Drew: I'm sorry

Sorry didn't cut it.

Me: fuck you

Drew: if it makes you feel better Jae won't talk to me

It didn't make me feel better.

Me: fuck you

Drew: come on Owen, please

Me: fuck you

Drew: I should have told you

Hah! More like he shouldn't have done it.

Me: fuck you

Drew: will you say something other than fuck you

Yeah I could say something else. But I opted for nothing.

Instead I started the difficult process of getting myself up and out of bed. My stomach growled, a rare thing. I couldn't remember the last time I had ate something. Sometime middle of the day yesterday at least.

It was a slow process as I ran through a few stretches, hoping to start the day off as good as possible. By the time I was reaching for my chair, twenty minutes had passed and I'd only had one round of spasms. I buckled the seat belt across my lap and wrestled on the hoodie I had worn yesterday.

When I emerged into the kitchen some time later, Nan was cleaning the fronts of the cabinets.

"Morning." I mumbled.

She turned her head to look at me, a smile spreading on her face.

"There you are. Did you finally get some sleep?" She asked.

I nodded, ignoring my phone vibrating in my pocket.

"Can you make me something to eat please Nan? I asked. "I'm starving."

"Of course!" She sounded too excited about cooking as she set down the can of cleaner and rag she was using and washed her hands. "What do you want Love?"

"Whatever's easiest." I didn't care, knowing me I'd take two bites and then lose my appetite.

"How's breakfast sound?"

"Great, thanks."

I watched her a pull a few things out of the fridge, glancing back at me as she sat them down. Maybe I looked like shit or maybe it was just that grandma's intuition thing but she walked over  and wrapped around her arms me.

The side of my face was pressed into her stomach by one of her hands as she ran her fingers through my hair with the other.

"This too shall pass."

                                ————————

I went into town! So surprise! Update.