Owen

Piece of Cake

2 Months Later

"Alright sweet love, all dressed, up we go."

Nan wrapped her fingers around my right arm as I used my left arm to shove myself upright. It was getting easier, I was getting stronger. It took forever but I didn't actually need help to sit up anymore. Nan, though, always insisted on helping and I knew better than to argue with her.

"Let's get you in your chair." She scooted my wheelchair as close to the bed as she could.

Transferring was also something I'd started in therapy. Considering I still had little to no feeling in my lower half and could only count on my left arm and hand to have its shit together all the time, I wasn't that bad at transferring. My right arm was definitely still a work in progress, fatiguing fast and weak as shit, but I could bend my fingers and raise my arm.

She helped me scoot to the edge of the bed. A painfully slow, awkward process that always left me near breathless. Nan picked up my legs, the lifeless things that they were dangling over the edge of the bed. I reached for the far side of the seat, Nan tucking her arms underneath mine and together we shifted my useless body into the wheelchair.

"Ah there we go." Nan commented, lifting one of my feet onto the foot rest. "We are getting rather good at this."

I gave her a half hearted laugh through my nose. "Yeah, piece of cake."

I watched her close her fingers around my right knee. I couldn't feel it but I saw her squeeze her hand.

"Pop will be here in a couple hours to help us to therapy."

Even though I knew my mundane schedule she still gave me the rundown everyday.

"Okay."

"I'll go start breakfast." She wrapped her hand around the back of my head, pulling me closer as she planted a kiss in my hair.

I watched her leave my room, sitting there for a moment. Staring at the walls, trying to numb myself so I could get through the day. Most mornings, for the first few seconds when I'm conscious, I forget. I forget how fucked up I am. I forget about everything I lost. I forget how stupid I was. But as the seconds pass, the memories come flooding back, the anger, the disappointment, the frustration, intensified by my momentary dreaming.

I let out a sigh, I was never quite as numb as I wanted to be. And it was hard, trying to hide the fact that I was pissed. It would all of a sudden burst out of me at the slightest of things. Jase received the brunt of it but sometimes Nan got it too.

I pulled the brakes on my chair, rolling one wheel back as I spun the chair toward the nightstand to grab my phone. The screen lit up as my skin connected with the glass. I had a text from Jae.

Beautiful: morning bae, Bre canceled on me tonight. Visit?

That was another thing I was sucking at. I wasn't stupid enough to not realize Jaelyn should leave me but she hadn't and I appreciated it. Though I never showed her.

I picked my phone up, typing out my message. It was awkward, holding my phone in my left hand. I was slow as fuck but it was better than Siri.

Me: Yeah, I'll be back around 4. Love you

I tucked my phone under my leg to hold it in place and wheeled myself out into the living room. I spent most of my time there, parked in front of the TV, my mind slowly decaying from staying stagnat all the time.

                             ————————
"Oh my gosh, Drew did the funniest thing today." Jaelyn said, curling into the armrest of the couch.

She had a pair of light wash jeans on, a fuzzy pink sweater hitting just above the waist band, flashing me a view of her midriff. I wondered if I'd ever get a boner again or if my lack of sexual arousal was for good. Eighteen years old and my dick didn't even work anymore.

"What'd he do?" I asked, shoving my thoughts away because they just pissed me off more.

She tossed her long brown hair over her shoulder, it fell in one smooth, silky wave. I used to tangle my hands in her hair, pulling her close to me while we had sex and afterward I'd smooth out the tangles as she laid on my chest, the two of us sweaty and tired. I couldn't remember the last time I touched her hair. Shit, I couldn't even remember the last time we kissed other than a hello or goodbye peck on the lips. I missed her. I missed us. I missed who I was.

"Jae." I hadn't even listened to her story about Drew, lost in my own thoughts.

"Hmm?" She asked, her chin perched in her hand as she brought her eyes to me. "Need something?"

I felt a lump appear in my throat, the frustration and desperation I felt for everything I could have been threatening to come out as a sob.

"I'm sorry Jae." I said instead, somehow my voice sounded stronger than it should have.

"For what?"

I had her full attention, her brown eyes dancing between mine, studying my face. I shook my head, my thoughts a jumbled mess.

"I know..." I started. I wanted to reach for her, pull her close. But it'd been so long since I'd done something like that and I wasn't even sure how to do it anymore.

"Know what?" Her brown eyes widened, a slight catch in her breath. She looked scared, waiting for me to answer. I found it funny, what did she have to be scared about? I was the one that should be scared. Scared she'd leave me if I didn't stop being an ass.

"I know I've been a dick." I told her, my eyes trained on my hands that sat in my lap. "I don't deserve you."

"Owen, baby." Her voice was soft, gentle, the uneasiness it held moments before gone. "Don't say that."

"It's true though. I've been such an asshole. I don't even know why you're still with me." I slammed my eyelids shut, sealing in the tears that were threatening to escape.

I felt Jae's skin against mine as she laced our fingers together. Her other hand pressed against my cheek and I leaned into it. Amazed that she was here. That she hadn't forgotten how to be close to me like I had her. Thankful she still cared.

"Owen, look at me."

I opened my eyes, hoping that the tears pooled in them would stay. My eyes met hers as she crouched in front of me, her thumb rubbing circles against the back of my hand.

"The past couple months have been hard but I wouldn't just leave you." She had her own tears swelling in her eyes. "I love you."

A breath released from my chest that I didn't realize I'd been holding. "I love you too."

My words were desperate, weak, needy but I didn't care. Jaelyn was real. She wasn't going to leave just because things got tough. Just because I got tough.

"I love you so much."

                             —————————

Tragedy struck last night. My dog found a baby bunny nest, killed one before we realized what was going on. I googled what to do with the remaining one and took to social media and everyone said put it back in its nest. So we tucked it back under our porch where the nest was. I went to check on it this morning (thanks Michigan for snowing too by the way, you suck) and baby bunny is gone. I'm so sad. I'm now referring to my dog as the evil bunny eating turd. She's a jerk. But I love her. Which only makes me more conflicted 😭😂.