Owen

Less Than

The news spread like fucking wildfire. It was already taking on a life of its own.

I'd over heard one person ask if Drew had actually punched me, the commented that followed something about how they'd never be able to hit a cripple.

I'd almost lost my stomach.

Drew and I hadn't even looked at each other when I rolled into fourth hour. But I was actuely aware of every move he made.

I hid out in the drama room with Max and a couple of his friends at lunch. They all just stared at me, sharing glances as I smoked the pity joint Max had offered me when I rolled in. He'd only heard about the fiasco and had been decent enough to realize I definitely didn't want to talk about it.

The joint hadn't done anything to help. For once I wasn't in physical pain. I still didn't mind the slight high I got from it.

Jaelyn had come up to me when I was rolling down the hallway after lunch. The slightest smirk on my face because I was high and finding my life fucking hilarious at the moment. It was bullshit.

"Owen, please give me just a second." She pleaded.

I didn't stop as she fell in beside me but also didn't say anything.

"I love you Owen, I do. Drew didn't mean anything I swear." She said.

"Did you fucking tell him that?" I asked.

It was amazing how quickly someone could ruin a good high. As if she hadn't ruined enough for me already.

I'd been ignorant. I had told myself that the times I caught Drew watching Jaelyn it was just because they were tight, we all were. Now I saw it. I saw it when he panicked and looked at Jaelyn thinking he had outright let it slip one day. And I had seen it when he had his arms around Jaelyn and Bre, his attention all Jae's. And I'd even seen it countless other times over the past couple months. It'd been right there in front of me.

"Please Owen." She begged.

I shook my head, I couldn't even be angry anymore. Sometime during smoking the joint that had even drifted away and now all I was left with was this dull ache from the knife still lodged in my bleeding heart.

"It doesn't matter anyway Jaelyn." I said. "Even if I wanted to forgive you, there isn't anything between us anymore."

"There can be though Owen." I stopped pushing myself.

I looked up at her, her make up some how still flawless even though her eyes were red from crying. Her brown hair cascading down her shoulders in one prefect wave, her perfectly put together outfit. Her eyes danced between mine, full of heartbreak and regret. She was good. She was real fucking good.

"No there can't Jaelyn." I said firmer.

My intention wasn't to rip her heart out. Not like she'd done mine. I'd thought about it, I'd thought about all the terrible things I could say, all the things I could call her. But it didn't matter, saying it wouldn't bring either of us anything. But I also didn't want her to think there was ever a possibility for us to come back from this. So I said the only thing I could.

"I won't ever love you again."

                                 ———————

Somehow I'd made it to the end of the day. I was fucking tired. The tension in my sixth hour nearly slapped me in the face as I rolled in. Sydney's voice bouncing off the walls.

"I heard you're the reason Owen broke up with Jaelyn."

I watched Mina glare at Chelsea, her green eyes fierce. She shook her head, clearly pissed. I knew Mina well enough to know that she avoided conflicts at school, she basically avoided everyone and everything at school. But I wasn't about to let Sydney be a bitch to her over something that had nothing to do with her. So I shoved myself forward, bringing myself into the equation. It wasn't like my day could get any fucking worse right?

"What did you just say?" I asked.

Sydney had a smile on her face, not the kind that was actually a smile though. It was that sick and twisted type of smile. She was taking pleasure in someone else's discomfort.

"I was just asking if it was true, did you really break up with Jaelyn.." She glanced at Mina with a grimace,  "for her?"

If I could have I definitely would have punched her. Who gives a shit if she was a girl. She deserved it. And not just for this, for every other time she'd been down right mean for no reason.

I straightened my back, giving her a cool look. All Sydney's ever wanted was to mesh into our group. The easiest way for her to do that was to date one of us but Alec and I always had girlfriends and Drew somehow had never even tried to sleep with her. Which was funny if you thought about because he literally had slept with everyone else, including my girlfriend. I may not have a girlfriend anymore but I still had what Sydney wanted.

"And what if I did? You'd just be jealous it wasn't you." I told her.

She rolled her eyes at me, scoffing like I was ridiculous. "Please. I'd never date a cripple."

My stomach dropped just about as fast as my head did. That was the second time today that word had been attached to me by someone else. It was one thing to call myself it, another for everyone else to. It was a swift kick to the gut, completely effective and she knew it. I smashed my teeth together, biting back the bitterness and hurt that wanted to spill out of me.

I should have saw it coming. It was Sydney after all. This was what she did.

But I hadn't.

She finally said out loud what everyone was thinking, whispering behind my back. I was crippled.

I was less than.

I ground my teeth together so hard I'm surprised they weren't being pulverized into dust. And then I rolled myself to my desk, everyone staring at me, waiting for me strike back. But Sydney had just knock all the fight out of me with one word.

I was done.