Painful

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I had made it through an entire week of school, minus the first day when I skipped out after third period. It still wore me out, I wasn't used to all the pushing I had to do to navigate the school. There was still a shit ton of tension between Drew and I, but we'd come to some unspoken agreement that we'd keep up appearances, sort of.

Alec and Jae had forced me to go to lunch. Which was awkward as fuck. There were only two wheelchair accessible tables, one of which wasn't used by anyone in wheelchairs. So Alec, Donny, Pink, and a couple other guys claimed the table. I was grateful I guess, but it was embarrassing. They had drawn the attention of the majority of the lunchroom as they all but forcibly removed the group of scrawny nerds that sat there.

Pink pushed me to the table, something I didn't care for even if my arms did feel like they were going to fall off. It made me feel useless.

"There ya go buddy." He said happily, pleased with his work. "Hey Drew! Shove that table over for overflow."

I wanted to tell them it was no big deal, that I was happy hiding out in the office with Mrs. Peterson during lunch. Besides it wasn't like I was even eating lunch.

"Hey baby." Jaelyn's arms wrapped around me as she placed a kiss on my cheek. "I'm going to go get a salad, what do you want?"

"Nothing I'm fine." I told her, tilting my head up so I could see her.

Her chocolate brown hair spilled over the top of my shoulder and I could smell the cherry chapstick she always used.

"You're not hungry?" She asked.

"Not for food." I mumbled, my eyes dropping to her lips.

Even if my dick didn't work, it didn't mean I still didn't find Jae ridiculously hot. She smiled, about to pull away.

"Hey, kiss me." I told her.

She breathed out a sigh, a smile tugging at her lips. She kissed me but I couldn't help but notice her eyes darting to something across the table as she leaned in. What had caught her attention? Or maybe I should've asked who had caught her attention?

But more importantly what the fuck was going on?

————————

I had made it to therapy and was in desperate need of a nap. Jase and I had fought almost the entire ride over and my mood was sour. That was until Sarah called Mina over and then left us alone for a few minutes.

I wouldn't say that Mina had the ability to affect my mood for the better but once I saw her, a slew of questions formed in my head. And I was gonna ask them, especially because she couldn't up and leave at therapy like I suspected she'd do at school.

"Why didn't you tell me we had a class together?" I asked Mina, watching as she slid a piece of paper and pencil toward me. "I mean not telling me we went to school together is one thing but then you just strolled into Mr. Palmer's class like it wasn't a big deal that we've been sitting two seats away the whole year."

"You talk a lot." She commented flatly.

I ignored her and her eye roll. "Come on tell me."

"You never asked." Her green eyes landed on mine, clear and focused. "Ready?"

I looked down at the pencil on the table, letting out a breath. I felt defeated and I hadn't even picked up the pencil. No one seemed to understand that if I couldn't be me 100% I wasn't sure what the point was. I was 18 and I couldn't even write my damn name.

I could feel Mina's eyes on me, waiting for me to pick up the pencil and try to form some sort of letter with my useless right hand. But I still didn't move.

She let out a sigh, running a hand down the side of her face like she was clearing away her agitation.

"So how about it?" She offered again.

I closed my eyes, I was tired of doing things, of trying. I just wanted to be normal again. I wanted to stand up and walk around, I wanted to run, kick the ball, kiss my girlfriend, fist bump Alec without having to think twice about it. Without having to beg my body to try.

"Yeah." I mumbled, raising my arm to the table.

It took me a solid couple minutes, several drops of the pencil before I finally crushed the tip of the graphite into the paper. Mina sat patiently beside me, her hand holding the paper steady, her eyes focused on my hand. I slowly made my way through the four letters of my name. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mina silently mouthing each letter as I went. When I finally made to the 'n' a smile tugged at her face for just a fraction before it disappeared.

"There. Not so bad, almost legible this time." She told me.

I looked down at my poorly written name, a laugh escaping me. She was right. You couldn't even say it looked like a kindergartener wrote it. I wasn't even entirely sure I'd written Owen.

"Are you...did you...just make fun of me?" I asked, completely shocked at the thought.

She shrugged her shoulders, her face stoic per usual but her green eyes were full of mischief. She tapped the paper.

"Aren't you paid to like be nice?" I asked, as she disappeared out of my sight for a minute.

When she returned to the table and sat she looked over at me, tapping the paper with her fingertip. My signal to keep going.

"No one's paying me to be nice, I'm in intern." She uncapped a bottle of water and took a drink. "Go again."

"How are you an intern? You're still in high school."

She let out a huff, I was agitating her. It made me smile a little.

"Why are you so interested?"

I shrugged. "Why are you so secretive?"

I mean she had to be right? If I went my entire school career not noticing her. There was no way I could have missed her that long if she wasn't purposely trying to stay out of the way.

"Are you four?" Her eyes narrowed, frustration flooding her features.

"What?" I asked even though I already knew what the next thing would be out of her mouth.

"You act like a child."

Knew it!

"It's just a question." I raised an eyebrow at her, a silent attempt at trying to emphasize she was completely overacting.

She took a deep breath, her green eyes squeezed shut, bits and pieces of hair falling from her ponytail that no doubt had been in all day.

"Come on, just tell me." I pushed.

"I've been taking college courses all through high school." She snapped. "Happy?"

I nodded my head, not hiding my pleased smile. "Now was that so hard?"

I felt like I had just won a championship game with a minute left in the game and we had been down by five. I had just achieved the impossible.

She looked up, her eyes cool as she narrowed them at me. "Painful, actually. Now write."

I couldn't stop the smirk that was plastered across my face. Yeah, this was gonna be fun.

               

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