Owen

Never Going Back

I was late to school. Not my fault.

My dad had gotten a call first thing in the morning and what was supposed to be a quick minute on his laptop was more like an hour.

I caught the last twenty minutes of my first period. My arrival disrupted the entire class, all eyes on me as I clumsily made my way to the table on the opposite side of the room. I accidentally hit a kids desk, trying to navigate the narrow aisle ways, muttering out a "sorry " as I finally passed. Needless to say, by the time I got to the desk, I was cursing under my breath, any chance at a good mood for the day gone. Just like that.

When class ended, I just sat there waiting for everyone to filter out.

"Hey." Colby said, sitting on the desk, his book in his lap.

"Hey." I muttered.

He was swinging his legs back and forth, the heel of his shoe grazing my chair. Not enough to make it shake but enough to add to my irritation.

"So did you think about it?" He asked, glancing a sideways look at me.

"Think about what?"

"Coming back to soccer." He slipped off the table, disappearing behind me. "The guys all miss you."

He unlocked my wheels, rolling me backward as he started to navigate his way out of the classroom.

Deep down I think I knew Colby was trying to help. And I had listened to everything Coach had said. I had a great eye and natural talent for the game. I'd be an asset to the team on the sidelines. Helping motivate the guys, work through plays, improve their skills.

But that was the thing. I didn't want to do any of those things. I wanted to play.

"So I can what, Colby?" I snapped. "Sit there and watch you all play, watch you all do what I can't?"

"No! I..."

I slammed my hands down on the wheels, mustering all my weakened strength to clamp my fingers around them. My chair stopped, Colby bumping into the back of me.

"If I can't play, I don't want shit to do with it. Have fun being captain." I spat.

I forced the wheels forward, trying to distance myself from Colby before I said anymore. I had told Coach the exact same thing when he asked me to come back. Maybe a little nicer but the message was the same. I didn't want to watch everyone else play the sport I loved while I sat on the sidelines crippled. I didn't like to watch. I liked to do. And I couldn't fucking do that anymore.

I had made it out into the hallway before I heard Colby calling for me.

"OWEN! Wait!" He jogged into my view as I continued to shove my way down the hallway. "Come on man. Please."

I glanced up at him, his shaggy brown hair falling in his eyes. "I thought about it, still no."

"The guys need you."

"Colby I said no! Damn it!" My voice escalated, drawing the attention of some people walking by.

"Please Owen, I'm drowning. I suck as captain, the guys don't listen to me like they do you. Ryan's awful. The team basically blows without you." He begged.

I ground my teeth together. Setting my gaze straight again. I didn't want to deal with this. I didn't care that Colby couldn't live up to me as captain. I didn't care if the soccer team was drowning. I was fucking drowning.