Owen

Some Fight

I took a hit off the joint that Jase rolled the night before. It was my last one and I was milking it for all I had. Jase's friend was out of town through the weekend which meant unless I got a hold of Kenny, I was out of luck. I was managing pain with rationing weed and taking the anti seizure meds the doctors had prescribed me. I wouldn't say I felt great but it was manageable.

"We need to find a better solution than this." Nan said as I released a cloud of smoke.

"Huh?"

"Every time I walk into this house I have flashbacks of the 70s." She waved her hand through the air dispersing the smoke lingering near her.

"What do you suggest?" I put out the end, saving the last couple hits.

She stacked a couple magazines on the coffee table, brushing crumbs into her hand that were no doubt from Jase.

"I was thinking brownies." She looked at me, eyebrows raised. "I just refuse to have my boys walking out smelling like pot all the time. Did you know I went to the grocery store the other day and ran into Barbara from church. She could smell it on me! I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me."

I laughed, the image clear as day in my mind. Nan getting judged by some fake, not so perfect, church goer.

"It's not funny mister." She scolded but she had her own smile on her face.

I just laughed harder.

It felt good.

"You don't laugh enough Love." The sadness in Nan's voice sobering me up.

"I do." But we both knew I was lying. I never laughed, not anymore.

"Things will get easier with time." She placed her hand on my right thigh. I still couldn't feel it.

She kissed the top of my head and I felt myself lean in to her. There was something to be said about a mother's love, or in my case, a grandmother's love. Nan somehow had the ability to put everything inside me at rest, for the world not to seem so shitty. At least for the few minutes while she ran her hands through my hair, my face pressed against her soft stomach, the smell of laundry detergent and Pop's cigars filling my nose. It was easy to close my eyes and let my mind take me back to when I was younger. When life had been cruel but I still had hope.

———————

Jase and I had fought on the way to therapy, souring my mood. Something was stuck up his ass, he'd been even more annoying than usual when he got to the house.

"You're quiet today." Sarah commented.

I flopped down onto the mat, rolling onto my back as my chest heaved from having to crawl my way up the mats. I didn't say anything.

"Back to the floor."

I let out a sigh, sitting myself up. I looked her square in the face about to say something snarky and rude but it died in my throat. I shifted to the edge of the mat, rolling over onto my stomach and then down onto my knees on the floor.

"All the way to your butt." She reminded.

I did as she said, my left hand connecting with the floor first.

"Now back up to the mats."

So I started the whole process over. Rocking myself back up to my knees, dragging my limp lower body as close to the base of the mats as I could before clawing my way up with my upper body. This time I didn't bother rolling onto my back as I tried to catch my breath. My arms were starting to fatigue and I wasn't really sure I had enough fight in me to go again.

"You're getting strong." Sarah said.

I still didn't say anything, laying there face down on the mat. Was my time up yet? It had to be close.

Sarah sighed when I remained silent.

"Alright, let's move on." She said. "Sit up, we're going to work on your balance.

I was still breathing hard, a layer of sweat making my T-shirt stick to my back. It was one of the rare times I was just in a T-shirt. I'd started in my hoodie but a few short minutes into therapy I sweating like crazy, the room hot and stifling. I wrestled my way out of my hoodie, exposing the fact that I was skinny as fuck to the rest of the people in the room. And then, not only had my doctors yelled at me recently, but now Sarah had too. I was just glad Mina hadn't been here.

It wasn't hard to get myself seated on the edge, I leaned back on my hands as I waited for instructions.

"Sit up nice and straight." She said, pulling a stool up behind herself.

I did, it took more thought than it should have but I straightened myself up.

"Good now you're going to reach across your body and high five my hand. Take your time." She said, her hands raised in front of her. "Focus on your balance."

Raising my right arm, it bobbed in the air, already tired from all the previous exercises. My left was always easier than my right, stronger than my right. Which was a real pain in the ass because I was right handed. It was my first instinct to use my right side, even though it was crippled. I slowly crossed it in front of me, my left side maintaining most of my balance for me as my palm connected with hers.

"Good."

I brought my left arm up and across my body, feeling my weight distributed differently. The muscles on my left side contracted as they tried to compensate for my weak right side but there wasn't a whole lot they could accomplish. My shoulders dipped, giving away the fact that my balance was still shotty especially when my left side couldn't help.

"Easy, You've got it, slow down if you need to." Sarah suggested.

Releasing a heavy breath, I slowed my left arm down, focusing on how my body responded the closer my hand got to Sarah's hand. Our palms connected and I slowly brought my hand back to my side, choosing to ignore Sarah's giant smile and words of encouragement.

"Keep going." I started the process over. "So what's going on with you today? This whole not talking thing is freaking me out."

I just shrugged, my right hand hitting hers before starting on my left.

"I'd much rather have snarky and sarcastic Owen than this."

My eyes darted to her, confused by her admission. I would have thought she'd prefer me silent, going along with whatever she asked over me being a dick.

"At least that Owen has some fight in him."

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Alright. I'm eating through my four chapter buffer. I maintained for so long 😫. I'm also having hard time focusing but I refuse to completely lose focus. Once I'm caught up with what I have done you'll be getting updates as I finish them at random. I'm not disciplined enough to post on a schedule unless it's everyday.