Owen

Time to Waste

"No I can't."

I felt my heart sink in my chest, my eyes dancing between hers as if maybe they'd give me some sort of answer.

"Why?" My voice came out foreign to my ears.

I'm not entirely sure what hurt most. Hearing from Max she was purposely acting like she hated me or hearing her say she couldn't trust me.

They're both kind low blows that left me slightly breathless with a dull ache in my chest.

I watched her shake her head, taking another bite of her food like she hadn't just tried to stick a knife in my heart directly beside the one from Drew. I'd only taken a couple of bites but my appetite was gone, just like that.

"Mina, why can't you trust me?" I pushed when she didn't supply me with an answer. "What did I do?"

"Nothing." She was quiet as she responded, avoiding my eyes even though I was staring directly at her.

"Nothing?" It fell out of me, choked and confused. I couldn't even form words.

"Just forget about it Owen."

I didn't mean to raise my voice but my chest was tight and I was scared. I was scared this was it. That this was all I'd ever be to her. I loved her. And I didn't want to be one of those guys that lost the girl he loved.

"No!" She jumped at my outburst and I instantly felt bad. "I'm sorry, I just, Mina, please."

It felt like the walls of the restaurant were closing in on me.

"I can't, Owen, even if I wanted to. I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I can't Owen!" She started to yell at me, frustrated that I wouldn't let it go.

"But.."

"It has nothing to do with you!" The tears sprung back in her eyes, the sight made me feel like a dick for pushing it.

She looked back down at her plate, letting out a sigh as we both tried to find our composure again. I needed to say something to make her stay.

"I'm sorry." I told her. "I..."

I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd lost her, I never had her to begin with. But at the same time I needed her to know that I didn't just care, I didn't just have a crush.

"You don't have to trust me." I finally said. "It doesn't change that I'm still gonna be here."

She kept shaking her head.

"You don't have to ever feel the same way back Mina, but I love you and I'm not sorry that I do."

Her green eyes snapped to mine, angry. "You don't love me."

"I do."

"No you don't Owen." She snapped.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Her mouth came open like maybe she had a list to recite. A list of completely false accusations about herself. But then she snapped it shut.

"You're wasting your time." She told me.

"It's my time to waste if I want."

And I would. I'd give her time. I could be patient. Maybe it sounded crazy but I knew she was it. I could see her in my life, past now, past a year from now, five years. I could still see Mina there, rolling her eyes, telling me I was obnoxious.

"I don't hate you." Her eyes widened like maybe she hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"I know." A ghost of a smile pulled at my face.