The One After Liza // David Dobrik

Chapter Thirty-One: Hard Times

"All that I want, is to wake up fine,
Tell me that I'm alright, and i ain't gonna die."

The alarm beeps and I just lay and stare at the wall, as David groans and kissed the back of my head before getting out of bed and hopping into the shower.

Sleep has been short and almost non existent. 

He comes back and his eyes flicker towards mine and then away.

It's been the same loop every day, David gets up, showers, goes to the 'vlog house' and comes home late.
Myself just laying in bed, feeling waves of guilt and overcome with the feeling of shame.

He kisses my forehead before he leaves and I can't even muster up the strength to say anything to him. I just slowly close my eyes and lean into him.

"Did you need anything?" He says softly.

I shake my head no as he gets off the bed and grabs his keys. It had been three months since we had lost the baby.

It had been really hard, on everyone, especially me.
I couldn't understand why it had happened or wrap my head around the fact it did happen.
Was there something I could've done to prevent it?

The answer was no. Things just happen sometimes. No given reason.

I hear Natalie and David leave, and then a few minutes later I hear the door open again.

The bedroom door creeps open and Carly, Erin, Corinna, Kristen and Kara all slowly walk in and surround the bed. They're holding snacks and flowers and gifts and I burst into tears as they all jump on the bed and hug me.

"Guys." I sob, "thank you."

• • •

David walks into the house around 8pm and I'm softly humming along to some song playing in the kitchen, stirring the pasta I've made us for dinner.

He placed a hand on my hip and kisses my forehead.

"This is a good surprise." He smiles softly down at me.

"Thank you." I say, "it's been a hard few months, and I," I sigh, "I haven't been exactly the easiest to deal with, so thank you."

He smiles and grabs my cheeks with his hands, and kisses my lips.

"I love you, all of you, every single inch of you. No need to thank me."

"I love you too." I say softly.

• • •

Four months later

As I sat side stage at the late, late show, a special youtuber edition. I watched as David sat and spoke with Jason, Zane and Heath beside him.

My nerves shook through my body as I prepared myself for a game of fill your guts or spill your guts.

As the show cut, I was called over the the spill your guts table and David came and hugged me and kissed the side of my head as he did so, the crowd Aw'd.