The Memory of Fate (Book 4)

11. Brotherly Support

Bennett

As soon as she left the studio, I grabbed my phone and dialed my brother's number. I paced back and forth across the room, listening to the phone ring, silently begging him to answer.

Finally, he did. "Hey, everything okay?"

"Did you tell Mom where I am?"

"What? No." David paused for a second. "Why? She didn't find you, did she?"

I shook my head, sitting down on the bench in the corner. "She was trying to find me, but didn't recognize me. So I guess that's something. You're the only one who still talks to her that knows where I am, Dave. Are you sure you didn't let something slip out at some point that I'm in the city?"

"No, of course not." He paused again, thinking. "Well... I may have mentioned that you were living with Tommy, but that was two years ago, Ben."

I groaned, leaning my head back against the wall. "Well, I guess the good thing is that even if she tracks down Tommy, he has no clue where I'm living now. She's not going to find me, especially after standing a foot in front of me, talking about her precious little girl and having no clue who I am."

"Ben, you're leaving out a whole lot of details here," Dave said. That's when I remembered that I never told him about what happened with Tommy. It's been a few weeks since I've talked to him. "Please start at the beginning."

So I did. I told him what Tommy had said to me to moving out of his place to finding this new place with Theresa to Mom showing up at work this morning.

"How could she not even recognize me, Dave?" I asked, standing up to pace across the room. "Yeah, I look different than the last time she saw me, but it's like she doesn't even want to see me."

"I'm not sure she really knows what you being trans actually means," he said. "Whenever I've seen her, she has asked about you, but I don't think she understood or realized we were using different pronouns. I've tried explaining it to her, but she wouldn't listen."

I shook my head. "Obviously. She's going around with this idea that I'm a lesbian. I'm not even into girls!"

"I know that Ben. But I think she's gotten a little crazy since Dad died. She hasn't been herself."

I sighed, leaning my back against the wall. It's been almost six months since his death. It barely seemed real, since I wasn't even invited to the funeral. David had wanted to tell me, but Mom forced him not to say anything. I wish I had known, though. I wasn't sure if I would have wanted to know, but it would have been better than finding out he died two weeks too late.

"When did she move here?" I asked.

David paused. "I honestly don't know. I haven't really talked to her recently, and definitely nothing about her moving or trying to find you." He sighed. "Want me to talk to her for you?"

"And say what? That she had a full conversation with me but didn't even know it? That'll have her right back here and, frankly, I don't think I ever want to deal with that."

"No, Bennett, listen. I can call her, see where she is and let her tell me that she's looking for you. Then I can tell her not to, if you want."

I let myself slide down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I didn't know if that's what I wanted. Honestly, I really did miss my mom, but I missed the mom that loved me for me. Not the woman she turned into when I told her I wasn't who she wanted me to be, who can't understand who I am now.

"I don't know," I said. "David, I..." I sighed. "I miss her, but I miss when she still loved me. After Tommy left me, I only had Kali to turn to. That should have been a time for Mom to help me through. Not just my best friend. Mom was always there for me growing up and then she wasn't, but I had Tommy to support me, so I was okay."

"You could have called me, Benny, when he broke it off. I would have been there. Immediately."

I shook my head. "But you have that job, and Anna, and Matty. I couldn't just pull you away from everything, Dave." Tears were starting to form in the corners of my eyes and I wiped them away. "But I'm okay now, I guess. Sometimes it still hurts, but I'm trying to get over him."

"What are you doing today?" Dave asked. "I'm home with Matt. He's got a fever. Why don't you stop by?"

I looked at the clock on the wall. I had a few hours until my next class came in. I guess I could stop by. I had been planning on staying here and working on the routine I started for the kids, but I knew I wasn't going to be productive at all today. Besides, it would be nice to see my brother and nephew again.

"Sure," I sighed. "I'll be over in half an hour. Thank you."

As soon as I hung up the phone, I got a text from Theresa: Hey Bennett. That guy that came by last night, Patrick, called to ask if he could see the place again on his lunch break. I'm stuck at work, but would you be able to be there?

I sighed again. Going back home meant I couldn't go to David's. But we needed a third roommate and if this Patrick guy was seriously interested, I couldn't afford to send him away. So I told her I would be there and sent a text to my brother telling him what happened. Maybe I could see him this weekend or something.

Right now, I had an apartment to show off to a guy that still made me feel uncomfortable whenever I thought about him. This day couldn't get any worse.