The Memory of Fate (Book 4)

36. A Reason to be Nervous

Patrick

I sat on Bennett's bed as he ran around the room, trying to find the 'perfect' outfit to wear. I told him it didn't matter what he wore. We were only going to dinner at my parents' house. He's already met them. I didn't see what the big deal was.

Finally, he seemed content with what he was wearing. He grabbed a pair of shoes and pulled them on. "Okay, we can leave now," he said.

"Are you sure?"

His face fell. "Do I not look okay? I should have gone with the black shirt, shouldn't I?"

I shook my head, standing up. "You look beautiful. Come on."

Bennett grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. "I just really want to make a good impression, you know? I already feel like your dad doesn't like me."

I squeezed his hand as I grabbed both his and my phones off his dresser. "Of course he likes you. Why wouldn't he?"

"I don't know, just..." He sighed, but started leading me out of his room. "Last time I saw him, he made a couple comments about being trans. That's all."

I never heard Dad say anything like that about him, but then again, I've barely talked to my parents since I've been back home. I was still somewhat mad at them for moving me out of that apartment.

But then Mom told me to invite Bennett for dinner and I couldn't say no. If they wanted to get to know him as my boyfriend, who was I to stop them? I had never done that before, and I was glad Bennett was the first boyfriend I was bringing home to them.

I guess I could understand where Bennett's nervousness was coming from, especially if my dad did actually say something to him that wasn't okay. But I'm sure it was just my dad not thinking before he spoke, or not realizing what he said would have bothered Bennett. He wasn't sure how to react to me when I first came out, although thankfully he learned quite a bit since then.

But as I drove out of the city to my parents' house, I tried distracting Bennett from whatever he was nervous about. We talked about everything except dinner. Mostly, I kept asking Bennett about his work and the dance classes he taught. I knew he loved talking about those, and I loved hearing him talk, so it worked.

But only until we arrived at the house. Then he started getting nervous again.

I leaned over the center console in the truck and kissed him. "Everything's gonna be fine," I told him. "I promise."

He nodded slowly. "Okay. But if anything happens..."

"I'll protect you, don't worry."

Bennett smiled. "My hero." Then he opened the door and hopped out of the truck.

I followed him up to the front door. I had wanted to just bring him around the house and down to my room, but going through the front door was probably the better option. More polite, anyhow.

I used my key to unlock the door and let him walk in first. "Mom?" I called into the house as I stepped in and shut the door behind me. "We're here."

"Oh, perfect timing!" she called back from the kitchen. "I'm just finishing up dinner."

Bennett and I both took off our shoes at the door and I led him down the hall to the kitchen. Mom was standing at the stove, pouring something from a pot into a small bowl. Dad was nowhere to be seen.

She turned around when she heard us walk into the room. "Hi, Bennett," she said, smiling. "Welcome to our home."

"Thank you so much for having me, Mrs. Crawford."

"Oh, good. You're back," Dad said to me as he walked into the room. "That means we can eat."

"You remember Bennett, right Dad?" I asked, since he didn't seem to notice him at all. I really hoped Bennett hadn't been right to worry about my dad, but seeing them in the same room together wasn't looking so promising.

He turned to us. "Oh, yes. Hello."

That was the end of their interaction, since he walked out of the kitchen before Bennett could respond. Bennett looked at me, one eyebrow raised. So maybe he was a bit right, but I wasn't about to let my dad's attitude ruin tonight.

Mom started asking Bennett questions, so I followed Dad out into the dining room. The table was already set with four place settings, and Dad was pulling out his chair at the head of the table.

"Dad?" He looked up at me. "Do you have a problem with Bennett?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

I sighed, leaning on the back of one of the chairs. "You were a bit cold to him back there. And he said you made some comments the day you moved me back here."

"Comments?"

I looked at him, confused. How could he not remember being rude to him? "About him being trans?"

He sat down in his chair, staring at his plate. "Oh. That. I thought you meant me blaming him for your suicide attempt."

My eyes went wide. "It's not his fault and you know that. It was my fault and I'm fine now. Bennett did nothing wrong."

My father rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else as Bennett and my mom walked out of the kitchen, both holding trays of food. They were chatting away about something, oblivious to what we had just been talking about in here.

Bennett walked over next to me and placed a bowl of mashed potatoes and a bowl of green beans on the table. He nudged my arm with his, smiling up at me. "Your mom's really nice," he said quietly.

I nodded. I wasn't about to tell him that he might still have to worry about my dad. Although it was apparently because of me, not because he was trans that my dad had a problem with him, which was slightly better. I was almost afraid that because it took him a while to come around to accepting me when I came out, that he'd be the same way with Bennett.

"Howard, Bennett was just telling me about his job at a dance studio in the city," Mom said, taking her seat on Dad's left.

Bennett and I sat down, me on Dad's right and him on my other side. Dad still hadn't said anything in response to Mom as we filled our plates with food, so I grabbed Bennett's hand under the table. I'd be here for him, no matter what was about to happen.

"Seems kind of strange that you dance," he finally said. "Isn't that a girls activity? Wouldn't it have been easier to stay a girl then?"

So much for his problems not being about that. "If you have a problem with him, just come right out and say it," I demanded. "It doesn't matter who he used to be, what matters is who he is now."

"It just seems kinda funny that you spent all that time convincing me you were gay just to start dating someone who isn't even a real man."

Bennett squeezed my hand tight. I didn't blame him.

I stood up, keeping my hand in his. "I am gay. I'm very gay. And whether or not Bennett is trans doesn't mean anything to me because I love him. No matter what."

I pulled my hand out of Bennett's grasp to pick up both of our plates. "We're going to eat this downstairs."

I barely waited for Bennett to scramble out of his chair to head towards my basement door. So much for tonight going smoothly.