The Memory of Fate (Book 4)

22. Tommy Talks

Bennett

"I think I messed up."

Kali sighed, watching me as I paced back and forth across my empty studio. "That's the third time you've said that since I got here five minutes ago. Can you please explain, Ben? What did you do?"

I stopped pacing and faced her. "I had sex with Pat last night."

Her eyes went wide. "Your roommate Pat?

"What other Pat is there?" I sat down on the bench next to Kali. "I don't know... we went out and he was so protective of me when I was trying to get laid. But then we both ended up going home alone and one thing led to the next and we were in my bed together. And it was good, Kali. It was honestly the best sex I've ever had."

"Are you serious?"

I blushed. "Way better than Tommy, honestly. It was the first time I actually had gay sex, you know?"

"Ben."

I shook my head. "Just because he's a guy doesn't mean anything. Tommy would never go near my ass."

"No, Ben. Turn around."

Before I had a chance to, there was a voice from behind me. "I just didn't want to hurt you."

I jumped to my feet when I realized it was Tommy. He was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. Why the hell would he be here?

"Get out," I said. "Please, just get out."

"Benny, please," Tommy said, stepping into the room and uncrossing his arms. "I know I hurt you-"

Kali stood up. "Yeah, so you have no right being here, you bastard," she said defensively. "I believe Bennett told you to get the fuck out. So go."

"Five minutes," he said to me, completely ignoring Kali. "That's all I ask. Please, can we talk? It's important."

I sighed. "Fine. Talk."

Kali opened her mouth to disagree, but I shushed her. If Tommy came all the way here, and stayed, despite Kali being here too, then it had to be a big deal for him. I was willing to give him five minutes. That was it.

"I kind of wanted it to be just us..." he said, eyeing Kali from the corner of his eye. "No offense, Kali. It's just... personal."

Kali raised her hands in surrender and walked towards the door. "I'll be in the hall, Ben. If he tries anything, just holler and I'll whoop his ass."

Tommy and I stood there in silence until Kali left the studio, the door clicking shut behind her. Even then, neither of us spoke. I was waiting for him to start, since he was the one who was so adamant on talking to me.

"Four minutes," I said, breaking the silence. I didn't know if it had actually been a full minute or not, but it worked.

"Right." He pulled a folded envelope out of his back pocket. "I had been trying to tell you this over the phone, but you'd never let me. And since you never called me back when I told you about it in that voicemail I left you, I'm assuming you never listened to it?" He took a deep breath, playing with the envelope in his hands. "Listen, I love you, Bennett, but not in the way you need me to. I tried so hard to love you in every possible way, but I couldn't. That doesn't mean I ever wanted you to go back to who you used to be. Actually, I want the opposite for you. That's why I started doing this, I don't know... about two years ago?"

He held out the envelope to me and I took it. Inside was probably a thousand dollars or so. "What?" I whispered. "Tommy, what is this?"

He stepped closer to me. "It's to help you pay for your bottom surgery. I know it won't cover everything, but it'll take a decent chunk off the overall cost."

My eyes were starting to water. I wiped them with the backs of my hands. I couldn't cry, not over this. It would have taken me twice as long to save that much money on my own. This was huge. "Why? Why didn't you ever tell me you were doing this? Why give it to me now?"

Tommy rested his hands on top of mine. "I never wanted to end things with you like that. I had planned on sitting you down and talking everything out. And I'd give you the money and you would take the spare room in the apartment. But then I met Michelle and I developed feelings for her a whole lot faster than I expected. Everything that happened after wasn't meant to happen that way and I am so sorry, Benny."

I was speechless. That was the last thing I ever expected from him. Of course, it sounded exactly like something Tommy would do, though. I didn't know if I could even accept this.

"Please, Ben," he said. His hands were still on mine, tightening his grip slightly. "Take it. I want you to have it."

Instead of answering him, I took my hands out of his and threw my arms around his neck. He hugged me back. I breathed in his scent, something I never thought I'd do again.

Tommy laughed. "You're welcome."

I let go of him, taking a step back. "I don't know how to thank you. Tommy, this... this is huge."

"You don't have to thank me." He reached up and brushed some of my hair off my forehead like he used to do. "Just be the best man you can be."

Without thinking, I leaned up and pressed my lips against his. I knew it was a bad idea, but I couldn't help myself. To my surprise, he kissed me back, pulling me closer to him.

"Okay, that wasn't what I expected to walk into."

I quickly pulled back from Tommy to look at Kali. "No one said you could come back in yet."

"Yeah, but it had been awhile," she said. "I was afraid someone was murdered in here and I would have to deal with the body. Not... I don't know what that was."

I looked back at Tommy. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. You have your girlfriend, too. I just..."

"Wanted one more," he finished for me. "It's okay. I think we both needed that. Michelle doesn't need to know and neither does your boyfriend."

I barked out a laugh. "Yeah, I'm not dating anyone. I was a bit... reckless last night."

He looked taken aback. "Wow. Well, good for you, I guess." He glanced at Kali. "I should head out." He gestured to the envelop. "But let me know how everything goes with that, okay?"

I nodded. "Of course. And thank you. So much."

As soon as he left the studio, Kali was reaching for the envelope. I didn't let her have it.

"Come on, Ben!" she said. "It's gotta be something good for you to have made out with him like that."

I checked the time. I still had fifteen minutes before my next class was going to come in. Plenty of time to explain all this to her. Maybe it would give me time to fully wrap my head around it too, although I had a feeling it wouldn't fully sink in quite so soon.