The Memory of Fate (Book 4)

30. For You

Bennett

I sat in the middle of my empty studio, staring at the clock on the wall as I stretched. I had only been here for a few minutes, but it felt like forever. There was no reason to look at the clock. Nobody was coming in today. I wasn't even supposed to be here today.

I felt terrible leaving Pat the way I did. I straight-up lied to him so that I could have a chance to process what he said. Pat loved me. It was hard to believe since we barely even knew each other.

I shouldn't have left, that much I knew. What I didn't know was what I was going to say to him when I went back.

Of course I liked him, but I wasn't at the love point yet. It was weird being on this end in the relationship, especially so early into one. When I first told Tommy that I loved him, he said it back immediately. There was no doubt there.

My phone started ringing from where I left it on the bench on the other side of the room. I slowly picked myself off the floor, not really in the mood to talk to anyone right now. I was half expecting it to be Pat, calling half an hour after I left to beg me to come back. But he knew I was "working". No matter what he was feeling right now, he probably wouldn't do that.

When I grabbed my phone, it was Theresa's name that flashed across my screen. She, unlike Pat, had no qualms calling me during work. He probably told her what happened this morning.

I ignored the call. I was supposed to be working, after all. But then she immediately called back and I had a sinking feeling in my chest that it was something else.

"Hello?"

"Bennett, oh my God!" she shrieked. "Get home. Right now."

She hung up before I could ask anything. My heart was beating a mile per minute. Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong.

I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the studio. The apartment wasn't too far away, so I made it in only a few minutes running as quickly as I could. Outside were two police cars and an ambulance, all with the sirens blaring. That couldn't be for our apartment, right?

I hurried up the stairs. One police officer was standing in my doorway. As soon as I saw him, I gasped. They really were here for us.

"What's going on?" I demanded, getting over to the officer in a matter of seconds.

He held up his hands. "Sorry, sir, but I can't discuss that with you."

"But I live here!"

From inside, I heard Theresa yell my name. In the next second, she was pushing past the police officer and was standing in front of me.
"What the hell did you say to Pat this morning?"

I shook my head. "What? Nothing! What's going on?"

Theresa grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. I dropped my stuff on the floor while still being dragged through the living room. I noticed another police officer standing outside Pat's room.

"T, stop," I said, taking my arm back. "Just tell me what happened. Please."

She turned to face me. "I don't know. All I know is that the police forced their way in here because someone called them to tell them Pat was about to kill himself. And guess what. He had a freaking gun and was about to pull the trigger. And when he was asked why, do you know what he said? He said your name. That's it. So what the hell happened?"

My chest tightened. I felt like I couldn't breathe. It was my fault. I left him before when I shouldn't have. I didn't think he'd be crazy enough to kill himself, but he told me he's tried before. I should have remembered that.

I ran around Theresa and past the cop in Pat's doorway. I found him sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. A woman was kneeling on the floor in front of him, talking quietly.

"Pat," I said. Both him and the woman looked up at me. I kept talking. "What were you thinking?"

He shook his head. "Why do you care?"

"I care because you're my friend. Hell, you're my boyfriend. Why wouldn't I care about you?"

The woman stood up and I realized she must have come in the ambulance. "What's your name?" she asked me. I told her and she nodded. "Well, Bennett, I want to take Pat with me so we can keep an eye on him for a little while, but it'll be a lot easier if he comes willingly. Do you understand?"

Even if I didn't, Pat made it pretty clear what she was talking about. "I don't need to go anywhere," he said. "I'm fine."

I sat next to him. "Sweetie, no." I felt like I was going to cry, but I held the tears back. I needed to be strong for him. "You're not fine right now. But you will be. Okay? Just go with them. Please. You mean so much to me. I can't lose you."

He slowly shook his head. "But you don't love me."

I sighed, grabbing onto his hand with mine. "Maybe not right now. But I will. I know I will." I gave him a small smile. "You just need to give me a chance to love you. And you can't do that if you're dead."

He shook his head. "I can't go back there. Not again."

With my other hand that wasn't holding onto his, I cupped his face, making him look directly at me. There was so much sadness in his eyes, it broke my heart. "I'll be with you every step of the way. I promise."

It took a moment for him to react, but he eventually nodded. "Fine. I'll go. For you."