Taking Risks (Book 1) [COMPLETED]

Chapter Forty

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakapagmaneho ng hindi naaaksidente. As soon as Vhong said those words, kinuha ko ang susi ko at umalis ng bahay niya. I think Vhong is too drunk to stop me. Isa lang ang pumasok sa isip ko. I can't let Jaki get back to Tom. I don't want to be like Vhong. He had so many regrets. I have to tell her my feelings. Hindi pa naman siguro huli ang lahat. Kapag narinig ni Jaki ang nararamdaman ko siguro hindi na niya itutuloy ang pakikipag-balikan kay Tom. I can feel it. There's a possibility that Jaki feels the same way too. Kung hindi man, I will do everything to make her fall. I will make her believe that I'm better than Tom. That I can love her better and that I will make sure that I will never hurt her.

I don't know what time it is. Late na kasi wala na masyadong traffic. Madali ko na lang narating ang condominium building ni Jaki. Sana nandito siya. Umiikot ang paningin ko habang naglalakad but I'm a man on a mission kaya walang makakapigil sa akin. Nang marating ko ang room number ng kay Jaki ay sumandal ako sa pinto bago kumatok. Nang marinig ko ang pag unlock sa likod ng pinto ay umatras na ako. The door opened.

I saw Jaki standing there wearing a pink robe. Her hair is a disheveled and her eyes is still sleepy pero nagsimulang manlaki ang mata niya ng makita ako.

"Vice." Gulat na sambit niya.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" Hindi ako sumagot. I just stared at her. Bigla kong naisip kung tama bang pumunta ako dito habang wala ako sa tamang pag-iisip. I'm so drunk that I can't think straight and clear. Kumunot ang noo niya ng wala siyang nakuhang sagot mula sa akin. Lumapit siya at inamoy ako. I watch how her eyes widen.

"Nakainom ka?" Muli ay hindi ako sumagot. Nakatitig lang ako sakanya. I don't know how to start.

"Sinong nagdrive sa'yo papunta dito?" She said seriously with a restrain in her voice. Kahit lasing ako ay rinig kong kinokontrol niya lang ang galit niya.

"Ako lang." Tipid na sagot ko. I heard her silent curse.

"Diba sabi ko sa'yo don't drive when you're drunk?" She scolded. Ngayon ko lang siya nakita na ganito kagalit.

"Paano kung naaksidente ka? Jusko Vice mag isip ka naman. Gusto mo bang mapahamak?"

"But I'm okay."

Bumuntong hininga siya. It seems like she's trying to calm herself. Nang magsalita siya ay malumanay na.

"Oo sinuwerte ka na naman pero paano sa susunod? Ano hihintayin mo munang mapahamak ka bago mo itigil 'yang ganyan?"

I like it. The way she shows her concern and worry for me. It may be ridiculous but it assures me and gives me hope na may pake si Jaki sa akin.

"Sorry. Hindi ko na uulitin." I said softly.

"Dapat lang." She sigh tiredly. Tinitigan niya ako.

"Ano ba kasing ginagawa mo dito?" Tanong niya bigla. That put me back to what's my purpose of going here.

"What happened?" Walang patumpik tumpik na tanong ko. Mukhang naguluhan naman siya sa tanong ko.

"Sa pag-uusap niyo?" Her face relaxed when she finally understood what I'm asking about.

"He apologized." She said simply.

"And?" I urge. Umiwas siya ng tingin. Sinubukan kong huliin ang tingin niya pero iniiwas niya ito sa akin. Then it dawned on me why she can't look at me.

"Okay na kayo. Binalikan mo siya." It was a statement. Hindi kinontra ni Jaki ang sinabi ko and that confirmed it.

"Sabi mo mag-uusap lang kayo." I can hear the pain in my voice. Sinabi niya 'yon at pinaniwalaan ko siya. Pinanghawakan ko ang sinabi niya.

"You don't understand Vice—"

"Then make me understand!" My voice boomed in the empty hallway. Jaki jumped in surprised. Umiba ang ekspresyon sa mukha niya. Hindi ko na ito mabasa.

"You're drunk. Maybe we should talk in the morning. Pumasok ka na." Sabi niya at niluwagan ang pinto sa condo niya para makapasok ako.

"No. Let's talk right now. Let's talk why you took him back after he left you." Sabi ko sakanya.

"Nagkamali siya Vice. Oo. Pero pinagsisihan niya na yun. Hindi naman siya perpekto. And I still love him."

My heart stopped.

I still love him.

I still love him.

I still love him.

It was like her words were knives that keeps stabbing me in my heart.

"Paano na ako?" I ask in a small voice. I look at her eyes. She looked troubled and puzzled.

"Anong..I don't understand.."
That was the last straw. I burst out.

"Hindi mo pa rin ba ramdam Jaki? Mahal kita!" Hindi ko na napigilang sabihin. I watch how the color on her face drained. Hindi siya makapaniwala sa narinig niya. Gulat na gulat ang ekspresyon sa mukha niya.

"I..W-What..." She tried saying something but she failed.

Lumapit ako sakanya at hinawakan ko ang mga kamay niya. Tumingin ako ng diretso sa mga mata niya. Ito na ang pagkakataon kong sabihin at aminin lahat sakanya.

"Mahal kita Jaki. I don't know how it happened or when it happened but I just woke up one day, realizing that I'm deeply in love with you. Just give me a chance Jaki. I will show you that I'm better than him. I will love you with all my heart. I won't hurt you." I said in a soft voice while looking directly in her eyes.

"V-Vice..What..I don't.." Naguguluhan na sambit niya. Unti unti niyang binawi ang kamay niya.

"Don't you feel anything for me?" Rinig ko ang takot sa sarili kong boses. She look at me and I can see the tears threatening to fall.

"Vice..I'm sorry."

Nanlamig hindi lang ang puso ko kundi pati na rin buong pagkatao ko sa narinig ko. The side of my eyes heated. Is this it? Is this the moment where I'll be hurt so much that I will not recover? Because I can feel my heart starting to split into two.

"Lasing ka lang. You're not thinking straight. Let's talk tomorrow okay?" Sabi niya at tumalikod na. Bago pa siya makalayo ay hinatak ko na siya pabalik sa akin. Kinulong ko siya sa bisig ko. I buried my face on her neck. I heard her gasp.

"This is real Jaki. Yes I'm drunk but I know that what I feel for you is real. I'm sure. My feeling have never been this real."

Naramdaman kong tumulo ang mga luha ko. Hindi siya pwedeng lumayo sa akin. Gagawin ko ang lahat para piliin niya ako. She just have to give me a chance. I will do everything even giving up my dignity.

Humiwalay ako sakanya at dahan dahang lumuhod sa harapan niya. Napasinghap siya. I held her hands and I look up to her. My sight turning glassy because of my tears. Hindi niya ako pinigilan dahil na rin siguro gulat pa rin siya sa pag-amin ko.

"Jaki I'm not saying this because I'm drunk. I've been feeling this in a long time." I paused, trying to catch my breath.

"Please choose me. I..I want to try this with you Jaki. P-Please give me a chance."

I don't care if I look pathetic and desperate right now. Nakita kong malapit na ring umiyak si Jaki. She looks helpless. Nakita kong nahihirapan siya. I saw the look in her eyes that's telling me that I should be prepared for the bomb she's about to drop. She tried helping me to stand pero hindi ako nagpatinag.

"V-Vice I can't..." Umiiyak na sabi niya. I can feel my own tears continously falling from my eyes down to my cheeks.

"I love him. It will always be him Vice. I'm sorry."

And just like that. My world completely crumbled.