Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

Reach Down, And Pick The Crowd Up

Dusselldorf Germany,
April 10, 1990

It was a few weeks later and Soundgarden was heading out on the European leg of the tour. I was able to get the time off work as I asked if I could go down to just part time. Nancy had hired 2 more girls to work at the store so it made it possible for me to do that. I had to go down to part time as my mom being sick took up a lot of my time. I was calling her every day sometimes she'd call me twice a day just to talk and obviously talk about her treatment. It really sucked that she was now starting to feel the effects of the treatment which was making her feel really horrible, but she was pushing through it.

Andy's parents decided to shut down the life support that was keeping him alive that same day that Chris and I saw him  last. He had taken a turn for the worse and was no longer responding like he was before. Andrew Wood died at 3:00 pm on March 19th 1990.

Andy's funeral was... hard to describe. Andy was cremated and then buried in Bremerton Washington. There were so many people from his family and friends that came out to celebrate his life and say goodbye. There were so many fans of his showing their condolences and gifts for Andy laid out everywhere around his marker. Chris didn't cry though, but you could tell it was hard for him to hold it together. Let's just say, he got very, very, very drunk that night.

I had just finished packing and had my bags ready by the door while I waited for Chris to pick me up. Chris was in a very different mood lately which was completely understandable. He was quieter than usual and barely was able to say anything to anyone. I still haven't been able to get him to talk to me, though I'm pretty quiet when it comes to stuff about my mom. I'd rather just hold it in, I don't want to burden anyone with what I'm going through. I guess Chris feels the same.

I sat on my couch mind numbly flipping through the channels on my tv, trying to distract myself from everything. Suddenly there was a knock at my door and I immediately jump up and switch off the tv to get the door. I open it and see Chris standing outside waiting for me in his usual black T-Shirt, baggy shorts, Doc Martens and leather jacket. The necklace that Andy gave him shone in the grey overcast light as he turned and looked at me with his beautiful blue eyes, his clean shaven face, his hair flowing well passed his shoulders as the wind blew.

"Hi baby," He half smiles at me.

"Hi," I say and he steps toward me, leans down and presses his lips to mine. He lingers on my lips for a few moments as I reach up and touch his smooth cheek. His cologne smelled so sweet, yet musky, which was heaven to my nostrils. He pulls away from my lips and touches his forehead to mine

"You ready?" He asks with his eyes closed.

"Yep," I say as I touch his bottom lip with my index finger. I can't help it, I love that pouty bottom lip. He gives me a quick kiss on my forehead, then pulls away and grabs my bags for me. I step inside for a moment to check to make sure everything is ok in the apartment and then follow Chris out the door.

•••

Our first stop on the tour was in Dusseldorf Germany. The flight was a long 12 hours but we made it and arrived early in the morning. We eventually find our way to the hotel and check in. I follow Chris up to the room and I swear I am so tired, we didn't sleep on the plane at all. I'm used to maybe a 3 hour time difference when I travel from Seattle to Toronto but this was a whole other level. It was about 6 in the morning here but it felt like it was 6 in the afternoon. My internal clock was so messed up.

"I feel like I've been awake for 2 days," I say as I walk in the room and flop down on the bed.

"Well in a way we have been," Chris says as he sets his bags down and his guitar and takes his jacket off. He walks over to me and lays down beside me on the bed face down, his hair spilling everywhere, his arms stretched out above him and then folds them under his head to look at me. I turn my head and look at him and he smiles at me. He then lifts himself up to turn on his side propping his head up on his hand and touches my cheek. I close my eyes, feeling his hands touch me and just get lost in the feeling of him.