Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

And God So Loved Soundgarden, He Gave Them His Only Song

Seattle Washington,
August 5, 1991

It was a few months later and Chris and I were finally getting settled into our new home. The basment was just newly re-finished in converted into Chris's studio, which was really exciting for Chris to have a whole separate place to be creative, and he was obviously taking well advantage of it. There were tons of loose papers everywhere of song ideas and lyrics he had been working on since we moved. I for one love every single piece of the messiness and hearing him late at night sometimes just singing down here. He's still working on getting it more soundproofed but I seriously do not mind listening to him at all. I could listen to his voice all day over and over and fall in love all over again.

The new album was just finished and set for release in just a few weeks, and they were also gearing up for an opening spot with Guns N' Roses. I was more than excited for Chris and the guys, I mean opening for GNR? That's fucking amazing! Well at least I think so but I love Guns N' Roses so I'm a little biased. I would never admit to Chris but Slash... oh man... anyways.

It almost seemed like everyone was releasing their albums all at the same time.  Stone and Jeff were releasing their debut album soon with Eddie as they finally settled on calling their band Pearl Jam and even Nirvana was set to release their album just before Soundgarden. Let's just say... Seattle is exploding.

Right now, it was early in the morning and Chris was down here in the studio getting some writing in before he and the guys are set to go shoot the first video release off of Badmotorfinger, Jesus Christ Pose. Since the shoot is set in the Mojave Desert, we are catching a flight to Las Vegas and then driving to the location from there. Then after that, they have a show in Olympia to test out more of the new material before the album is released. Soundgarden is definitley starting to take off in a really big way.

"Hey baby... have you seen where I put... my... notebook...?" Chris says as he sits in his swivel chair and fumbles around his studio desk lifting up scraps of loose paper.

"Um... no, I haven't," I say as I walk down the basement stairs with 2 cups of coffee in hand. He looks so adorable when he's flustered trying to find things sometimes. He flips his curls out of his face as he continues to shift papers everywhere.

"Fuck... I swear it was right here..." He says as he lifts up more scrap papers to find it. He still hadn't bothered to put on a shirt yet but he was wearing his normal black baggy shorts, his Doc Marten's of course and his leather wristbands. I walk over to him and hand him his coffee and then turn to help him find the book amidst the mess of lyric sheets and scraps of ideas.

"Here," I say as I find it under the last pile of papers and hold it out for him as I take a sip of my coffee.

"Thanks, baby," He says so sweetly to me as he sets his cup down and takes the notebook from me. He then takes my hand and pulls me closer to him so that I'm standing in between his legs while he sits in the chair. He looks up at me with his beautiful blue eyes while I sip my coffee.

"How you feeling babe?" He says as he looks up at me, placing his hands on my hips and moving them up my back under my favourite Pantera Band shirt that I had obviously modified into a muscle tank and laced up the back.

It had been at least 5 months now since my mother had passed and while each day is still a struggle, I'm not in the fetal position as much anymore. I can actually get up out of bed without feeling like I'm forcing myself anymore. It's still really hard without her, but I'm getting through it. Chris has been so amazing the whole time and helping me push through when I felt like I couldn't. I have no idea how he does it but he is the reason that I am able to face each day without breaking into a million pieces. I still haven't gone back to work though. I don't feel ready quite yet.