Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

If It Sits Upon Your Tongue

Langraaf, Netherlands June 8 1992

It was a couple of weeks into the GNR tour, and I think I was finally getting in to the groove of keeping the guys to a schedule. Lucky for me, they're pretty good at wanting to be on time which makes everything else easier, but I can tell they are getting bored with having to stick to a schedule all the time.

We are currently on the tour bus on our way to Landgraaf for the Pink Pop Festival that is held every year at the beginning of the summer. GNR have a week off for a much needed rest, but Over the last couple of weeks though, it's become quite apparent that Axl has been really flirting with me when Chris isn't around. I mean it's fine because I am definitely not interested in Axl at all. I'm a fan and that's it. I don't think I'm flirting back... I mean, I'm nice to him when he's talking to me but the way he looks at me sometimes is starting to make me feel weird. At first I didn't really think anything of it but now, I'm not so sure. Maybe this week off the GNR tour will help me just relax about it.

Right now, I'm having trouble sleeping in my tiny bunk in the back with Chris sleeping above me. I hate sleeping in this little bunk by myself. I much rather try and get a hotel room, even if it is just a cheap room but there were none available on our way to Landgraaf. Frustrated and annoyed that I can't sleep, I climb out of my bunk, adjust my P.J's and glance up at Chris who seemed to be sleeping soundly laying on his back with his one arm under his head. I wish I could crawl in there with him and have him hold me so I could fall asleep but we both won't fit. I lift myself up a little and place a kiss on his bare chest and hear him stir a little but still doesn't wake up. I then make my way to the front of the bus closing the divider behind me. I grab a seat at the dinning table and take out my planner and decide to go over the schedule for the day. I wasn't exactly sure what time is was but it was still dark outside.

While I'm going over the schedule, I hear the divider open and I glance back to see Kim rubbing his eyes to focus in the dim light of the bus.

"Hey, Andi..." He says with his groggy sleep voice.
"Hey, I didn't wake you did I?" I ask quietly.
"No... just can't sleep," Kim says as he sits down at the table across from me.
"Yea me either," I say and look down at the schedule.
"Trying to sleep on a bus can suck sometimes, especially when it's moving around as much as this one is," Kim says as he pulls out a cigarette and lights it up.

"Yea..."

"Knowing Chris, I'm surprised he's sleeping... I would've thought he would be the one out here," Kim says.
"Or trying to crawl into my bunk and getting frustrated cause he can't fit," I giggle.
"Did he actually try that?" Kim chuckles.
"Yea... I mean not to...  I mean just to sleep but he got mad and went back into his bunk," I laugh remembering the incident. He was so adorable trying to fit in with me, trying to help me fall asleep but it didn't work. Kim smirks and takes a drag off his cigarette then exhales a cloud of smoke.

"So what's on the schedule for today boss?," Kim smirks and takes another drag.
"Well... you and Chris have an interview with Kerrang magazine... one of the editors has set it up before the show... um... looks like it's for 1:00pm today... the meeting's at a pub... Overste Hof...or something..." I laugh trying to pronounce the name and Kim chuckles.

"Then just your show..."

"Cool..." Kim says puffing his smoke.
"What..?" I ask after a few moments of silence with Kim giving me a thoughtful look.
"You know we haven't really talked in a while... just you and me... everything ok with you?" Kim puffs his smoke.
"Yea... I guess so..." I say a little off guard but I know where he's coming from. We haven't really talked in a long time. He's usually always the one I run to when Chris are fighting, though that's not very often, or just when I need someone else's perspective on things.