Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

Times Of Trouble

Seattle Washington,
August 22, 1990

The next morning, I wake up next to Chris in the flatbed of his truck, underneath so many blankets with his arm draped around me. I take in a deep breath and listen to him as he sleeps. As my eyes flicker open I look at him, his curly hair strewn across his face, his breathing slow and deep while he seems to be lost in a dream somewhere. I smile at him as I watch him sleep and I reach up to brush his curls out of his face. Chris flickers his eyes open and sees me looking up at him.

"Hi," He says cutely.
"Hi," I say quietly back. He takes in a deep breath and stretches a little.
"What time is it?" He asks rubbing his eyes.
"Um... I don't know... I think it's still early..." I say as he rolls on to his back. He then moves to the edge of the flat bed and opens up the tailgate and the window of the cap. He sees Jeff by the fire pit having a smoke.

"Hey, you two," Jeff smiles.
"Hey," Chris says groggily. Chris turns back to me as I throw on my hoodie that I brought and he grabs his PJ pants and quickly manages to get them on. Chris places a quick kiss on my forehead and then climbs out of the flatbed.

"You guys sleep ok?" Jeff asks squinting his eyes from the sun as he looks up at Chris.
"Yea..." Chris says as Jeff hands him a smoke. Chris flips his hair out of his face and lights up the cigarette. I manage to finally climb out of the flatbed and I just throw my curls up in a hair tie.
"Did Mike and Stone already leave?" Chris asks as he sits down on the log bench and squints his from the smoke.
"Yea they left as soon as the sun came up," Jeff says as he takes a drag. Jeff looks out towards the water as I close up the tailgate and I then suddenly notice my clothes were still all strewn along the campfire area and the beach.

"So... you guys have a fun night or what?" Jeff smirks and looks at me. I smile nervously at him and walk towards the fire pit.
"Uh... yea..." I say shyly and Chris giggles. I then decide to walk over and quickly pick up the rest of our clothes and head towards the water and pick up the clothes that I tossed while were playing in the water.

"Good night last night?" Jeff smirks at Chris.
"Yea... yea it was actually," Chris says as he takes a drag.
"She's good for you man... the change in you that we all see is just amazing... even through all the stuff with Andy... she's good for you man..." Jeff says as he takes a drag of his smoke.

"Yea... I fucking love that girl so much man... she's like... fuck... I can't even describe it..." Chris says as he grabs a bottle of water out of the cooler case and unscrews the cap to take a sip.

"Well I think I got all my clothes..." I laugh a little as I walk back up to the fire pit and Chris smiles at me. He reaches out and catches my hand and I squeeze it a little as I walk over to the truck and throw my clothes into my bag and put it in the passenger seat.
"Hey babe, when do you want to head out?" Chris calls as he takes a drag of his smoke.
"Um... well anytime you're ready..." I say as I close the truck door.

"Well... I don't know about you guys but I'm fucking hungry so I'm just going to head back into town..." Jeff says as he butts out his smoke.
"Cool... yea I think we're gonna head out here too," Chris says and takes the last drag of his smoke and butts it out.
"Alright well... I guess I'll see you next week or something? Is it next week we start recording?" Jeff says as he stands up.
"Yep... Monday..." Chris says as he stands up as well.
"Cool... alright..."Jeff says and moves to him and they hug.
"Andi... I'm glad you came out," Jeff says sweetly and walks over to me and gives me a hug.
"Awe... yea of course..." I say as he lingers for a moment and then breaks away from me.
"Alright... later," Jeff says as he turns and walks over to his car and drives away.

"So... you wanna head out?" Chris walks over to me and squints his eyes from the sun.
"Yea I'm pretty hungry," I say as he pulls me into him. He leans down and places a kiss on my neck while his lips slowly graze up to my earlobe.
"Me too," He says low in my ear.
"Chris... I mean for food," I laugh and playfully push him away while his beard tickles my earlobe.
"Ok, ok... lets get the fuck outta here," He giggles as he turns to grab the cooler pack from the fire pit. He throws it into the flatbed of the truck and just grabs a plain black T-Shirt to throw it on for the ride. I hop into the passenger seat of the truck while he grabs his guitar and sets it in behind his seat and hops in as we take off back to town.

•••

A short while later, Chris drops me off at home and I immediately hop in to take a quick shower. Chris and I are going to meet up in an hour to go out for some food and hang out some more but I desperately needed to clean up a little.

I hop out of the shower and quickly change into a pair of black ripped leggings, my favourite Type O Negative T-Shirt and throw my hair back up in a messy bun. I walk into the kitchen just to grab a drink and I notice a message blinking on my answering machine. I press the button to play it as I pour myself some juice.

"Hello Andrea... it's your auntie Ann calling. It's about your mother... we had to take her to the hospital... call me as soon as you get this... alrighty... talk at ya later... bye..."

As soon as that message played my heart dropped out from my chest and hit the floor. I quickly scramble to the phone and call my aunt.

"Hey... yea it's me... what happened...? Oh my god... uh huh... is she ok...? Um... yea... yea I can see... I'll get a flight as soon as I can... no... no I should be ok for money.... no really its ok... ok... oh my god... ok... I'll call you when I get to Pearson... ok... ok bye,"

I hang up with my aunt and try to hold myself together and not panic. I run to the bedroom and grab as many clothes as I can think of that I would need and pack them quickly onto my suitcase. As soon as I have everything packed I call my work and tell Nancy that I won't be in for a while. I told her what happened and she completely understood and gave me as much time as I would need and said to call when I'm back in town. As soon as I hang up with Nancy I try to call Chris but there was no answer.
I call him a second time and this time I leave a message.

"Chris... I can't meet up today... I uh... I can't explain it over the phone... please, please, please call me as soon as you get this ok...? I love you...bye," I say frazzled trying not to cry into his answering machine. I hang up and continue to get ready as fast as I can. After I'm sure that I have everything I need I call the airport to book a flight to Toronto. There was a flight available for tonight at around 6pm which would get me to Toronto by midnight. I book the flight and give them my credit card to hold my tickets and try to keep myself calm while I wait for Chris to call me back.

A little bit goes by and Chris still hadn't called me back so I get up from the couch and head back into the kitchen to call him again. Normally I wouldn't be so persistent but I need him more than anything right now.  As soon as the phone starts to ring I hear a knock at my door. As I keep the phone to my ear I walk over and open the door to see Chris standing there. All of a sudden I couldn't help myself and I drop the phone and start to cry.

"Baby...?" He says with a furrowed brow and pulls me into his arms. I cry hard into his chest as he holds me, the smell of his cologne, though comforting, didn't stop the feeling of my heart dropping to the floor and breaking into a million pieces.
"Shhhhh... ok calm down babe...what happened?" Chris soothes me. I manage to pull myself away from him and wipe my face, feeling slightly embarrassed I just left a wet mark on his army green button up shirt.
"Sorry... I uh...didn't mean to..." I say still half crying as I touch his chest where I left my tears.

"Andi... it's ok... what happened...? He says concerned as he closes the door behind him.
"I have to go home... my mom is in the hospital and it's not good... my aunt called and said she's ok right now but she's in emergency and... I need to go and see her... so I booked a flight for tonight, the plane leaves at 6pm..." I say as I turn and move my suitcase out of the way for him.
"Ok whoa... whoa... why is she in emergency...? Chris asks.
"My aunt says she was having trouble walking the last couple of days and then earlier this morning she couldn't walk at all... so my mom called her to come over and my aunt ended up calling an ambulance cause she couldn't even stand up...." I say trying not to freak out.
"Ok... fuck... ok... I'll go home right now and pack something quick and I'll be right back..." Chris says.
"No... no you don't have to come with me at all... it's ok... I don't know when I'll be back... I may have to stay there for a while..." I say as I look up at him.

"Andi... It's alright... do you need me?" He asks and I nod my head 'yes'
"Then I'll pack really quick and I'll be right back ok...?" Chris says as he places a kiss on my forehead and I almost want to cry again.

"It's ok babe... I got you," Chris offers a smile and I half smile back at him and he turns and heads out the door.