Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

So Now You Know

Los Angeles, California
September 13, 1991

Soundgarden was getting ready to head out on tour for an opening spot with Guns N' Roses. They had also just released their album, Badmotorfinger, which was doing pretty well and Chris was excited to go out and tour with Guns. He's not usually excited or at least he never seems to let on that he is but I could tell and it was adorable.

I decided to quit my job at Lost Loves. It had been so long since I worked there and I did make an attempt to go back to work but for some reason, I just couldn't do it. My first shift back at work I just was so distracted and uninspired to be there I just couldn't. Nancy took it a little hard but she understood. I don't know what I want to do but I know I don't want to just work in a clothing store any more. I'll figure out something. Right now I'm loving just being with Chris and going out on tour with him and he is extemely happy that I am going with him. Well he better be, I'm his wife... which is seriously still so weird to say.

Anyways...

Soundgarden had a few promotional interviews to do and they were booked to shoot the next video for 'Outshined'off of Badmotorfinger. Before the video shoot, they were set to do an interview on headbangers ball. It would be the first interview since the first time they met with Rikki Ratchman in 1989. It was definitely a full day today. Right now it was fairly early in the morning and we were on the tour bus heading from the Los Angeles airport to Headbangers ball for the interview. I was sitting in the dining area at the table up at the front of the bus, trying to modify my new PanteraT-Shirt that I found at a thrift store along the way while Chris , Kim Matt and Ben were jamming and comming up with some new material.

I cut up the back of the shirt and tie up the strands, then cut the collar and the sleeves off and make other random cuts to the shirt like I normally do. The front of it was so freaking cool, it had Phil, Rex, Vinny and Dime with the 'Cowboys From Hell' logo and 'Fucking Hostile' written underneath.

"Hey Andi... you ever think about doing that for real?" Kim asks me as they stop playing.
"What do you mean?" I ask as I concentrate on cutting.
"I mean.... you're really good at it... I'm surprised you haven't thought about designing clothes or something," Kim says and takes a sip of his beer.
"I sort of thought about it before but.... meh, I just do it for fun," I say as I hold up the shirt to examine my work.

"That's how we started babe... it was just something for fun..." Chris says as he gets up from the the seat in front of me and gives me a quick kiss on my forehead as he walks back to the bathroom. I sit there for a moment thinking about that statement and then shake my head. There's no way... I'm fine just making them on my own.

•••

We arrive at MTV studios and we all head inside and were escorted by one of the producers of Headbangers Ball to the 'green room' which was just basically like a dressing room. Matt and Ben had a few other appointments on their own before the video shoot so it was just Chris and Kim doing the interview today. Chris held my hand as we all walked into the room which had a bunch of large couches, a buffet table full of food, snacks, lots of coffee and the walls were plastered with posters of various bands.

Chris lets go of my hand and head directly for the coffee while I admire all of the memorabillia plastered all over the walls. There was a huge poster of Pantera which hypnotized me and I so desperatley wanted to steal it off the wall and take it home with me. Dime looked amazing in that poster. I was so enthralled in admiring Dime, I didn't even notice Chris come up behind me. I feel his hand touch my lower back which made me jump a little.

"A little jumpy are we?" Chris laughs.

"Sorry... I was just..." I trail off as I look up at him.