Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

The Marquee

London, UK
July 7, 1990

It was the last show of Soundgarden's European leg of the tour before they take a much needed break. I ended up staying as Chris was so good at convincing me not to go back home, I just avoided Jason whenever I could. Ever since that fight on the bus, Chris and Jason do not get along and it was now starting to cause a rift between Kim and Jason too. Almost the whole band is fighting and I feel like it's because of me. Chris tells me it's not because Kim and Matt love having me but inside I feel like it's my fault.

Right now we were all on the bus heading to London. Kim and Matt were up at the very front of the bus just hanging out and jamming away and Jason was in his bunk getting some sleep before the show. I come out of the small bathroom that was beside the lounge area on the bus and I hear Chris with his acoustic in the lounge room behind the door.

"Hey" I say quietly as I knock on the door.
"Hi baby," He says as he glances up at me for a second, then back down to scribble something on the paper that sat on the couch beside him.

"Working on something?" I ask as I sit down across from him on the couch.
"Uh... yea actually... I just had this thing I had to get out... and it just started flowing out of me..." Chris says as he looks down at the paper and starts to strum again.

"Can I hear it?" I ask innocently as I look at him, his hair fallen in his face. He still hadn't put a shirt on yet and was just wearing his black baggy shorts with his Doc Marten's. He looks up at me and flips his curls out of his face revealing his beautiful blue eyes.

"Um yea... it's not finished yet though and it's like really rough..." He says.
"That's ok," I smile at him and he smiles back at me.
"Ok... " He says a little nervously and starts to play.

"Please, mother mercy
Take me from this place
And the long-winded curses
I hear in my head

The words never listen
And teachers, oh they never learn
My warmth from the candle
Though I feel too cold to burn

He came from an island
Then he died from the street
And he hurt so bad like a soul breakin'
But he never said nothin' to me, yeah

Say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven
Say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven, yeah

New like a baby, lost like a prayer
The sky was your playground
But the cold girl was your bed

Ooh, I said, poor Stargazer
She's got no tears in her eyes
But fool like a whisper
She knows that love heals all wounds with time"

Chris stops for a moment and flips his curls out out of his face and glances down at the paper he had scribbled on.

"Then... I was thinking of going... 'Now it seems like too much love is Never enough, you better seek out another road 'cause this one has ended abrupt..., but I don't know if that fits... or if it makes sense...I don't know..." Chris says as he picks up the paper that he was scribbling on and looks at it thoughtfully as he puts the pen he was using between his teeth, his brow slightly furrowed as he reads it back to himself. I sit there and watch him as his expression changes as he creates and it is the most calming beautiful thing that I am able to witness.

"Andy..." I say quietly and Chris looks up at me.

"It's about Andy isn't it?" I ask and Chris smiles shyly at me.
"Yea... yea it is," Chris exhales as he takes the pen out from between his soft pouty lips and smiles shyly at me.

I stand up and move over to him as he looks up at me and I place a kiss on his forehead. I pull away as he still looks up at me and I lean down and press my lips to his, and gently sucking his bottom lip for a second, then I pull away.