Louder Than Love || Chris Cornell

I Stumbled On And All The World Fell Down

Seattle Washington, August 26 1993

"Oh my god... what the fuck?" I laugh as I sit on the floor of the living room while Selena sits on the couch as she drinks her Jack and Coke all the while we listen to Type O Negative blasting through the stereo.

"Yea... but I have to admit... he was so cute on the phone... I can't believe that he asked you for my number though," Selena giggles as she takes a sip.

"Yea... Kim is actually really sweet... he just has this tough sarcastic exterior but he is really such a teddy bear... did he ask you out though?" I say and take a sip of my orange juice and tonic water. Oh god how I wish it was a real mimosa.

"Yea... he did..." She says and takes a sip.
"Well... what did you say?" I ask.
"I may have said yes," Selena smirks and takes a sip.
"Awe... so cool... when?" I ask.
"He said he'd call me sometime next week when they get back," Selena smiles.
"Awe... that's fucking awesome," I smile. We sit and hang out for a while longer and before I realize it, it's already after midnight. No wonder I started feeling sleepy.

"Ok well... I think I should probably get some sleep... Chris was supposed to call me but I don't think I can stay awake..." I yawn as I stretch my arms over my head.
"Awe... ok well... if he calls I can just tell him you went to bed... that's ok," Selena says.

"Ok cool..." I yawn and then try to get myself up off the floor. I keep forgetting how it's difficult sometimes since she's taking up space in my belly but hey... It's not going to stop me from floor sitting. That's just who I am. Selena ends up laughing with me as she helps me up and though I feel a little embarrassed, at least she eases the embarrassment for me though.

"Is it alright if I stay up and watch a movie or something...?" She asks.

"No... not at all... go right ahead...If you uh... need anything else, just let me know... but um... thank you for staying here tonight... I really do appreciate it..." I say as I adjust my Sepultura band shirt.

"Oh lovie... you're welcome," Selena says and I give her the biggest hug and head upstairs for some sleep.

•••

Later on in the night, I was having difficulty sleeping, which I am used to since I've been pregnant but this time was different. I was half asleep and started to feel that weird twinge I had when I went to the hospital and they told me about Braxton Hicks. At first I didn't think anything of it. I rolled over in the bed onto my side, my backside up against the pillows that I had stacked on Chris's side to help me sleep better, and tried to just relax. After a few moments, something seriously felt really wrong at this point. The pain was more intense than I had ever felt in my life and suddenly the bed felt wet. Did I just pee myself? Was the pain so intense that I couldn't even control my bladder? I whimper trying to maintain my breathing as I shift myself in the bed and reach for the lamp on the beside table. I turn the lamp on and feel the pain come back with more force than before.

"Fuck... what... the... fuck...!" I exclaim. I flip the covers off of me and the image of what took place next was enough to make me want to wish that this whole thing never happened. That I could go back to the beginning and change everything.

"Selena...! Oh my god Selena...! Help me Please!" I start to cry.
"What lovie?! what?!" Selena bounds up the stairs and rushes into the bedroom to see me laying in bed, in Chris's blue plaid shirt, blood everywhere around me. I had never seen so much blood in my life. I had no idea I was even capable of housing so much blood in my body,

"Jeezus... ok... ok... I'm here lovie," Selena says as she rushes over to me.

"Where's Chris's number...?" She says looking in my bedside table.
"Uh... it's uh... in the little... on the.... table..." I sob as she fumbles through the papers and finally finds it.
"Are you ok to walk? Can you make it to the car? " She asks.
"I think so... but... I don't know...I mean... I can't... Oh my god Selena, I'm loosing her..." I cry
"No, no you're not... Lily is going to be fine... I'm going to call Chris, ok?" She says and at that point everything seemed like a blur, like a really bad nightmare only this one I can't wake up from.