// It's just you and I tonight // (A Matty Healy Fanfiction)

Day 9 continued

I wake. I'm lying in the damp, smelly hay. My face is puffy from crying and I feel a huge sense of exhaustion, like I've run a marathon or something! Every muscle in my body aches. I can hear 'Snap Out Of It' by Arctic Monkeys playing and I realise it's my ringtone! I pick my phone up from where it lies next to me, it must have dropped out of my pocket. 'Matty' shows up on the screen and I pick up instantly.

"Hols?" his voice sounds fragile, like he's been crying too

"Yeah. It's me" I say "where are you?"

"In a tree"

"In a tree?! What are you doing in a tree?"

"Smoking" he says simply, he laughs a little "look, I... I overreacted... like a lot and I... I've got off with loads of randomers while I was drunk... I mean it was a bit hypocritical of me to be honest! Once I even got off with George's girlfriend so... I'm sorry... as long as you don't like him I guess... I guess we can pretend it never happened!?" I'm so relieved, I can't believe he's saying this!

"Oh my god Matty thank you I can't believe this whole situation... I never liked him like I like you! It'll never happen again, really"

"It's alright, babe. I rang George and obviously he's pissed that I punched him but he's not too bad... You need to ring Jamie, though"

"Oh god yeah I guess I do..."

"Get it over with, it might not be that bad!"

"Okay I'll ring her now!"

"They're looking for us, you know, they're gonna send us home! Me for the punch and you... well, I'll get to that later I have a plan okay? Ring Jamie then ring me back"

"Okay... I'm so sorry... I love you"

"Love you too, babe" he hangs up.

I wonder what his plan can be as I wait for Jamie to pick up... what will I do if he gets sent home? I don't want to be here without him!

"Yes." she says bitterly

"Jamie! Listen I'm so sorry, I honestly didn't know what I was doing! I don't like George any more than a friend... I can't believe I did that to you I'm an awful friend and you deserve better-"

"Yes. I do. How could you Hols?! You always take everything from me! You always have to prove you're better than me - always!"

"That's not true!" I say, defensively

"Yes it is! You always buy your clothes from Topshop just because you know I shop at cheaper places like Primark and New Look... you always have to get better grades than me! It's always a competition with you! And now you're trying to get with more guys than me... even though you had Matty you had to take George from me!"

"Look, it's not like that! You're the one that has everything! You're gorgeous, you don't have parents that abandon you at camp and can't wait to get rid of you! You've got it all, I'm always catching up with you!"

"No, Hols that's all in your head! I don't have some perfect life!? My parents are getting divorced! But I knew I couldn't tell you that because you'd only make out that you had it harder! I'm so done with this! Call me when you grow up!" And she hangs up.

I sit there alone in the barn. Thinking about it, she's probably right. I do always feel me and her are competing... but I just thought I had to prove to people that I wasn't her sidekick, that I was just as good at getting guys as her... I can't believe she didn't tell me about her parents divorce... it's so bad that she didn't feel she could come to me for help. I decide to ring Matty back.