// It's just you and I tonight // (A Matty Healy Fanfiction)

Matty to stay: Day 6

I didn't sleep last night. I rang Matty 10 or more times, desperately trying to get a hold of him... but his phone must be off. George says it's fine, that he'll come back soon enough but I have a feeling something bad has happened... something awful. I change my clothes and go downstairs, not bothering to reapply makeup or even brush my hair. Putting the kettle on, I grab some cereal and sit down next to George at the kitchen table, starting to eat.
"We can look for him if you're that worried" George says through a mouthful of corn flakes
"Can we? It's just I am so worried... I don't know I just have a bad feeling!"
"Yeah that's fine, don't you have school though?"
"I'll tell Jamie to say I'm sick" I text her as I say this, "thanks George" he smiles weakly
"Do you think it'll still work between you after all this? Like, can you forgive him?" This is what I've been thinking of since 10 o'clock last night! I want to forgive him but it's going to be so hard
"I don't know" I reply "to be honest I... we've... it's been the long distance that's made it hard... and next year I'll be 18 so I can move out and we can get a flat?! I don't know..." The kettle boils and I go and make two cups of tea, passing one to George
"Ta" he says, smiling a little.

We get shoes on and get some stuff together, ready to go out.
"Wait, are you sure he didn't take his stuff with him? Cus he could've gone back to Manchester if so!"
"Oh yeah, shit... I don't know! I'll look upstairs" I run up and into my room. His stuffs there, it's fine. Something on his laptop catches my eye... An envelope on the top of it. I walk over and pick it up. It's unsealed and "Medicine" is written on the front in his messy handwriting. Medicine? I pull a sheet of paper out of it and find some lyrics. He's said something before about putting finished songs in envelopes so I open his laptop and enter the passcode "1975". the screensaver is of me and him on Camp. I'm struck by how different I look... back then I used to actually make an effort with my hair... it's all straight and styled whereas now I just let it go curly and frizzy without caring! My makeup is less natural as well, a full face of foundation and winged eyeliner... Matty's grinning, he looks so young and happy and so... healthy! He's so much more... I don't know... himself? I smile sadly and open his files.
"Y'alright?" George calls
"Yeah hang on!" I shout, typing 'medicine' into the search bar. I press enter. Up comes a sound file. I click it and press play.

A beautiful guitar riff comes in and I instantly get goosebumps. After a while of beautiful guitar and synth noises, his vocals come in;

"I find it hard to say 'bye bye'
Even in the state of you and I
And how can I refuse?
Yeah you rid me of the blues
Ever since you came into my life"

It's so beautiful and sincere, his voice is so deep and pure. I love it. The chorus comes in;

"Cause you're my medicine
(Yeah, you're medicine)
Yeah, you're my medicine
(You're medicine)"

It's so gorgeous I start to tear up. I pick up the lyric sheet again and read along with it. Seeing it in his handwriting reminds me of the fact that he's gone and I start to cry. I turn the sheet over so that I don't get to upset, but there's something written on the back of the sheet;

"Hols,

I know I'm a twat sometimes... I hope this song makes up for it.

I'm sorry, I love you,

Matty x"

I burst into more tears just as the song ends, wiping my eyes and trying to look normal for when I walk down to see George.
"Its okay, Holly" he says from the doorway making me jump "we'll find him" I turn to look at him
"I hope so" I smile through my tears.

We head out. Its cold and is raining a little. I light a cigarette as I walk and suck the smoke in deep, trying to calm my nerves. 'It's fine' I tell myself 'he's probably just asleep in some bus stop somewhere'. I feel sick. We walk to the park and look around. No sign.
"Think, think, think" George mumbles "where would he go?"
"I don't know... he might've wanted more drink or fags or..."
"Or coke" George suggests "but he wouldn't know where to get it round here would he?"
"Um.." I think back to a few days ago, coming back from rehearsals "he may know some people..."
"Really?! How?"
"Well... we ran into some guys from round here and they offered him... his eyes lit up... he might remember where they hang around and went to get some?!"
"Oh god, yeah probably! Where abouts do they hang out?"
"Near the alley... come on" I walk quickly in the direction of the alley, hoping, praying that he won't be there. We get there in 5 and there's no sign of anybody "thank god" I sigh with relief
"Is there a place they'd take him if he had met them?" George asks, my smile disappears
"Um... if they had a party they might be at Gunridge Road... it's where a couple of them live... we could try there?!"
"Just to be safe" George smiles "otherwise I don't know where to look!"

We start the long walk. The houses start to get larger and grander as we walk towards town. Every house has a Mercedes in the drive and the hedges of the large gardens are expertly trimmed. Slowly, the houses get smaller as we get further from the park. First council houses then council flats until we reach the infamous Gunridge. The design of the flats was clearly meant to look modern once but now it just looks bleak and old. White paint peels off the balconies and reveals rusty orange metal beneath. There's rubbish littered around and a few dodgy looking people stand smoking in corners and on doorsteps
"It's that one" I point "is he's anywhere here, it's in that one"
"Right" George says, walking with a purpose to the doors and pressing the buzzer for the flat. Someone picks up and speaks
"What d'ya want?!" A rough male voice speaks
"Looking for my mate, Matty, any ideas?" George's tone is aggressive
"Ain't seen him" he says flatly
"You're totally sure of that?"
There's a silence from the other end, a harsh laugh, a thud
"You're sure?" George repeats
"Yep" the voice says, cruel laughter in its voice
"Right" George hangs up "we're calling the police" I nod and dial '999'.
This just got serious.
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