The Alpha Hunts

Chapter 25

-edited-
Previously:

"I know you chose not to come when I called to get picked up, and I understand why. But I'm over it, all of it. I'm twenty-five years old and I don't know a damn thing about anything. I just acted like I did because I wish I did.

"I gave you a lot of shit for being human, but you're an amazing Alpha, and I should've known that once you had my fathers respect, you should've had mine too. So I'm giving it to you now. I'm sorry for being nuisance, and the bane of your existence. You don't have to forgive me, just need to know that I'm sorry." I pat the door way, before I disappear. I don't expect an answer, not yet at least. But I can finally go to bed.

Lucifer POV:

I couldn't sleep. I kept dreaming about Cassandra, every memory was played differently, it played how I wanted it to. From the moment I snatched her on the beach to the moment I took my steps away from her. I regret not fighting for her. I hate that I knew what I was doing when I was there but now I do nothing to get to her.

I swing my feet over the edge of my bed and plant my face in my hands as I rub my eyes. My room feels brighter than it used to. I don't even know what to begin today with. I could possibly sleep all day, maybe everyone would be so used to me not being here that they wouldn't realize that I'm gone. I could just camp out in my room.

I need Cassandra even if it's her throwing glass, or telling her she hates me, at least she was near when she did it. Back then my only problem was that I wish she was nice, now I just want to go back to that. Maybe if I wasn't such an ass when I first met Calvin he could have pushed her closer to me, but I conspired against since day one. Now I'm sitting here paying for it.

I stand up and go for my closet to gather clothes for my shower. If I'm going to hide I want to at least smell good. I feel like such a pussy though. I hate that I'm so hurt. I hate that thinking of her sends me into a spiral, thinking of her husband makes me angry, and then thinking of her kids makes me feel like I will never stand a chance.

I step in my shower, turning the water on the hottest it can go. The pain of the heat makes me forget. I can see my skin turning red, telling my body its had enough, but I prefer this. It barely makes me forget why I was sad. I pull the lever to make it hotter but it won't get any hotter, and eventually my body gets used to this heat and I sweat to the steam.

I turn off the water and wrap my towel around my waist. I walk to my sink with the intentions of brushing my teeth but I stare at my reflection instead, studying what could possibly be wrong with me. Was it my hair, my face, my stubble, my appearance? Do I look weak? What was wrong with my that I wasn't good enough for her?

I understand there was so many things that I did wrong. Beating her husband in front her and their kid. Getting drunk off my ass and kidnapping her son, then hurting him too. I know those are red flags, huge ones, I understand that. But none of it was on purpose. I beat him because my wolf was jealous, I got drunk I would never intentionally hurt a kid. I hate I can't bring myself back from that.

I finally get out of my own head, and started to brush my teeth. I hate to admit that its been a while, but it has. They didn't really care about my hygiene, besides the fact that I needed to shower because they didn't want to smell me.

I decide I'm going to spend the day in the gym, get in better shape. I change into a skintight athletic shirt and some basketball shorts. I don't touch my hair because when it dries it's just going to get wet with sweat and I don't want to waste time tending to it.

Leaving my room I go directly to the kitchen for a bottle of water. But I forgot that everyone wakes around the same time, and breakfast was being served. Everyone notices me, waiting for me to say something, but I can't fix my mouth to say anything, I just smile weakly. Everyone was abnormally quiet, I just inched by until I was at the fridge, and grabbed the bottle of water before leaving. I see my mom looking at me, concerned. I give her a smile, a different one than I gave the others but she still doesn't buy it.