fifty four,

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"Could've fooled me."

"But I didn't?"

"You never do anymore."

"Should that be concerning?"

"Take how you want it."

"You seem depressed."

Renjun sighs, putting his spoon down and turning to look at Yukhei, who's sitting down in front of him. They're both eating breakfast at their little table, and it's been two weeks since he's last spoken to Donghyuck, Jaemin, Jeno (earlier this morning still burns fresh into his mind), Mark or anyone really. Anyone who wasn't Yukhei. It was kind of hard to ignore the person you live with after all.

"I'm not," Renjun sighs again. "I'm just tired, I guess."

Humming, Yukhei nods, before pouting and slumping his shoulders. Renjun notices that it's something he does often nowadays, normally when he wants sympathy or some sort of attention. Renjun doesn't like how he falls for it every time.

"Did it really not surprise you? I tried to be really quiet about it and even woke up earlier than normal." The elder boy complains, twisting his fork around aimlessly in his food. Renjun doesn't know why Yukhei opts to use a fork to eat rice instead of a spoon, but he won't be asking him any time soon.

"Yukhei, you've been making us breakfast every Wednesday for the last four months," the younger boy sighs, a little smile pulling at the corners of his lips. Yukhei's lack of memory was somewhat endearing. They have had this conversation before, after all.

From where the bigger boy is sitting across Renjun at the table, he smiles triumphantly, pumping a fist up in the air. Renjun simply cocks up an eyebrow, confused about what Yukhei was suddenly so happy about.

"You're smiling," Yukhei simply says, going back to enthusiastically eating his breakfast. "I haven't seen that in a while."

Taken aback, all the younger boy can do is blink owlishly at Yukhei, who pretends like the last three minutes of their interaction didn't happen.

The next thing he says however, is stupid.

"You're keeping track?"

Yukhei slows down his chewing, seeming to ponder over Renjun's words. The latter knows that he's just doing that to draw out time and keep the younger on his toes, but he doesn't complain about it. He'd rather like to hear what Yukhei has to say about his comment.

"Yeah, I am. Is there a problem with that?"

——

"I'm warning you," Mark says, placing both hands on Donghyuck's shoulders.

"About what?" The younger asks. Mark squints his eyes, vision zeroing in on Donghyuck's cheek, and the latter wants to slap his shoulder and ask him what the fuck he's doing, but decide against the first part. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Glaring a little at Donghyuck's choice of words, Mark clears his throat and looks back into Donghyuck's eyes, the same expression he wore earlier coming back onto his face.

"I'm warning you."

"Mark—"

"Jeno and Jaemin went out today to the bakery a block away to pick up breakfast." He continues, finally getting to the substance of whatever he wanted to talk about. "And Jaemin texted me saying that Jeno might be in a sour mood because they bumped into Renjun for a few seconds while at the bakery." He finishes, seeming way more serious than he was when he started this conversation.

"Jun?" Donghyuck asks quietly, the name still bringing him immense guilt. When Mark nods, the younger sighs and walks away from Mark, flopping down onto the bed instead. "Way to bring the mood down, stupid."

Mark scowls, Donghyuck can't see it, before he throws himself on top of the younger, not caring too much about the fact that he could've broken something.

"I love you~" Mark sings, resting his lips against the shell of Donghyuck's ear. His hot breath tickles the younger and he can't help but squirm at the feeling. Before Donghyuck can reply though, the door opens and in come Jaemin and Jeno, paper bags in tow.

"Hot sex," Jeno comments, as he normally does whenever he spots anyone in a compromising position, but Donghyuck understands what Jaemin meant when he said Jeno might be a bit sour after their encounter with Renjun, from how dry and emotionless Jeno's voice sounds.

Donghyuck decides he wants to fix that, so he all but throws Mark off of him (but it's fine because Jaemin tends to the fallen boy), before making his way over to Jeno. He was still taking off his shoes when Donghyuck gets there, so he doesn't wait for Jeno to take off his shoes, oh God no, he just attacks Jeno with a hug, squeezing the literal life out the older boy.

"Hey baby," the younger greets, putting a hand up Jeno's shirt and rubbing at the cool skin of his back, in what he hopes is a comforting way. "You're cold. Do you want a sweater?"

Donghyuck can feel Jeno nod against him, but he doesn't move until he gets the verbal response.

"Yeah," the elder croaks out. Donghyuck then waddles the both of them to his closet, because he didn't want to let go of Jeno, before fishing through his clothes quickly and finding a red hoodie, only detaching himself from Jeno so that he can dress the other in it. He proceeds to wrap his arms around Jeno again, waddling them to the bed and collapsing on it. Donghyuck with his back flat on the bed, and Jeno koala hugging him from the front.

"Donghyuck?" Jeno mumbles lowly, keeping his head down and voice muffled. Donghyuck just hums in response, indicating Jeno to continue. "I feel horrible."

Donghyuck tenses for about a fourth of a second, but he quickly wills himself to relax when he realizes that he shouldn't worry about himself too much right now. Jeno is the one who needs to be comforted, and Donghyuck will gladly give it to him.

"Why?" It's a simple question, one word, three letters, but Jeno still finds it hard to choke the words out, and hates himself for how he feels the sting behind his eyes and the way his throat closes up.

"Because..." Jeno starts. "I never liked Renjun that much, because I thought he was gonna steal Nana from me."

Donghyuck doesn't have an answer for those words, he's never known about this, and he has no clue if Mark or Jaemin know about these feelings of Jeno either. But he doesn't say anything, just lets the information sink in and pats the elder's back to let him know he can continue.

"But that was stupid of me, because he wasn't pinning over Nana..." He continues, still not looking up. "He was in love with you, and I treated him like shit for no reason."

Hearing Jeno say those words don't make Donghyuck the happiest person alive, but he swallows down his own words in favour of listening to Jeno go on. The elder isn't normally someone who spews his guts out like he is right now, and Donghyuck isn't going to waste the opportunity.

"He's been hurting and I could've helped," Jeno cries a bit, Donghyuck can feel the wetness on his neck. "He's been hurting and I could've been nicer. I've just been a jerk."

Donghyuck wants to tell Jeno that it isn't his fault, that he didn't know and that there was no way for him to know, but he can't find it in himself to use his voice.

So he just holds Jeno closer to himself, and gives him the physical comfort he can provide as he softly cries into his neck.

Donghyuck's at a loss of words, and he feels horrible about it. The one time he gets the opportunity to be there for Jeno, to be Jeno's rock, he doesn't know how to.

Perhaps it was a spur of the moment sort of thing, but Donghyuck finds himself blurting out the only true and sincere words he can choke out in this situation.

"Don't cry Jeno," the younger says softly. "I love you."

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