The Potions Master

fifтутшо: excellent job

I could feel everything he saw, he was evading every nook and cranny it felt like. He could see me smiling with my friends, he could see me staying after school with Severus. He could see me crying when I was at my worst, he could see me studying, he could see me with harry, with Draco, my friends. He could see me laughing, living, loving my life. And soon, he pulled out of my head. I felt safe, because although he saw my good side, he somehow managed to stay out of what I didn't want him to see, perhaps it was my occulemency lessons. But now... it was to see how he felt. Hopefully he didn't see too much.
I held myself up on the long table and heaved, still in my own state of shock, I ran a hand threw my hair and turned to meet the Dark Lord's eyes, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at Severus with a raised eyebrow, well, he didn't have eyebrows. But if he did, it'd be raised. He didn't see what I hoped most he wouldn't see, did he?
"Severus, tell me why you're teaching the girl occulemency, I didn't order you to teach her that". He questioned in a somewhat venomous tone. I froze up, afraid, but Severus seemed so calm, not at all unnerved. "I suspect that Dumbledore is suspicious of her, I just wouldn't want him to interrogate her unprecedented". Severus replied with a soothing and knowing tone. Almost as if he knew the answer to every question the Dark Lord had. He was such a good double agent, it almost made me question it. The Dark Lord nodded and then turned to me with a new grin. He chuckled throatily. "Good, very good my girl. It is so maniacal to know that you're befriend Harry Potter, is that to allure him as a trap for me?" The dark lord asked with a toothy smile and ran a hand threw my hair. It was astounding to me how he was so easy to trick, somehow. I nodded a little and wiped my under eyes of the wet stained tears. "Such a brilliant minded girl". He chuckled again seemingly fond of me. "A true Slytherin, do not worry girl, I'll refrain from killing any of your friends". I nodded eagerly, remembering that Anthony was on the floor just a few meters away..
"I'm sorry about that one though". The dark lord shrugged uncaringly. "No matter, what did I call you here for again? Right. Severus, you, and the girl. you'll both be going to your house Severus. On Spinner's End street, Bellatrix awaits you at your home". The dark lord continued without another thought. "My Lord, may I ask why she's there?" Severus asked in what sounded like a curious tone. I sniffled trying to stop crying, knowing if I kept going on, the Dark Lord may begin to question my loyalty and my vulnerability. "She has just escaped, I'm sure you've read in your morning paper. I know you like to read, and she has been hiding out there for the past few hours as it was her last resort, if you'd escort her here for me". The Dark lord explained whilst adjusting his robe. "Miss L/n, she has school. Should she not perhaps stay?" Severus inquired, sounding a bit eager. "No, the girl needs more training, not too mention. From what I'd seen in her memories, you're quite fond of her, aren't you?" I froze up, he didn't see.. that... did he? The dark lord chuckled, and I looked at Severus who almost seemed as frozen as I did. "I don't mind if you have a liking for the girl, just don't let it get in the way of your work". The dark lord continued without another thought. Severus nodded unsure how to respond. "But may I ask, aren't you a little old for her?" The dark lord said in a teasing tone whilst grinning at Severus. I felt strange in the conversation, the dark lord always talked about me as if I weren't really there. Or statistically never did he ever directly address me.
Severus immediately put on a face and continued with his character. "It's always the ones like her who like a matured man my lord". Severus put on a smirk that I had never seen from him, I knew it was a front but it felt so creepy hearing that from him. The dark lord only seemed giddy and amused by that. Severus seemed to know how to make the Dark Lord weak, with his own charming allure. "Y/n wasn't as innocent as I'd thought, and you, hehe, didn't think you were into such scandals Severus". The dark lord chirped, before putting on a serious face. "Anyway, both of you, please be on your way, you have a job to attend to". He whisked us away with one wave of his hand and we left out the door. Of course, I felt unnerved and still quite frozen, so Severus had to snap me out of it and drag me along by my wrist. He didn't even inform to me before he just blatantly apparated us away. By the time we apparated back to Hogwart's I had fell to the floor from panting so hard, almost gagging. I hated apparation.
"Pick yourself up". I heard his voice seethe at me, before I could do very much he grabbed me by my arm and yanked me to my feet, glaring down at me and forcing me to face him. What did I do—
"Did you forget how to use occulemency or were you hoping to die?!" He yelled at me, his eyes so angry and infuriated. "I-I—"
"Have you any idea what you could have just done?! Both of our lives could've been taken, then who'd be my replacement for this war?! I'm not just any double agent!" Severus yelled at me, My eyes already being previously swollen from crying about Anthony, I could feel the tears coming back. He never yells at me like this.. It felt even worse that I deserved it.
"You idiot!" He turned away from me and ran a hand threw his hair seemingly stressed. "I-I was trying— b-but he just evaded m-'y head a-and—"
"You aren't trying hard enough! It is unbeknownst to me how on earth you're a slytherin". He continued on, pacing around, his figure tense. I felt the tears stream down my cheeks and I held myself, trying to not break down. I stood frozen and painfully stiff, the lump in my throat only getting bigger and bigger. He was refusing to look at me, I felt so sick with myself. I wiped my eyes and turned away, I didn't want him to look at me, I couldn't bare to see those loathing eyes..
His words felt like knives, and his narrowed slits felt like a bullet wound, I couldn't look at him. "I was.. t-trying". I croaked out, a shattered voice. "Obviously not trying enough that you'd let him see even a smidge inside your head".
I felt myself crack. I whipped around and faced him, before pushing his chest and glaring up at him with tear filled e/c eyes. "I didn't let it happen!" I fought with a glare. He looked almost taken aback but he let his eyes re-narrow into a glare. He grabbed my right wrist and held it up high, pulling me close and into his radius, making direct intense eye contact. "If you don't start actually trying, you can kiss your life goodbye. Mudblood". The last word was quiet and more of a comment to himself, he let go of me and huffed before turning away from me. I continued to look at him, I felt myself almost break into pieces on the inside. I just stared, looking at him. "How.. dare you". I whispered, wiping my own eyes. He turned to face me once again. "Just follow me, we need to go speak with Dumbledore". Severus tried to casually speak, his voice much softer. I furrowed my brow and glared at him. How could he say such a vulgar vile thing, to me? I poured my heart and soul to him, and I mess up once, which didn't even affect anyone, and he treats me like this?..
I just stared at him, and I watched as his shoulders became low and he could finally see the pain in my eyes. "You know I didn't mean that". He trailed off, trying to slowly take a step towards me.
I took a step back, my hands shaky and my knees weak, my head spinning from the pain. I nodded no. "I don't think I do". I muttered weakly, my voice just above a whisper.
I nodded no and more tears fell down. I whimpered a bit, trying to stay calm, I felt so sad, so hurt, so shattered, and my heart hurt the most. "Y/n...." He started up, trying to use a sweet tone, coming close to me, trying to gently grab my hand but I flinched away. "Don't... don't touch me". I whispered quietly. "Don't be like this". Severus murmured. I glared up at him suddenly filled with rage.