Ravenwolf's Rose

Ravenwolf

This is the first time I have ever lied to Rae...

I relied on her a lot, looked up to her artistically, and always looked for her when I needed to share anything I was going through. Now I wouldn't be able to share to her what was happening to me. I needed to keep what was happening at Ravenwolf a secret.

I didn't know how long I could keep this up. An entire year could very well be a century.

"Why does your aunt want you to move back in with her? Your commute will be longer."

"She said it would only be for a year."

"A year is a long time."

"Not in the long scheme of things, if you think about it..."

"But why?"

"Rae... I didn't want to ask her any more questions. I think it's because she wants someone to take care of her plants. She's been going on longer business trips lately. She doesn't trust many people. You know how she is."

"That woman doesn't have a kind bone in her--"

"Rae."

"What? It's the truth..."

I felt a twinge of guilt in my gut. It was the only excuse I could find for Rae not being able to visit me in my apartment. Even if I 'moved,' she would want to visit me, and hang out as usual. If it was my aunt, someone she didn't get along with. She would prioritize seeing me. Ask me to come over to her place.

"I won't ask any more questions then, but still..." Rae leaned in to hug me, "don't let her... you know what I mean, right?" I nodded and smiled. I pushed Rae back lightly and cupped her cheeks in my hands. Rae smiled at me and I giggled.

Later that day, after a few of my classes, I went home to pack.

There was only one day left before I moved into that place. Only one more day.

I tried thinking through it over and over again. Even with having more time away from that intimidating environment. I thought I would grow more detached from what was at stake. But anytime I hesitated, I remembered the old man's words. I thought about what would happen if I didn't go through with this. My life would be relatively normal.

When I thought about what I would bring to that mansion I didn't think I wouldn't fit in. I didn't own any extravagant, elegant, or expensive pieces. I didn't have any trust funds in my name, no vacation homes in Dubai and Palm Springs. I didn't own a sliver of gold. I didn't ride in an expensive car. Instead, I had hand-me-downs, a single stamp in my passport when I went to Mexico a few years ago, and a few thrift-shopped rings and necklaces. I also certainly rode public transportation most of my life, and wouldn't dare of dreaming of wasting money on more than one home to lounge in.

Aside from clearing my student debt, I had no kind of comprehension of what I would begin to do with that kind of money. It seemed too much of a ridiculous amount in the first place. I sighed. 

After zipping up one of my suitcases, I looked out at the side window. I walked over to it, watching the bustling street below me. I wouldn't see this view as often as I would like. I turned around, looking at my small apartment.

I wouldn't be able to make waffles in the same space. Spill tea accidentally on the floor while on my way to the couch.  I wouldn't be able to complain to the landholder about the heat in the winter or the showers going cold too quick (not that I would miss that for a year). There were little memories in different corners in this house.

I stood a little higher and decided to let it all wash away for now. I approached my bedroom again and continued to pack.

***