Ravenwolf's Rose

Hazel's Past Revealed...

It was like I was trying to swim up to the surface in my mind.

After all this time I spent at Ravenwolf I was reminded of a warmth I thought I had lost.

I had Rae, who supported me endlessly... but after having been around that family for quite some time, I had realized it wasn't just the Ravenwolf's who were mending and healing some broken pieces in their hearts, but that I, too, had been as well.

I clenched my other hand into a fist... and I suddenly felt calmer.

I wouldn't continue to live like this. I wouldn't let her do this to me. Even if I couldn't forgive myself for what happened in the past. I couldn't leave without saying something.

"I'm sorry..." I walked over to the side where my aunt was staring. She seemed a little frazzled by my sudden movements. She tried turning away but I followed her gaze.

"Why can't you look at me?" at that moment she closed her eyes.

"What did you just say?"

"After all these years I can understand why you would consider me a burden... since I know what happened was my fault... but..." I closed my eyes and then turned away from her, doing my best not to let tears fall down from my eyes. Before I left the room, I heard her call out to me.

"Hazel..." I slowly turned to see she had risen up from the bed a little. There was some silence between us.

"You... remind me of my sister..." I stared blankly at my aunt, who was looking a little paler and weaker than before. I didn't realize how much smaller she was... I used to think she was so intimidating as a child. But now, she was just an ordinary woman sitting in front of me.

"What?" I asked and my aunt looked at me. Her eyes were cold.

"I thought over time I would be able to forget, but you kept reminding me of her... everything you did reminded me of her. Can you understand... how difficult that would be for me?" my aunt then lifted her hands up and held them to her forehead.

"You lost a sister that day... but I also lost my mother. Someone important to the both of us died... but you decided to treat it as though you were the only one hurting."

I didn't mean for my words to cut deep but she looked up at me angrily.

At that moment I had a sudden realization...

Mom, you would have wanted better for me...

You loved me with all your heart and soul... and I didn't deserve this.

Either did my aunt... but we would be at a crossroads for the rest of our lives.

"That night changed both of our lives forever... but you know what I've realized?" I looked up at her and said: "I have found many reasons to keep living... despite the pain the I feel..."

She then looked ahead of her, unmoved.

"You can... put someone else on your emergency contact list... and Aunt Lydia... I wish you well..."

I turned one last time to see that she had been staring out of the window again...

When I left the room and exited the hospital there was a large gust of wind that circled around my body... when I looked up a blinding light was escaping from behind a cloud... I smiled to myself... there was sorrow inside of my heart because I could never go back and change the past... but I felt a little lighter inside.

Even though spring had arrived, it was still chilly so I shivered... I didn't put on my jacket when I left... so I could only chuckle at my forgetfulness.