Iman Martial has a troubled past, and being sold and auctioned doesn't make it any better. Being used and sold for other enjoyment, she gets sent back to the place that once sold her. Now, a new woman buys her, so what could happen next.
What happened earlier this morning was absolutely scary for me. It wasn't because of the movies we watched yesterday or the weed, it was just pure thoughts of my past. I didn't mean to hurt Alina in any kind of way. My brain just create or conjured up these nightmares in the midst of a good dream.
Normally when I had these type of out bursts or actions like that my previous owners never cared for me. All they did was yell at me, and called the guys up to straighten me out in a way. I was punished for having these breakdowns. I never understood why I would get punished for it, but I didn't want to take the chance with Alina. No matter how good she treats me, I'm still scared on how she is going to react. I mean I was choking her for god sakes.
Right now I'm sitting at the kitchen table drawing. Alina doesn't know what she is really getting herself into. I'm no good, and her treating me like I am human is no good. Well, I think that. I decided to draw on a large paper to interpret what she is doing. Every time she is around me I feel something different. I feel safe, happy, carefree, but then I snap back into reality and it all goes away.
I've been sitting at the table drawing since 8. Alina does come and check on me almost every thirty minutes. She has a little bit of redness around her throat. I apologized many times but she dismisses it and tell me its fine, but I know its not. I don't want her to be scared of me. I don't want her to call those people on me, and have them to take me back. I'm afraid that she will just give up on me. Its as if my demons have demons and they are trying to fight them. But how can my demons fight of theirs when they are probably worse than the original.
I started to let my mind drift away. I'm always telling Alina stories about my past. Every time I do, she has so many questions or she just enjoys them. All my stories that I have told her were only about how my grandparents treated me. A few fillers of how my parents treated me generally, but in all only about my grandparents. I have questions for my parents and older siblings.
My little sister doesn't have to say or apologize to me. She is the only one I could honestly say I missed. She never treated me like they did, if anything she sneaked to give me stuff.
I feel a presence behind me and its most likely Alina. I'm finishing up the little bit I have left of this drawing. It's a alien hand coming up from the bottom, with two roses in the middle, and a hand coming down it.
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(A/N... This is my actual artwork btw. )
"What does this mean?" Alina pulled a chair up next to me looking at the drawing. I put my signature on the back like I normally do and my initials on the actual drawing and the year.
"Well the shading in the background is acid. A deadly substance. At the bottom you can call it a demon claw or and alien claw, but it represents the bad. The hand above that is skeleton with skin at the top is the blind. This represents either blinded love, or dangerous. The blind/good is putting their hand into acid, reaching for the roses in the middle. Not seeing the danger of the acid, they don't see that claw emerging. If the two meet there is on telling on what could happen. Maybe the claw drags the person down into darkness killing of whatever life is left of that person.
Maybe the hand can pull the rose up and find love. The reason why the rose is unharmed is basically the meaning of love. What is it? What does love feel like or look like? How can a person spot love? Its like its fake, don't need to water it, trim it, nothing. But in many ways you can interpret it yourself. All drawing and paintings can mean something totally different than what the artist thought process about it." I said.
"It amazing that you get some much meaning out of it. What really amazes me is your thought process." Alina now has her hand on my check, caressing it with her thumb.
"The mind is a beautiful and dangerous thing." I simply said. "Its complex."
We sat there in silence for a while. To a point it was comfortable silence but I feel like she wants to say something.
"Do you trust me?" she asked.
"Not really. I question a lot of things you do for me. I don't expect you to be nice to me. The level of things you have done is overwhelming. To you it is not. But for me, in 5 years of this, I never once was treated this way. It comes off odd to me, even though all you are doing is caring for me, but I'm standoffish about it."
Alina Rivers POV
"I completely understand to a point. I never been in your situation so I wouldn't know. I want you to feel comfortable about being here, then be able to freely move around the world." I told her. I know that she doesn't trust me fully.
"It will take time but there is progress." For the first time to today I see a little smile on her. I stood up and kissed the top of her head.
"Well that great. I'm going to be leaving in an hour for a meeting. Then possibly be back later tonight okay." She nodded her head. "Is there anything you need while I'm here?"
"No." she pulled out another piece of drawing paper and started doodling things.
One thing about Iman is that she is very intelligent. Also, she is very passionate about art. I love art, but she really just gave me a whole new meaning to appreciate art. Its like it tells stories without any words. Just how Iman speaks about it seems so deep, and meaningful. She really could have been somebody to a lot of people. Even recognized by artist all over if none of this happened. Maybe something more outside of art.
