Habitual Healing [Soonhoon]

Healing 7

For minutes, the raven-head held the trembling figure in his arms. The embrace tight but it gave a sense of comfort and security for the poor animal, the blonde gripping onto him tightly as though he was afraid that Soonyoung will disappear. Just like that one day, he saw everyone disappear. Lifeless they become, and he feared. It is haunting and he can not run away from that memory. Memories are always so annoying. 

They always make Jihoon feel any type of emotion and he hates it. He wants to feel empty, but of course, it will only last a certain time until he is on the floor. Broken down and defeated, his voice wearing out as he screams into the night. Wanting to be heard from the ones who desire to listen, but no one listens. No one dared to. 

Back in the institution, Jihoon felt the massive pain of being ignored. The first few nights when he was 'saved', he cried into the darkness of the white cage. No one dared to unlock the door and comfort him, but only stayed behind walls. A zoo animal it seems, and the poor animal is calling out to the moon. Wishing a star would drop and help him, giving the light of hope that he needs. 

However, he is silenced.

It is silent. 

In reality, it is quiet. Only nature lets him know that the day is going by, whether it be rain pounding or a wind that suddenly makes his skin shudder when he faces the outside world, it was far too quiet. Nothing is listening. In his own world, he hears many voices. Voices buzzing in his head, and it did drive him insane. 

He hates the voices. 

He doesn't understand why he has them, but he hears them whenever it gets far too lonely. Loneliness slices the thread of his own sanity. 

Stray tears stream down his pale face, his arms tightly wrapped around the neck of Soonyoung's. However, it wasn't tight to hurt the other, but tight enough to know that his own body grew tensed. Afraid to say anything, Soonyoung only brought his hand to Jihoon's hair, his own fingers interlocking into the blonde locks. The sensation suddenly calming down Jihoon as evident in his body tension. Resting his head on the shoulder of the raven-head's, he whimpered softly. 

"W-Would you ever let me die?" whispered the blonde, and Soonyoung was taken by surprise by the question. The answer is obvious to him, but it is unlikely in Jihoon's perspective. Jihoon lost his purpose in life. "No, I wouldn't." Soonyoung admittedly says in a blunt tone, not sounding sincere nor trustworthy, but Jihoon only listened to the soft breathing from the other. He was glad to hear that his own caretaker remains to be breathing. 

Moving his head away from the raven-head's shoulder, he pressed his ear against his chest. The soft thudding of Soonyoung's heart is faintly heard behind the layer of skin, and for a moment, Jihoon listened with drifted thoughts. It is assuring to hear him alive. But, he wondered if Soonyoung would feel the same. 

Would Soonyoung be brought to content by the fact that Lee Jihoon remained to be alive? 

A voice doubted it, then another. It made Jihoon's eyebrows furrow in mere disappointment, listening closely to Soonyoung to avoid listening to them.

On the other hand, the other let out a light sigh as he tiredly graze his fingers along the spine of the blonde's. His touch gentle and the tension within Jihoon's body seemed to relax by every stroke. It reminded Soonyoung of a cat. 

"Why not?" Jihoon asks another question, a question that can be answered with such obvious answers but Soonyoung pursed his lips. His mind pacing slowly by the tiredness, as it is late in the night, usually his brain is shut down during this time. However, he is also unsure on how to respond. What does Jihoon want to hear?