Habitual Healing [Soonhoon]

Healing 10

A stolen breath caught in his throat. His mouth dry and he licked his lips with a certain emotion that could not be described with words. Supposedly, resentment but he felt himself stop breathing for a solid second before his grip tightened around the one he failed. The one he swore to protect, however those plastic promises melted by hell's flames. The word of apology wouldn't fall from his lips, but only moved his head that rested upon the blonde's shoulder. 

For a moment, he finally remembered to breathe. It felt like a pause in his life. A sudden pause, as though the raven-head wished there was a falling star to wish this all didn't happen. All this shit wouldn't happen or can be prevented in many ways. However, his own reasoning seem unjustifiable since Jihoon had been hurt before.

Plenty of times, the poor animal has been through hell and back. He can not form a apology when he fucking swore with such confidence, and it seems like his own heart of gold is melting. Melting by the pain that he suddenly felt as the pang of guilt overwhelmed him, and he wanted to break down crying as he held onto Jihoon.

Countless broken apologies escaping his lips, but no words can form as he felt his own head pulsing in pain. The sorrow causing his head to pound with negative wonders and he could not control the tears that dared to escape. 

Maybe Jihoon should be the one apologizing, but what conscience told him the right thing to do?

He trusted Kwon Soonyoung. 

Once again, he was let down. It had gotten repetitive and he is sick of it.

His mind is twisted enough and blood is all he could think of - the red staining his pale hands, and drip as he anticipated whether it was right or wrong. But, he didn't understand the difference between the two. He couldn't feel a sense of humane as he only thought selfishly, thinking deeply about his own wrath that bubbled within his chest as charcoal becoming ablaze. 

He wanted to hurt everyone around him, and it does include himself.

However, it started raining. A small struck of thunder escaping the lips of Soonyoung's and Jihoon's mind faltered for just a moment, suddenly feeling emptiness. His own anger diminishing as he came to realization. The cloth of his shirt soaked by the tears escaping from the raven-head's eyes and Jihoon knew what was happening, and he didn't know to how to react. It seems like the rainy season was distant, but he can hear the crying. Muffled and soft, and it reminded him of being locked up at home while the weather cried outside.

Lee Jihoon made his Soonyoung cry.

Stunned and only listening to the muffled cry of thunder near him, he listened to them with such high volume but it all felt distant. He never wanted to make anyone cry.

Soonyoung wished he could spill any word throughout his sobs, whether it be small mumbles or a apology among hysteria of cries, but he only sobbed. As though that is the only thing he could do. He forgotten every sense in his body and only let the wash of regret overcome him, gripping onto Jihoon tightly as though he was afraid that he will disappear under his touch. Under his touch, Jihoon can be taken away or leave him and Soonyoung will never let that happen.

He didn't want that to happen.

It was interesting how a bond blossomed very suddenly within days. Spring must of let the flower of friendship grow exponentially, and petals of attachment grew beautifully from the enrichment of soil. However, a spring's day will never have the brightness of the celestial but only be covered by the gloominess of clouds that suddenly turned dark. Purity diminished and suddenly replaced by the serenity of the weather's sorrow or heavy rainfall causing a flood of tears. 

Tears of pain. 

Although, a beautiful organism of a flower needed water - it didn't need the tears of one's pained eyes because of the overwhelming pang.