Habitual Healing [Soonhoon]

Healing 22

"Are you alright, Soonyoung?" Jeonghan's voice said towards the raven-head at the entrance of the shop, an obvious look of distraught painted upon his features. Jihoon perked up from his seat, his low humming coming to a stop. He was told that singing to the plants made them happy. Frowning on hearing Jeonghan's concern, Jihoon emerged from the forest of plants to see the raven-head having a permanent glare. His eyes flaring like a angry blaze, it slightly scared Jihoon. 

Who knew the most optimistic person could look so angry. It always seem like the ones with the kindest hearts tend to be the most sensitive, but also the scariest when thorns start to sprout and anything or anyone willing to touch will get pricked.  

"I'm fine," Soonyoung said with a irritable voice, his obvious exasperation evident in his quivering voice. He seemed like he is going to scream. Jeonghan scoffed, "The last time, I've seen you this pissed is when someone hurt Seungkwan." the older blonde walked over, the two not noticing the shorter lingering in their presence. "Did something happen?" Jeonghan asked, and Soonyoung only shook his head, stubbornly. 

"You should take a walk outside, or maybe-" 

"I am fine!" Soonyoung's quiver has disappeared, and his voice had risen in volume. Jeonghan didn't react nor did he seem offended, but Jihoon jumped by the sudden hostility. A problem is very bothersome with Soonyoung, causing him to be so angry. Jihoon wondered what happened, but he felt a small intimidation of the other. The older blonde didn't press anymore, but only apologized with a soft tone. "I hate to see you upset, Soonyoung." Jeonghan says softly, causing Soonyoung to feel guilty. 

Although, Soonyoung is level-headed with his own emotions, he knows his breaking point and he hates how he can not control it. He admitted plenty of times before that he does have a short temper, but he forces himself to be patient, causing him even more stress. It starts to bottle up, and when it overfills, he knew he will break. It will hurt everything or everyone in his surroundings. 

He came to realization that if he acted like this, he can possibly hurt Jihoon. 

"I am sorry," Soonyoung hung his head low, avoiding eye contact as the anger within his chest start to subside. Gradually, he felt guilty and cautious, not wanting to fuck anything up. If he does, he will hurt someone. He never want to do that. Jeonghan only smiled back at him, his hand reaching up to pat the raven-head's shoulder. "How about you go relax," his soft tone brought a sudden calmness to Soonyoung. 

But, deep down, he felt that blaze. The blaze that wants to spread and burn everything to crisp. He felt powerless, as though something or someone has stolen all his power or had crushed his pride. He wants to renew his pride, but he doesn't know how. It angered him to an extent. He shouldn't have gone to that damn 'meeting' or 'checkup' or whatever they fucking call it. 

But, anything for Jihoon, right? It is a sacrifice he is willing to make. 

A sacrifice that may cost Jihoon's life. 

Supposedly, the weight has brought him to an realization that he can not carry this throughout. Gradually, this growing and bottled wrath will end up hurting someone important as Jeonghan. Whether it be worse than snapping or locking himself away from the world. However, Soonyoung is always one to keep his head high with heavy steps, and a aching back of weight. 

One day, Soonyoung will die because of overworking himself to benefit someone else. 

He will need to learn that his own happiness is also his priority. 

"Where is Jihoon?" 

"Here..." Jihoon speaks up from his spot, the two turning their heads to face the shorter. Soonyoung smiled lightly at him, but Jihoon identified it as a 'forced' smile. A smile that Soonyoung commonly uses when his own world starts to crash around him, and it seems like the raven-head thinks he is alone on everything. Thinking independently, he finally reached a breaking point where he can not handle everything else, anymore.