Habitual Healing [Soonhoon]

Healing 17

"Hyung..."

Red polluted the water as the older brother sat beside the white tub with streaks of red from his younger step-brother. The last time he checked the time, it was barely past midnight and it must be early in the morning now with the rising sun at the number 5. Jihoon couldn't sleep throughout the time, only listening to haunting screams of his step-brother get hurt once again. As much as he wanted to do something, he couldn't fight back the hopelessness that made him glued to the floor. 

Thoughts weighing him down and he didn't know how to fight them off. Especially when he had an urge to hurt everyone in the house, including himself. If he let himself get up, possibly something worse would of happened to his step-brother. His pale, cut up hands washed up the trembling body of the younger. Burnt marks litter along his skin and Jihoon couldn't help but feel the guilt rise, overwhelming his already damaged heart. 

The younger turned to face the blonde with exhaustion, expecting his older brother to respond however the silence lingered much longer. With an exception of the water that became cold and clung onto his body with cold beads rolling down his skin, in result of his trembling body as he ignored the small ache within his fresh wounds whenever his brother cleaned him. Finally, Jihoon hummed back in response as he put away the rag and grabbed the towel for his baby brother to get up from the water. 

Standing from the water, the teen was wrapped up into two towels to fight the cold grasping air within the bathroom. "Are you okay?" asked the boy with ash blonde hair, looking down at his brother only by a few centimeters. It was interesting how Jihoon was older, but seemed to look much younger than his own younger step-brother. "I am okay," the blonde says quietly as he took the last remaining gauze from the medicine cabinet. He will need to stop by the nearby convenience store to get more bandages. 

"I will bandage your back," said the younger and Jihoon turned to face his brother. Although, they weren't related in blood, he developed a perspective of seeing him as his own brother. Someone he takes care of, protect, and look after during the worse and the good of days. However, it is mainly the worst days that Jihoon gets to see his own brother grow up. Grow up in this shithole and end up taking care of himself, since their sorry ass of a mother gave up on taking care of them a long time ago. 

It felt like years that the two been through this hell, but it may have only been a few months. However, with the lack of interaction outside of this toxic home, they barely know what day it is. Somehow, Jihoon and his brother end up educating themselves with books that was left for them to keep since they now skip school. Mainly because they can not leave the house, unless the demon is out. 

But, that is always rare. For the two, it felt like each day has endless hours and there is no new tomorrow. There is no day to call 'yesterday' because they adapted to the routine of helping each other and trying to survive as they are hunted. They are nothing but mice. 

The thought of his own younger brother, Chan, not growing up healthy - emotionally and physically - always put a huge weight on Jihoon's shoulders. He will never understand how Chan is somehow strong throughout this whole situation, but he will take the fault of not being the role model that his brother deserves.

Someday, Jihoon would love to see Chan grow up. Graduation, achieving his dream, a probability of marriage, and having kids - he wants to see his younger brother grow up and become something more. However, it is unfair that Jihoon had to take the role of being a mother and father. 

It seems like the weight upon his shoulders are far too heavy and Jihoon knows he isn't going anywhere with these heavy steps.

Fuck, he is on edge of giving up but Chan remains with a head high and Jihoon can't help but envy him and stomp down his own pride. His little brother seems to be growing up and is pacing himself further ahead from him. If Jihoon looks away for a moment, Chan will disappear on their shared path. He will be left behind and the oldest brother will feel nothing but regret.