Habitual Healing [Soonhoon]

Healing 33

"Hey, Jihoon..."

The silence only responded back and the blonde stared back at him, no sign of anxiety but the raven-head must be the one feeling nervous, instead. It did reminded him of the first day, when the two met. The event reoccurring and it made Soonyoung's heart ache, as he stared back at the blonde. He didn't dress in white but looked like a prisoner, orange now owning him and dark grey is caging him. 

Soonyoung frowned as Jihoon only stared back, not saying a word and he wished he did. He missed Jihoon. All night, he wanted to replay Jihoon's smile and hear his voice, hear the blonde say 'Soonyoung is okay! You came back!' however there is no words to express his own excitement for the other's visit. A rejection in the air and Soonyoung doesn't seem to notice it as he cleared his throat, readying himself to speak. 

He felt awkward for Nora and Joshua standing beside him. 

Glancing at Joshua and Nora, the two understood the message and walked off, a fair distance between the pair and raven-head. Soonyoung leaned forward, pressing his body against the cold metal bars as he placed his hands onto the bars, his grip tight. "Jihoon, I missed you..." said the raven-head, his voice sounding broken and Jihoon looked away. Crouching down to Jihoon's level, despite their distance, he stared back at the blonde with longing eyes. 

"I will get you out of here and we will fix everything, okay? It may take some time... But, I will be here trying to get you out and helping you. In the end, everything will be okay." Soonyoung's words drifted in the air, a silence answering back at the end of his own ramble. Soonyoung wished to hear his lover's voice. "Okay, Jihoon?" he whispered, dreading to hear him as he looked down. "I-I am so sorry..." he quietly said and Jihoon turned to him. 

Expression unreadable, but Jihoon stood and walked towards him. Looking up and lifting himself to stand up to face the blonde he missed very much, "I am sorry this all happened... But, we will-" his own words interrupted by a harsh pain impacting his body, his own body flushed tightly against the metal bars and it made his own body ached. He faced the enraged expression of his own lover, and he remembered the expression from a night he never forgotten. 

The first time, Soonyoung gotten hurt with Jihoon's violent outrage. 

"You think everything will be fucking okay?! You are just like the rest of them, Soonyoung. You are fucking scared of me and I am stupid enough to believe those stupid promises... Those stupid words that made me feel loved! Important!" screamed out the blonde, his grip tightening on the fabric of his shirt. Joshua tried to push Nora away, wanting to help Soonyoung however the female held him back without a struggle. Soonyoung stared back at him, the rage filling the vacant eyes he remembered so long ago. 

Jihoon grit his teeth, "You think I can fucking face you, now? You fucking liar. You lying piece of shit! You should be fucking thanking me!" snarled the blonde, his grip tightening but not hurting Soonyoung, physically. His own tendencies controlled, and his movement isn't frantic for the raven-head to get bashed against the metal bars, which he is pressed uncomfortably against. However, the pain swelled in his heart as he listened to the words of his own lover. 

"I know and I am sorry," whispered the raven-head with a sad smile. Jihoon stared back, noticing agony painting upon the person he loves so much. The one he looks up to, but here he was, looking down at his lover because of his own words. Words piercing the heart he swore to protect and take care of, he can feel the sudden guilt building up and starting to flame his insides. The flames of wrath turning against him, as the self-hatred started to pile. 

Soonyoung didn't notice the tears welling up in his eyes until his vision started to blur and he forced the smile to remain on his face. The beautiful face that Jihoon loved so much and adored since day one. He wanted to apologize, however he couldn't take off the rope tightening around his neck. He dread to hang himself above and hopefully, his own soaring will take him away from the world. Moving away after letting go of his lover's shirt, he turned around and stared at the floor.