Habitual Healing [Soonhoon]

Healing 12

With the result of his best friend being petty, the raven-head decided to lay on the couch while he watched television with a blank expression. Nothing swarmed his mind nor did he register any information about anything from the television, only letting himself slip away from reality for these moments. Usually, he would wake Jihoon up to start the day, however he felt lazy today. It is only a Tuesday and not a Sunday afternoon, but he felt too lazy to do anything productive for now. 

Naturally, Soonyoung is known to keep his life pacing. Filling his days with events since he loves busying himself with a schedule, whether it be a routine he has adapted to or adding a random event last minute, he ends up speeding the day. He lives a paced life. But, with Jihoon, he became more diligent with his own schedule. Focusing on the blonde's life than his own. 

Surely, he could have the blonde living the same life as his, however he respects differences. He remains unsure if Jihoon wanted to explore since the blonde never spoke any of his personal interests or his goals in life. Well, that must be someone's mindset when they find no purpose in life. It is understandable, but Soonyoung will get in his own way to let Jihoon experience anything. 

Whether it be a rollercoaster or even meeting any of his favorite Disney characters from Disneyland, he will somehow bring Jihoon one day. Of course, Soonyoung isn't rich nor does he obtain easy profit and he does has his job to observe Jihoon's behavior, but he would love to let Jihoon explore. Supposedly, show him the world whether it be the biggest or the smallest of things. Throughout his years, Soonyoung learned to appreciate the smallest of things. 

Nature is fairly large, but isn't always appreciated as it is easy polluted and trashed by the selfishness of humans and economic development. However, Soonyoung learned to appreciate the world as natural it is. In a way, nature reminds him that the world remains to hold a beauty for anyone to admire. Any day and anyone can look outside or walk out the door to enjoy nature. It is a small thing that people can seek, but a thing that holds a great importance. 

A sigh left his lips and he reached for his phone from the floor beside the couch, checking his messages. Seokmin didn't respond and it has been over 5 minutes, usually his best friend would respond after 5 minutes due to being on 'read' for 5 minutes or he is most likely doing something more important than accompanying the bored raven-head. Although, he is bored, he still felt a sense of laziness. His body wanting to slump against anything comfortable and wrap himself with cotton blankets, then for today, he will let the day pass by slowly. 

Supposedly, it is his emotional health affecting his energy. Surely, yesterday is a breather but healing doesn't happen overnight. He is thankful for the resolution and Jihoon speaking to him on terms where they could resolve, but he still felt tired. For the past days, maybe he drained himself by distracting himself from the pain that weighed in his chest. Slump shoulders and dark eyes, he did reach the light at the end of the day, but it remained to be dark for him. As though the pain has blinded his own eyesight. 

It was only a sense of hopelessness he felt when he let himself painfully experience a sense of failure. The failure that ruins his pride, his crushed self-esteem burnt to ashes as the hell he had built for himself had captured him and burned him alive. With a heavy weight upon his shoulders and trembling knees with small steps, in the end, he will eventually grow tired. 

It was this simple feeling he felt by the time he stop in his tracks during his journey of moving on with life. This day is where he let himself rest emotionally and physically. 

Turning off the television, he sat up and ran his fingers through his messy bed hair. Strands of soft hair messily defining gravity and standing from the comfortable couch, he decided to enter the kitchen and check if he needed to do any grocery shopping. Checking the pantry and a empty fridge, he never felt disappointed as he stared at the empty fridge. He never liked empty fridges.