CHAPTER 33

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Jennie's P.O.V.

After some days, we Jimin often see eachother and speak with eachother. Eventhough he doesn't notice, I am at some point avoiding him...

We have been busy for both our tours and they have more double schedules. While us, we are busy preparing for other schedules coming. So that made a reason for me so that he won't be noticing I am avoiding him. I know it hurts him when he'll know, but I hope he understands.

In the very first day, I knew right from the start that it's wrong and different. I am only making myself more troubled and I even hurt another person. I should've just leave him alone or maybe made it all stop, but now it's too late.

I've done so much, I hurt him silently and cautiously withput him knowing and all he thinks is he's happy he has me and thinks I love him the same way.

Yes I love him. But differently..

He's been so good to me, done so much for me and made me happy.

But I didn't...

I have hurt him so many times, he doesn't notice it and it hurts me so much that he's so nice to me. That he never notices everything.

I just don't understand but why do I end up hurting everyone?

I hurt Jimin.

I hurt Jisoo.

I hurt my own group.

I hurt my family.

And I hurt him.

Without them noticing it.

Eventhough I didn't mean to.

And it's sickening,

Hurting me everytime I hurt someone else.

Cause all my intention was to be happy.

With all them feeling the same way..

I am selfish,

For only thinking of my happiness.

For only thinking of myself.

All along I only thought of myself...

Cause I thought I was unhappy.

And lonely.

But the truth is,

Me myself,

Is the reason I feel alone.

Cause I keep it all to myself.

I am being selfish.

While everyone else is by my side,

Always...

It's just me who doesn't open up,

Who won't let myself be healed

Making them suffer too..

Why does it all have to be like this??

Tears flow down my cheeks, down to my neck, down and down, making me sink down too...

I decide, they object and I leave they follow. I thought of things, they continue to love me. I want to die, but they want me to live.

They don't want me to live like this, and I allow it all. They wanted me to be happy, while I make them miserable...

What can I do now?

What should I...

Do??

I sink in like a boat, lifelessly and under an ocean of thoughts, I slumber in them hoping I'll never wake up anymore.

I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired

I keep saying this, every single day, every night...

When will I say this til, until when?

I want to dream for a while, hoping I'll never wake up and just...

I am really this selfish.

.............
Jimin's P.O.V.

I was planning to escape and suprise her. I know she's been stressed out and exhausted from all the practices

I am now holding a bouquet of flowers which I bought earlier at a flower shop.

I hope she'll like them..

I stared deeply at them and without hesitation, I knocked on their door. I was shocked to see their manager and just smiled..

"Just for twenty minutes, araso?" I nodded and smiled cheekily. She just shaked her head and went outside.

I directly went to Jennie and suprisingly, she's asleep.

My lips curved into a smile as I sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her beautiful sleeping face. I placed the flowers on the side table, and look back at her.

I brush her hair through the back of her ear with my thumb, as I mesmerise her angel-like beauty.

"Taehyung.."

After her words, my face frowned, my eyes teary and it's like my heart was pierced with millions of small needles, small but very sharp.

And I feel like my heart is bleeding.

I turned to stand but she held me by my arm, making me sit back.

"Sleep with me even if just like a brother.." her eyes was releasing tears, falling down her puffy cheeks.

"You know I am a afraid of sleeping alone right?"

"Taehyung..."

I stare at her deeply as she falls asleep in my arms. I remove her head from my hand and covered her in a blanket.

I'll put an end to this.

Jennie..

But let's finish the week first... and we'll end this...

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