Star-Crossed in Parallel Lines

A Child's Innocence ( Imaginaries #11 )

She laughs hysterically. Im back!

My head perks to the familiar voice. I don't respond.

She sits next to me in the corner of the room.

Don't you miss me?

A younger version of myself. A child. A child... her innocence broken as if someone took her fragile being

And threw her off the edge to rot.

You're here again to-

Not really. I've already told you countless times

That you're a scum

Seeking for attention

Seeking for touch

Seeking for that superiority among others

Seeking for that temporary happiness

You already know

Your fear of being alone

It leaves you numb

No emotions flowing

A body running on

The approval of others

Your not like them.

You smile and laugh with them.

You create memories with them and bond.

But you're more bruised then they ever will be.

An error you can say.

An X on your head.

It should be sickening to me. Every blasted word that's escaping from her puny lips, I know them all too well. But I've been listening to them on replay that

It's been carved on me permanently.

I sigh as my head falls onto my arms. My legs hug up to my stomach, squeezing tight with my arms. An unavoidable feeling. It's returning. It's haunting.

You shouldn't know all this. Stay where you are. A perfect world. Where the meaning of pleasure and lust didn't ever exist to you.

She stands and makes her way in front of me. Crouching to meet eye level with me, her hand reaches for my lips.

Tainted she speaks.

Towards my cheek. Tainted.

To my hair

Arms

Hands

Thighs

Back

Chest

Neck

Tainted once again.

I'm never going back to where I use to be.

She takes my hand as she brought me outside. Nightfall. Her dress dances with the wind, as well as her hair. Her eyes were beautiful and she was frail...

She grew up to be such a mess

A cold-hearted bastard and...

She knows it. She shouldn't have to.

She laughs again.

You don't even think about your friends

What are you? Are you even human?

Your another one of those humans that just eat up food and water that could be spared

For people that truly matter

I look at her with my lifeless eyes.

I mean, you know that already. Her beautiful eyes became bloodshot. She's gone over.

Brave that your still trying. You say your trying to change but yet again

I'm still appearing again and again

To remind you

Of how fucked up you are.

The way she curses as though she's been cursing her entire life. A mini version of myself going completely insane...

She holds up her knife. I don't flinch.

Let me destroy your innocence. The knife pierces her heart as she falls to the ground.

I can't go back to what used to be. The sky decided to cry that night.

I make my way towards the knife. It was heavy. Or maybe it's because I've gotten weaker. The blood washed away from the rain, so it was crystal clear.

I've pondered was it worth to lose my life. It could end this pain and suffering, but where would I go? To heaven? To hell? Maybe they both don't exist at all. Maybe I'd be floating in space watching everyone else.

Should I live? I could try again. I said I would but I never do. This breath-taking world, I've never seen all of it. I've never eaten everything I wanted to eat.

Before I could move, the knife had disappeared before me. Looks like I lost my chance.

The fear of dying is slowly being dominated by the feeling of ending everything as I write this.

You're nothing

You're not worth it

You're selfish

You're everything that the world

Tells you not to be

Just rot in the corner

Your friends should just leave you behind

They're doing so much better in life than you ever will be

They might as well run away from you

You're too much to handle

For some time these words never affected me but they sting

They burn so bad

...

~weeping and bleeding out my frustration...

I'm sorry