Unwanted Allies- Dr. Jonathan Crane Story

What Lies Beneath the Surface.

Lilah was still, her eyes locked onto the desk before her, Victor Zsasz... The man had a reputation and was sent to Arkham when Jonathan deemed him unfit to stand trial. He was a monster. Even more so than she was. 

"Shall we begin?" Jeremiah asked, tapping his clipboard on the desk in order to draw Lilah's attention. Letting her eyes meet his, Lilah smiled, 

"I'm listening." Shifting on his chair, Jeremiah's face changed into one that screamed business as his eyes scanned the clipboard. 

"Alright. First, I would like you to define your relationship with Dr. Crane." Lilah laughed, 

"How predictable." She muttered, sitting back in the chair and crossing her arms over her chest. Her body language was closed off and Jeremiah seemed to smile in amusement at that. 

"Just answer me. You will also help by making your answers clear." Jeremiah said. Lilah paused, 

"I don't know." She answered, "I guess... he could be my boyfriend." Jeremiah watched her for a few seconds before scribbling a couple of notes on his piece of paper, 

"And what would be your main attraction to him?" He asked. 

"That's a stupid question." Lilah retorted, crossing her arms over her chest, 

"So, it's fear then?" He answered for her. His eyes shifted upwards to meet with hers, waiting for the confirmation. 

"What are you talking about?" She asked genuinely. 

"It's quite clear that it is your fear of the man that keeps you by his side... so to speak." Jeremiah spoke with no hint of sarcasm or condescension in his voice.

"That's a lie." Lilah hissed, "I stay by his side because I'm in love with him." Her tone was bitter and there was silence as the words sank in, before Jeremiah gave a small smile, writing down the words she so foolishly spoken onto the piece of paper. Peering over the desk, Lilah caught sight of the words he scribbled down 'Love through Fear'

"For the next exercise,  I'd like to start with some simple word associations. Just tell me the first word that pops into your head. For example, I say.... Carmine Falcone and you say....." Lilah smirked, if a game was what he wanted, she was more than happy to play, 

"Fascist." Jeremiah smirked, he knew the fun had only just begun. 

"Day." He said and Lilah smiled back at him. If he wanted to play a game, she'd play. 

"Wasted." She answered. 

"Love."

"Overrated." As she spoke, her eyes never once left Jeremiah's,

"Pain."

"Strength."

"Batman."

"Vigilante." She shrugged. She really didn't have a strong opinion about the man... yet.  

"Christian Sawyer."

"Friend." She smiled, something that made Jeremiah scribble something down. 

"Father."

"Dead."

"Mother."

"Bitch." 

"Zoe"

"Loved" Lilah avoided her eyes softly, now things were getting personal. 

"Floyd Lawton."

"Moron." 

"Mercious." Lilah once again met her eyes with Jeremiah, she had told him they would not be discussing Mercious. She warned him. "Mercious." Jeremiah repeated this time with more authority in his tone. 

"We're done here." Rising from the chair, Lilah turned on her heel, heading towards the doorway, 

"Lilah!" Freezing immediately, her hand on the door handle, Jeremiah's footsteps could be heard walking towards her, 

"Mercious is quite possibly one of the key things linked to your belief that you love Jonathan- to even the insanity itself." Jeremiah smirked, "You don't think I know what Christian is?" Looking over her shoulder, Lilah looked at him,

"What are you talking about?" She frowned at him. 

"He's a substitute for Mercious, isn't he?" Jeremiah asked, "A poor one at that."

"Shut up, Arkham." Lilah snapped a hint of sarcasm in her tone to mask the venom that spilled from her words.

"He's not even close, Lilah. Not even on his best day." Jeremiah told her.  

"You know what?" Lilah began, turning on her heel entirely to face Jeremiah, "I'm not even going to talk about this." She smiled, "Know why? Because I know what you're trying to do and it won't work." Jeremiah moved forward, so that they were only inches apart, eyes locked onto the other,

"You know what, Lilah? You can go ahead and slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Your brother is dead and he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it. So instead of allowing yourself to accept his death, you hide away and try to fill up that hole over and over with men that you soon find to be unsuited for the role you wish them to play... You have dug yourself a hole. Become the very thing you despised. And honestly, It's an insult to his memory." Jeremiah was smiling at her. 

"Okay." Was the only word that escaped her lips as she once again turned her back on him,

"You foolish girl" Jeremiah smirked, "Even now you're avoiding the topic at hand. Right now, we're talking about Mercious. Not Jonathan. Not Christian. Mercious."

"Stop it." 

"It was your responsibility to look after him as the older sibling." He was pushing her and this was not a button he should be pushing. Turning on her heel, Lilah faced him, 

"I do. I looked after him through everything. We are a team... were a team" Lilah's breathing had increased rapidly, "When he was a baby, I had to look after him... our parents were out of town and... it was my job. My responsibility. I didn't... I didn't know he fell from his crib. But I heard him screaming. Just screaming his head off. By the time, I ran to Gotham General, he had lost so much blood, the doctors thought he was going to die. But, I was just a kid. It wasn't my fault. I still remember the look of pure hatred on my mother's face when they arrived...after that... I promised I would look after him. He was my responsibility and I did everything I could to look out for him. Don't you dare lecture me on being a big sister." When Lilah finished, she found herself numb, staring straight through the Doctor who stared at her in silence, 

"How many people have you told that?" He asked, 

"One." Lilah answered, hoping that Jeremiah understood her meaning.

"Mercious is gone." 

"That's enough now." Lilah cried back at him, her eyes were now burning, "I've spilled my sob story now leave me alone! You are achieving nothing. All you're here to do is torture me a little so you get to feel like a big man" She snapped, but Jeremiah kept going, kept pushing.  

"You can't just deny what that boy did to Mercious. You have to accept the fact that Mercious is dea-"

"I know!" Lilah screamed at the top of her lungs, her words echoing in her head and the tears rolled down her face, refusing to stop, "It's my fault." She sobbed, "I should have... I should have done-" She tried to continue but nothing but sobs came from her lips. Lilah could not remember the last time she had felt this pain, no, that was a lie. The last time she felt this pain was when her father had died. Her chest felt like someone had slammed a hammer onto it over and over, breaking everything into little pieces, her eyes were blurred from the tears and her throat burned from the sobs that continued with every broken breath she took.

Jeremiah Arkham had broken her. He had played his game and won; twisted the rules into a sick game of how long Lilah could pretend not to feel a damn thing. The facade was gone. The dream that Mercious was alive and waiting for her was shattered and in that moment, Lilah was left infinitely and utterly alone.