Peter Parker & Tom Holland Imagines

silence pt.1 {p.p}

Noise, like voices of people in a crowded room all clamoring for my attention. It sends my head throbbing with each layered syllable. Stars burst and dance across the back of my lids as I press my palms to relieve the pressure behind my eyes.

The words grow louder as the episode rages on in full force. I nearly collapse on my knees under the weight of it. Yes, as the Noise grows, so does the Darkness. It's the best name I could come up with for the harsh, gravely voices that echo the thoughts of people with dark, greedy, criminal hearts.

Pretty, want, take, knife. It's simple words that never construct sentences, but always seem to paint too vivid a picture. Everything starts becoming foggy under the haze of Noise until all that occupies my mind beyond it is the one thought—one consuming need for silence. It takes over as I slip on my belt and jacket, which are all I really need to accomplish my goal.

I know that I should call Peter. He has been the only escape I have from the constant, bombarding sound. For some reason, no one else can provide me the peace, understanding, or quiet I need. Only Peter has been able to help me since it started.

It's been three, excruciatingly long months since the Blip that brought us back. I wish I could say that it all worked out and went back to normal. Except, it went the opposite direction. I came back with enhanced abilities, found out I lost all control of my abilities, and then was told that my mentor died in the final battle too. It was like the whole world shattered.

Want. Take. Quiet. Hurt. Blood. The words ring through my head as the city seems to cluster the farther I walk. My head pulses with every syllable, each one another wave of pain building and building the closer I get. The mere thought of another episode makes me pick up the pace and try to make a call with shaky fingers.

Except, the Noise grows too loud before I can. It drowns out everything else and paints the world in shades of red. "Y/N?" A panicked voice calls sounding miles away before uttering a string of curses. "I know you probably won't hear this, but I am on my way. You're going to be fine."

The words are lost as the Darkness becomes strong enough to overtake my mind. It's the telltale sign that tonight's target is near. My fingers instinctively reach for the baton, and wrist flicks to extend it.

I can feel it becoming stronger as whoever is tonight's source of Darkness is nearing with every step. Sure enough, at the mouth of an alley, there stands a burly man with his face mostly covered in shadows. A horrifying smile dances across the edge of his lips at the sight of me, but it drops the second he notices the trademark jacket and baton in my grasp.

"My, my, my, what is a greasy criminal like you doing out all alone this late at night?" I taunt with a voice that doesn't sound like my own. "Don't you know how dangerous it is?"

The man's eyes widen in utter terror and dart from my face to the baton wrapped loosely in my grasp. "I—I don't mean any harm. Please, just let me go."

"Huh?" I click my tongue. "I wonder how many times people have begged you to let them go unharmed. In fact, I'll make a deal with you. If you can name one instance where you let a victim go when they said 'please,' I'll do the same."

The man stutters and guffaws as he desperately searches for any answer. "Well, I—"

"I think we both know there isn't an answer. So I'll make a further offer. If you ask really nicely, I might let you crawl instead of be carried away."

"How about neither?" A familiar voice chimes through the alleyway, making the man swivel his head toward the sound. I let out a heavy sigh as I give him a good hit with the baton to knock him out.

Yet, there's still the Noise ringing in my ears. It still pounds and circles in my head, tempting me to continue until he's silenced. "Quiet." I shout over and over as I get in a few more hits before my arms are pinned down by my side. "Let me go. It's too loud. I have to stop it."

"No, Y/N, this isn't you." Peter whispers as he tightens his hold until I'm nothing more than a sobbing mess in his arms. He leans his forehead against the back of my neck and lets out a heavy, grievous sigh. "Breathe, Y/N, please. I know how much you're hurting, but this isn't you. It's just another episode."

As Peter continues to whisper, the Noise slowly starts to fade. Tears spring up in my eyes, and I melt into his arms as a sobbing mess. "I'm sorry. I didn't—I'm so so sorry." My knees collapse beneath me as I try to bite back the sobs as my senses fully return to me.

The problem is, I have no idea what I've done in the past hour. Peter already anticipates the question and turns me so that I'm facing him, "It's okay. We're gonna go back to my apartment, and you're staying with me for a while."

I shake my head and try to push him away. "I can't do this anymore. It's getting worse, and I can't stop it, Peter. Every time the Noise gets too loud, this happens, and I can't stop it. People are getting hurt, and it's just getting worse."

Peter places his hands on my cheeks and forces me to look at him. "We're going to fix this. I promise, and I'll be there with you the whole way. Okay?"

I can't help but smile a little at my boyfriend's care and kindness. "Okay." I whisper softly and let him wrap an arm around me as he leads me back to his apartment. We walk along in silence as tears still stream down my face. "How can you still love me after all this? Because I know I certainly don't. So how can you love a monster like me?"

"I love you because despite everything, you still care, and you're certainly not a monster." His voice and head drop as he continues. "Just because you're changed, doesn't mean my feelings for you have. I just—I just wish Mr. Stark was here. He would know what to do."

I rest my head on Peter's shoulder as we stop outside his apartment. "I miss him too."

"Either way, I promise you—we will get through this." He reassures me as he traces circles into my skin. I sadly smile into his chest and relish in the quiet that Peter's presence brings. And, for the first time since we came back, I feel hopeful that it really will be okay.

Except, I know that the Noise is there—waiting—to take me back and cause more destruction. I just pray that Peter and I can solve this before too much happens.