The Truth Untold

13

The only thing that helped me empty my head was the work and the dancing. When I entered the dance studio, it was as if I had been shielded from reality, as if I had entered a place where reality did not exist. When I danced I forgot my worries and fears, only felt the music pulsating through my veins. And planning our show together with Jill and Mady was a lot of fun. We had already chosen the first songs that would come into question, dance moves that immediately came to mind and it was wonderful to get away from life. Every morning Leo brought me a cappuccino, waited for me in front of the auditorium and even wrote me on Monday evening:

Hey. I know you hate me right now and I don't expect an answer either, but I wanted to wish you a good night.

He made it hard for me not to like him anymore and that he thought that I hated him drove me crazy, but I was too proud to say the opposite to him. I was just immensely disappointed by who he pretended to be and who he really was. And also disappointed by me that I had so quickly gotten myself into something like this.

I got caught on Wednesday. I woke up, my head hurt, my nose was blocked and my neck scratched painfully. Coughing I shuffled into the kitchen where Jessie looked at me with her head crooked.

"Who can get sick in summer," she said in response to my comment that I had a cold and would not come to university.

"I", I hummed. My voice sounded terribly hoarse and everyone immediately heard that I had a stuffy nose.

"Lie down. I'll bring you something to eat in my spare time," she said and I hid in my bed again.

Again and again I fell into a feverish sleep and dreamt strange things. It really hasn't been that fucked up for a long time, I noticed. The click of the front door woke me from my restless sleep and I looked expectantly at the door. My room door opened, but it wasn't Jessie standing in the door frame. It was Leo.

"Oh God," I mumbled and hid my face under my blanket.

"Nop, it's Leo," he explained, probably trying to lighten the mood.

"What are you doing here?", I croaked, the attempts to sound normal were in vain.

"You really sound like shit," he mocked and I wondered if he was serious. If I could, I would have thrown him out of my apartment immediately.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again and looked out from under my blanket.

"When I saw Jessica come to the lecture hall alone, I asked her where you were. She didn't want to tell me, but I can be as persistent as she is. Believe it or not, she told me to bring you the soup as soon as I had time. I took the rest of the day off," he explained with a smile.

He had taken the rest of the day off, which meant he would spend the rest of the day with me. Leo put the bag of steaming soup boxes next to me on the dessert and disappeared into the kitchen. When he came back he had two spoons in his hand.

"Go away", I moaned at him and hid under the blanket again. I looked really terrible and the last thing I wanted was anyone to see me like that.

"You can't force me," he replied and sat down next to me on the edge of the bed.

"I can call the police', I threatened, but my voice sounded so ridiculous that I wouldn't even have scared a child.

"You don't dare," he said and smiled cheekily.

"Sit up, Kathie," he challenged me and I protested.

But Leo got his way and with a lot of grumbling and sulking I sat up, piled up my pillows behind me to a backrest, the blanket still tightly wrapped around me. He handed me a box he had already opened and silently we began to eat.