CHAPTER 36

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Melanie's POV

I had really been crying my eyes out for days now. Sometimes I keep wondering if this is how it feels when the man you love breaks your heart. Or if this is worst.

I felt like filth. The same filth like when he had raped me. When his brothers had a go with me like I were a call girl.

Its not like Derrick hadn't been trying my number for like a thousand times. But I simply ignored him. I know I hate the rapist, but with the way these people warmed their way into my heart with the knowledge that I'm the same girl the manhandled, is breaking my heart. How do people use other people like this.

I sat in my room, deep in thought. More like deep in tears. Again. I am officially a living mess. I go late to classes, don't get enough sleep and ignore everybody like a plague. I'm a shadow of myself right now. And Derrick made me like this.

This was all a game to them. Making me fall for him was all a game to them. Treating me like a virgin Mary statue was all a game to them. My heart never meant a thing to him.

I haven't been able to talk to my son for days now. The normal chitchat between mother and child was gone. And now, it seemed like he missed me, because he slowly came out of his room and stood at the entrance to mine. He knows I'm really say and he has always had a thing or two to say to make me happy whenever I'm in a foul mood. He always succeeds. But this time the situation was beyond him. He stood there staring at me.

When I looked up at him and gave him a weak smile, he didn't return it. But now, I was getting the whole picture. Those times when you know something is fishy and you are too scared to find out because you don't want to get hurt. That's what happened between me and Derrick. I knew he could have a connection. The clues were staring into my face. He rubbed the evidences at my face all the time. He was never too obscure in getting too close to TJ.

But I was stupid. And yet again, the truth rubs itself on my face. I'm staring at the true son of Derrick Jacob. I looked at his eyes and saw Derrick's eyes. I didn't need a prophet to tell me who is the father of my son.

I should have known before now, where TJ got his brains from. His love for art. His ability to err his view and get open on anything not minding the other party. It was all there. Standing right on front of me everyday.

He walked into the room and I was forced to sit up and listen to what he has to say.

"Mum. Are you okay?"
He asked.

I forced a smile. "Of course. I'm fine."

"I know you're not okay, mum. You haven't been able to check the eggs you give me to school and I know that you know I throw them away all the time."

I had to smile at my cute, handsome and smart kid. "I though you hated all my scolding."

"I miss you, mum. I miss all our fights."
He smiled.

Awwn. I laughed.

"I love you too, sweetheart."
I pulled him into a hug.  He smirked and wrapped his arms around me. I broke down even more.

TJ looked at me and reached over to the side table, pulling out a tissue paper for me, dabbing my  tears away. Something I did to him when he was little. Just that recently I found put that TJ rarely cried.

~•°•~

There was a loud knock on the door and I rushed out. I had been too busy with my project, that at first I thought of ignoring whomever it was but when I remembered that it was almost time for TJ to come home, I rushed to the door.

I opened and stood shocked. Derrick was there with his siblings. I could see AJ behind Kendrick.

I rolled my eyes, left them at the door and walked back inside. They got the message and walked inside with me. I have been ignoring all their calls especially Derrick's.

"Melanie."
He spoke first. His voice was one thing that made me shiver. The way he said my name, making my skin crawl all over.

I looked up at him and I knew he was hesitating. " How are you? "

"I'm good. What do you want?"

"You can't keep pushing me away without an explanation, Melanie. We have to talk about this."

"About what? How you all deceived me? Great, let's talk about how you all raped me. "

He sighed. "Mel, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Listen, I can't stand you staying away from me, Melanie. And my son, I have to see him too."

"He's not your son."
I said to him, staring him in the eyes.

He paused. "What?"

"You heard me. He's not your son. He's mine."

He sighed again. I knew it would come to this. I knew it would come to the part where we all have to fight for the right to keep TJ. I knew it would come to the part where Derrick decides to take the boy away from me. I can't lose my son.

"You think this is easy for me?!"
I snapped. "You think I don't know what you want to do now? He's mine, Derrick!"

"Melanie, please stop this. You have to talk to me one day. You can't keep pushing me away. I know this seems like I'm opening old wounds but, let me explain what happened that night. Melanie, please."
He reached for my hands and I pulled away.

"Don't touch me. I feel filthy enough to have let you touch me multiple times already."
I said to him.

I didn't miss the pain that was visible in his eyes. There was no way I could miss it.

"It was a mistake. What we wanted was a stripper, Mel. It shouldn't have been you."
Jamal said.

"Mel..."
Mayor started.

"It shouldn't have been me?!"
I snapped, cutting Mayor off. "But it was me! How can you stand there and tell me this? You all knew that I was a victim of rape. And you all knew what you did. And you said nothing. To humiliate me, I'm sure. Do you know how it feels to move around town with the same men who put me through hell? You all destroyed my life!"

"Melanie, we are all sorry." Kendrick said to me. I turned to him
"It was wrong. But when it happened, we didn't know you were a virgin until...Derrick saw the blood."

I couldn't hear about how they had pushed into me several times. The fact that I didn't die from that incident was a miracle indeed.

"I don't want to see you all near me again. Get out of my house. All of you!"
I snapped.

"Mel,.. Wait." AJ said. "Its not their fault. You have to understand. Its not their fault, Mel. Come on."

I looked at her. She had tears rolling down her cheeks. This was the first time I saw AJ cry.

"I can't do this. When you are tired of staying, you use the door."
I rushed back inside my room and wept.

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Love,
Mireya💕

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