F***in' Arizona

"Hope Is a Bitch" (Chapter 7)

2014

"Hello?" I say answering my phone.

I was hanging out with Maya and Remi and our new group of college friends at a music lounge bar one rainy Friday night. One of our new friends was going to be performing there so we wanted to be supportive. Not gonna lie, some of us were all a little illegally tipsy and in a good mood and just enjoying each other's company.

Remi had come from his school a few hours away to visit for a couple weeks and it was always great for me to get time with him. He was able to extend his visa to include a little over a full year of college in engineering if he attended the university he's at now that has close ties to a university in Ireland, so I didn't have a whole lot of time left with him before he had to go back home to finish school there. So, receiving a phone call in the middle of my fun and "Remi time" wasn't what I wanted.

"We're done. I'm so fuckin' pissed at him Nova!"

What? Who was this?

I try to force my eyes to focus and take a closer look at my phone to see that it was Ari calling me. I hadn't spoken to him since the beginning of last semester. Or at least not on the phone. We exchanged texts every now and then to check on each other, or tag each other in stuff on social media, but other than that, we hadn't really spoken to each other in a good while.
He was always so busy with school, basketball, football and living his own life. He was starting to become more involved with other things over in California and making new friends. The same went for me.

I was also busy with school and life. I had also made new friends and became more involved in my university campus life and doing things around the city were I reside, but I made it a point to always try and check in with him. I guess we just weren't doing enough to stay close to each other.

"Ari?"

"Nova," he says sniffing a little, "We've been dragging out this long-distance thing for as long as we can, but it's just dying out. We can't hold onto each other anymore. He said he met someone else in his lgbtq+ community in New York. Someone who wasn't gonna "hide their relationship" and who was within hugging distance. I don't know how true or not that is though.

We had a big argument and he was upset that I waited until we were away from each other to be out. He claimed that I just wanted an excuse to see new people and was ashamed of him in high school. That I used the long-distance thing as an excuse and an "out" of the relationship. Nova that's not true."

I had noticed Ari's recent indulgence in various types of drugs. Alcohol included. Now, I'm not knocking someone who wants to *drink a little bit, smoke a little bit.... "get fucked up"*, but he had been doing it in excess and his Instagram stories reflected it.
He really needed to be careful because doing stuff like that in excess can really mess up your body. He was also putting his scholarships, placement on teams, and schooling in jeopardy.

I assumed that this was all starting to happen because he was becoming emotional about the state in which his relationship with Charlie had become.

"I know it's not true Ari. You guys are just having a spat. I'm sure you guys will be fine in no time. You haven't been drinking, right?"

....

"Ari? Where are you?"

"Ok, ok, I have been drinking because imma sappy ass dude."

I laugh at his drunkenness. It was nice to hear his voice again and it sends a familiar tingle down my spine to hear the voice that I've missed so much. Even if he is a drunken mess right now.

"Ari, you're just a little sensitive. You have every right to be though. Charlie is very important to you in more ways than one. You're going through a tough time. You'll get through this though. Take the time you need, and then find the courage to move on when you're ready. Or, to try and patch things up.