F***in' Arizona

"I Know You Fuckin' Lyin'" (Chapter 23)

Back in the Park: Present

"You want me to do what!?"

"Beeee my fake girlfriend??"

"I'm sorry. Please excuse me while I clean out my ears really quick."

I open my car door and pull out a napkin from the glove department and stick it in both ears to clear away the nonexistent sticky blockage that I was hoping was there.

"Say that again," I say telling Ari to repeat himself with a look of disbelief on my face.

"Nova," Ari whines, "Will you please pretend to be my girlfriend to my family?"

"Hang on. I know I cleaned out my ears already, maybe I should try concentrating on your lips to try reading them. Ok, start again."

Ari sighs loudly and rolls his eyes dramatically, not finding my antics very amusing.

"Nova. Please. I know I royally screwed up."

"Again," I interject, crossing my arms and leaning back against my car to obviously show my disapproval and distaste in his frequently repeated idiocy.

"Again. Yes. You were the first person who came to my mind. I couldn't say some random name because I knew they would ask about meeting her eventually and I wouldn't be able to produce. My family knows you and they know I used to hang out with you a lot. They know we used to be super close. It was the only logical thing I could think of that didn't involve telling them my secret."

"You know you can't keep this secret forever, right? I know I agreed a long time ago to not say anything and to let you go through this in your own time, but if you're going to continue lying and bringing me into your lies, I don't want to be a part of that Ari.
You didn't even ask me first. We barely know one another now. It's been so long since we've hung out or talked. I have no idea what your life has been like for the last year plus. When they ask me questions I don't know the answers to, what do you expect me to say?"

I stared at Ari to try and decipher if he was being serious with his problematic question he just asked. I could see the little round clear liquid beads of sweat forming on his forehead just beneath his hairline. He was really being legit right now. He's so terrified of the rejection from his family that he is willing to lie so frequently just to not lose his relationship with them and to avoid the disapproval.

"I know that we have lost touch and it was completely my fault. I want to express to you again how apologetic I am. I know that by me asking you this it could cause a rift between you and my family since you were also close to them. I know what I am asking you is problematic and deceitful and wrong of me, but Nova, I'm terrified."

Ari continues to express his worry and grief, but I tune him out. Just from watching and seeing the visible terror on his face, just from seeing his usually relaxed and comfortable body trembling and shaking, just from hearing the 'on the verge of crying' tone in his voice; I already decided I was going to help him. He's one of my best friends and nothing is going to change that. He may be an idiot but he's only an idiot because he is continuing to allow fear to dictate his life.

Honestly, yes, I would be pretty fearful to be in his shoes as well. His family has deep southern roots and come from a place where his sexuality isn't exactly something to cheer about. It's more like, 'hang and burn 'em at the steaks along with the witches and anyone who doesn't look like us'.

Thankfully, none of his immediate younger family had that particular mindset, but there still are family members within their line that are just that ass backwards. I've met his great grandfather on his mother's side and if he wasn't already so frail and decrepit and ready to fall apart if you even so as much as poke his wrinkly-ass crusty skin, I'd be in jail already for deckin' an old guy.