milk. | tbz nyukyu

06.

"hey, hoon. can i borrow your notes? i left mine at home." chanhee placed his palm in front of younghoon, waiting for the notebook.

younghoon blankly looked at him. "bold of you to assume that i even take notes." he said and chanhee just stared at him, irritated.

"just kidding, here." chanhee thanked him the moment younghoon gave him his blue notebook.

chanhee opened the notebook and saw something that made him half surprised and half not surprised: two whole pages of younghoon's notebook contains nothing but 'ji changmin', written in different fonts. chanhee bit his lip. he knew younghoon's crush on changmin is big, but he never knew his crush on him is writing-my-crush's-name-on-my-notebook-like-a-teenage-girl-type of big.

he sighed and just flipped the pages to find the lectures that he's looking for. he proceeded to study, but his mind can't seem to process anything, so he decided to just close the notebook and give it back to his friend.

chanhee spotted the carton of banana milk peeking through younghoon's bag and sighed. looks like the flavor for today is banana. it's already been days since he first gave changmin milk, and he wonders if the boy is already fed up with drinking the dairy liquid.

"are you okay, chan?" younghoon closed his phone and turned to his best friend. "you don't look so good."

chanhee leaned his head on younghoon's shoulder and closed his eyes.

he felt younghoon look at him. "do you have a problem, nyu?"

"when can i stop giving him milk?" chanhee asked but he was met with silence.

"...until i finally had the courage to confess to him." he replied after a few minutes. "is what i'm making you do too much already? if you're tired, just tell me, okay?"

chanhee raised his head and leaned his right cheek on the table. "hey younghoon, what will you do if someone you're really close with likes you?"

chanhee has been thinking; he wants to stop liking younghoon, and just like someone else who can like him back instead. his bestfriend is head over heels for the dancer from the other class, and chanhee knows that right from the start he doesn't really have a chance with younghoon. he just needs to confirm it. he just wanted to know if he really has a chance or not. if not, then he needs to say goodbye to his feelings for the black-haired boy. he had these thoughts since last night but decided to just forget about it, yet the sight of younghoon's notebook made him remember all of it.

"what will i do?" younghoon was taken off guard by the sudden question, and he dazed off thinking about what to answer to his friend's question. "i don't know. i'll probably reject that person's feelings since i like changmin and all... but we can still be friends!"

"right." chanhee mumbled.

"why? do you perhaps like someone?" younghoon asked teasingly.

"nothing!" chanhee forced a smile. "just asking for a friend."

younghoon looked at him, not believing what he just said. "i see."

chanhee didn't have any chance to reply, because the teacher immediately entered the room and began teaching right away. still, chanhee was lost in his thoughts, thinking about what to do now that he was indirectly rejected.

after a while, chanhee finally decided. he wants to stop hoping. he wants to stop liking his friend. it will be hard, but he has to, if he doesn't want to get hurt anymore.