Radha

chapter 12: I want to die

"we are all broken,  that's how lights gets in "- unknown

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In the morning radha found herself on the bed. She was naked and she felt pain,  her whole body was covered with bruises,  markes,  like someone brutally raped her. She tried to get up but she couldn't due to weakness. Suddenly past memories of last night clouded in her mind.  She panicked . It was hell for her,  she finally lost everything , her love,  dignity and pride,  even her innocence. Last night whom she gave everything snatched and destroyed her world. After crying for moments she finally decided to got up from bed.

So she got up from bed & started walking very slowly. She was sore & in very much pain,  whenever she took a step, she felt a throbbing pain. She took several steps and suddenly felt a sharp pain inside her and fell on the floor screaming,  but she soon covered her mouth to muffle her sound.  She wanted to scream , but she felt like something choked her throat, only silent sobs coming from her mouth,  she let her tears fall freely.

As she walked out the the room and sat down on sofa. After controlling her emotions,  she heads towards bathroom and filled the bath tub with water.  After that she slowly placed herself in the tub,  she closed her eyes and one by one every memory of last night coming her mind again. How her husband raped her,  giving bruises all over her body,  her breasts were sore and pain between her legs and lower abdomen..

Whenever she remembered about his touches,  she feel disgusted with herself. She feel extreme repungence when she closed her eyes and remembered his hands roamed in her body with freedom.

She let a loud sob escaped from her mouth.

She felt a strong urge to clean herself to wash away his traces. She took the body scrubber and began to scrubbing herself vigorously like a mad and possed person. She did once,  twice,  thrice and again and again. She felt pain from too much scrubbing but she didn't stop at all. She still feel like dirty.

She felt in her chest and suddenly a sob escaped from her mouth.

" why????  What did I wrong.  I love him,  never disrespect him or his family.  Always did my duties as a wife properly but at the end how could he repaid me like that????  I didn't deserve this suffering. "- she cried.

After sitting a while,  radha some how managed to get up and dried her body. She headed to the room and sit on the sofa. She wore some clothes and went to downstairs.

When she reached there she saw everyone was there sitting there table,  chatting with each other and eating breakfast peacefully.  Ayan was there,  when he noticed her , a smrik was curved on his lips. Then he truned his head and continued on his food. He was giving such expression like nothing was happened bad last night and he didn't did anything wrong, like it was normal and her pain & tears didn't bothered him little bit .

Radha knew he was a monster who cared for nothing except his hunger. She feel disgusted by his presence, & her apptite was also gone after watching his face,  so she decided to leave from there.  As she about to leave suddenly yashoda caught her hand.

" why are you leaving?  Come & sit with us,  I know you are hungry "- yashoda smiled.

After observing her for second she spoke up

" no,  I didn't. "- with that she snatched her hand from her soft grip.

Yashoda felt weird,  as she never behave weridly, she felt something wrong happened to her. She felt a strong sensation in her heart.

" are you okay? "- with that she placed her soft plam on her cheek and caresses her.

" am ok,  I just lost my appetite. Pardon me maa I want to leave. "- with that radha tried to leave the place as soon as possible.