Watching {Vkook}

1💬

WARNING⚠️⚠️
IN THIS CHAPTER THERE IS DETAIL ABOUT JUNGKOOKS RAPE AND THE TORTURE HE WENT THROUGH AND WHAT IT DID TO HIM

Jungkook pov

Its been three years since everything happened but i still cant look in the mirror or look at my scars without crying. We're still in hiding. at first the eleven of us lived in some old womans basement, then once we thought we were semi safe Jin went to town, taking out almost all of his money from savings. He bought a large farm with the money and we had enough for food for about 6 months. once the 6 months were up, Taehyung went into town and took out all of his money left from his mom. that lasted a year and 3 months. nobody else was rich like them so Jin got a job in town, he worked in a kitchen, only 2 other chefs with him. barely anyone at work ever saw him. Seo lived in the barn for the first year, then he moved into Winwin and Jins room on the main floor. Hoseok and Yoongi lived in the basement, Namjoon and Jimin lived on the second floor, across the hall from Taeyong and Jaehyun and Taehyung and i were in the attic. Everyone knew everything about everyones relationship, the walls were thin. I knew that Taeyong and Jaehyun have known eachother since preschool and Taeyong kissed Jaehyun when they were ten and Jaehyun said he was gross and shouldn't kiss boys, Namjoon and Jimin weren't getting along for a little and Namjoon slept on the floor, something about a song Namjoon wrote, Yoongi and Hoseok cry a lot and Jin and Winwin joke alot with Seo. Its really awkward though when two people get in a fight because then they have to ask to sleep in another room. Hoseok stayed with us twice because Yoongi "Needed some space to work" although we all heard the argument they had about not being able to be together 24/7, which i understood, sometimes Taehyung can be a little much but I'd never leave the room, i wouldnt be able to sleep. Jimin stayed with us once, the first night of his fight with Namjoon. Taeyong stayed with us 3 times because of small petty arguments with Jaehyun. everyone had stayed in someone elses room besides me and Taehyung. We'd have an argument and one of us would go downstairs or outside to cool off and everyone would always expect one of us to ask to stay in another room but we never did and nobody ever asked why. Taehyung and I could be angrier than ever at each other, we could threaten to break up but we'd still sleep together and we'd never sleep angry at each other. After eveything we went through i dont think we could. I've tried taking naps without Taehyung there, I've tried going to sleep before he comes up from hanging out or having a shower but i never can. when i close my eyes i think about still being there.

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I think about at first, when i tried to escape and they beat the shit out of me and how i thought i would rather die than be there. Then I think about the way Song touched me, the way i can still feel his cold fingers press bruises into my skin, i can feel his hand around my throat and the ropes burning my skin, I can hear his voice telling me to squeal, telling me to call him daddy, telling me to scream about how much i liked the feeling of his dick. And when i didnt it got worse, he'd bite me till i bled, tighten his grip around my throat and force himself further into me, and I'd bleed. He did this five times that i can remember. it gets foggier after the third time. I cant really remember details. The first was the worst. the way he asked if he was better than Taehyung, The way he didn't care that i was in pain, the way he forced me to do things, the way he'd hurt me. I remember that he smelt like rain, like he came from outside, the way his voice cracked when he called me a whore, the way he left the room, the door slamming behind him, how he came into the room, how he expected me to want it. Then I think about how he left, he left me surrounded in his stench and my own blood. Next is what I wish i could just forget, but I'll always have a scar to remember it by. He hurt me to hurt Taehyung. Taehyungs voice pleading for him not to, Taehyung saying to do anything to him, but to leave me alone. Songs chuckle as he says he'd rather see the both of us in pain. then he presses the cold blade to my skin. He stabs the blade into my stomach and i cant breathe, i dont know how to explain how it felt. He looked proud, a smirk on his face and he dragged the blade across my stomach. it burned, it stung, it felt like i was going to die and i couldnt move. he left small cuts on my body that felt like nothing compared to the one on my stomach. I thought I'd die and I'd never see my parents again. I'd never see Yeontan or any of my friends. I was scared and that felt worse than the cut.

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Then I'd cry, I couldn't sleep and my eyes would shoot open into the dark. my throat would feel clogged and my shoulders would burn from shaking so fast. I'd breathe so fast that my head would hurt and i couldn't feel anything but the throbbing pain in my head and the pain i felt before. all of it at once. The cut, the punches, the hand around my throat, the burning of the rope, everything all at once. and it would continue until Taehyung came upstairs and saw me. then i knew i wasnt there and Taehyung would protect me. He'd gotten me out and i was with my friends. He'd hold me close to his chest, running his hands through my hair and kissing me anywhere he could. So then i stopped taking naps, i stopped going upstairs early and nobody dared to ask about the screams that they'd hear when I'd wake up from a nightmare. Nobody ever asked why, nobody ever asked what happened, and nobody would even think about asking if i needed help. They wouldnt know what to do anyways.

I know this was a pretty graphic chapter but i felt like it was important to bring up the aftermath of rape and the fact that abuse isnt just about when it happens. i am aware this is a sensitive topic and its very important to me. i have three cousins that were sexually assaulted by their moms boyfriend for two years and nobody believed them. I know i may not have gotten everything exactly right but i tried, i talked to all three of my cousins and did like two hours of research. i also think its important to talk about the fact that boys can be raped too. as another warning quite a bit of this book will be about recovery for both Jungkook and Tae. If I got anything wrong and you'd like to correct me please either comment or message me, im always open to constructive criticism.

~Zoey💜