Watching {Vkook}

5.

Taehyung pov

"What the hell? He just bought two fucking horses to make us happy and you do that!? its his own house! and what? you dont like living with all of us? You dont have to then."

Jungkook pushed past me and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

he didnt come back to the room that night.

I watched the door for 6 hours. Just staring, waiting for the door knob to turn and Jungkook would come in. I'd beg for forgiveness, I'd apologize until i couldn't speak. I realized that night how much I truly needed Jungkook. I realized that I never should have said anything. Jin was right. It was his house and his choice. I didnt realize what i was saying as i said it. I ruined it. I ruined everything.

I sat in the bathroom, staring at my reflection. Bruises littered my face and neck. I covered them with makeup. I put on my suit and left. I made it to the church and sat with my father and a few other family members. A man came out and spoke about my mom, I heard people begin to cry but I just felt numb. I couldn't really hear, everything was muffled and I felt a throbbing pain in my head. I went through the funeral without shedding a single tear. I looked into the casket.

it didn't look like her.

they put on dark makeup, something she'd never wear and my father gave them his favorite dress of hers. It was one she hated. She had painted daisies in her hand. She always hated painted daisies. She said that people shouldn't change something already beautiful for themselves. They prayed around her even though she wasn't religious. She thought the bible seemed sexist and rude. She believed there was a god, but not the one everyone talked about, but they still prayed. My father drove me home for appearances. Normally we'd drive separately. We got into the large house and my father immediately started hitting me. I fell to the ground and he kicked me. I couldn't  breathe, I couldn't think, I couldn't move.

"Piece of shit."

"You didn't love her."

"You didn't even cry."

"Fucking psycopath."

When he was finished he looked at me and spat down on me. I wanted to get away from him. I went to my room. I remembered mom telling me about a house when she got sick. I looked to her sketchbook on my dresser. I looked through the sketches of Jungkook and I, the sketches of flowers and anything else you could think of. on the last page there was an adress. nothing else. I waited until my dad was passed out drunk. I grabbed a bag of things and snuck out. I went there. It was fully furnished and perfect. There was a note on the counter.

"For my darling Taehyung. Now that I'm gone I can't keep your father from hurting you. Im so sorry he's like that to you. This house is for you and Jungkook. I left you money in my will to start yourself off. Good luck.
•Mom"

I felt tears fall down my cheeks as i collapsed onto the floor. It finally hit me. Mom was gone. I was alone. I couldn't live without her. I texted Jungkook.

KTH: You asleep?

no answer.

KTH: Im assuming that means yes. So, I'm going to tell you something. I don't know what to do. I can't deal with my dad. My mom is gone. I don't know how to move on. I can't. I'm stuck.

KTH: find me. please. xxx xxxxx st.

I placed my phone on the island, walking upstairs. I found a bathroom, stepping in and opening the cabinet. My moms old prescription sat there, staring at me. I grabbed the bottle.

still full.

I sat in the tub, turning on the water. I stared at the bottle of pills.

should i?

What would mom say?

it doesnt matter. She's gone now.

I took the pills, closing my eyes and waiting for them to kick in.

"Goodbye."

Everything faded away.

"I wish it worked."

I thought out loud, knowing nobody was coming.

"I wish I died then. I wish Jungkook never found me. I wish I had rotted in that house. Alone."

I looked to the bathroom.

"The pills Jin gave me."

I stood up, walking  to the cabinet. I repeated the same process as before. But I never texted anyone. I never made a sound. It would work this time. I'd be long gone before anyone came up. They'd come up because of the water. That would take a while. I looked at the pill bottle, knowing i couldn't hurt anyone again made me glad. Knowing Jungkook would  be able to move on and be happy, Knowing Jin wouldn't have to deal with me, Knowing I wouldn't destroy Hoseoks relationship, Knowing I could never fuck up anything for anyone ever again made me smile. I took the pills. I let the water overflow. I let myself drift to sleep in the water. I was almost gone. Everything was black. I could barely hear. But someone came in the room.

"Wake up... please Taehyung..."

He held my body, sobbing. I couldn't tell him I wanted this.

"TAEHYUNG IS HURT!"

People flooded the room as everything went black and i couldn't hear, I couldn't feel. I felt relieved.

I did it.

It worked.

I felt something. It poked me. I could feel myself breathe again.

I did it wrong.

I waited

I fucked up.

What's wrong with me?

Y'all sorry i made this chapter depressing as hell. Two of my pets died within the past 24 hours and I've been crying non stop so nothing happy can come out of my brain rn. I love you all.

~Zoey💜