𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒 𝕂ℙ𝕆ℙ 𝕚𝕕𝕠𝕝(~Jungkook x Reader)

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I sit in the audience waiting for the show to start; I'm watching as everyone comes in and finds their seats, I'm sat in row two right in full view of the stage, which also means in full view of Jungkook and if earlier was anything to go by, I don't even know now how I'm going to even have eye contact with him.

Okay, so he gave me his number, it's not like I was trying to give him mine, wow that would've been embarrassing, although I would never try and give him my number would I? I mean after all I'm just a fan, just another girl of thousands who loves him for the kpop idol he is. So this whole thing has escalated way too quick and even though this whole situation is like something from the stuff of fangirl dreams I still don't know how to handle it all. plus, I can't even tell anyone to ask for advice can I? God, imagine telling Y/F/N she'd be back quicker than I could breathe to tell me that he's hitting on me and wants to get in my underwear, I internally cringe at the thought of even having a conversation like that. Nope! Not happening! and if I told my sister, I think she'd have me checked into a psychologist thinking I'm making it all up in my head. Nope! I'll not bother telling her either!

As I sit watching people take their seats it's like I can feel the folded paper in my pocket burning my skin, I'm so consciously aware that it's there; what am I supposed to do? Surely even if I was ever going to text him using the number he's given me, it won't be right now, or maybe even for days, weeks okay I'm freaking out again. I take my phone from my bag and the wallpaper is Jungkook, he's staring back at me from the screen and it's like his eyes are drilling into me; "ah you're a Jungkook Stan?" I turn as the girl at the side of me stares at my phone screen, "ah erh yes, yes I am I guess, are you?" I say trying so hard not to trip up on my words. "Yes, he's so hot right?" I see her getting excited and then look up at me, I can't even find it within myself to agree with her, something about it doesn't seem right after he's been so kind and then after how he's just shoved his private phone number into my hand; "erm, he's..." I mumble but she finishes my sentence, "hot, sexy, everything any girl would want" she giggles and I just fake laugh feeling strange. Now it feels like my leg is on fire where the pocket is on my jeans containing the paper he's given me, I have to move, I have to calm down; "excuse me can I pass you?" I ask as I stand and move past her to the toilets, I feel hot and panicky like everyone knows what I have in my pocket and then I panic thinking what if I lose it, everyone has his number. I get to the toilets and lock myself in one of the cubicles sitting down on the toilet lid; what the hell is happening? why is he doing this? why can't I tell anyone? why don't I know what to do? There's too many questions and I have no answers and the times running out before they come on stage, but I don't feel right and I'm sweating I'm so warm. I reach into my pocket and pull out the paper and unfold it; '𝓉𝑒𝓍𝓉 𝓂𝑒? 𝟣𝟤𝟥𝟦****6981**' I run my fingers through my hair as I try to calm down, but this is doing nothing for a fangirls heart, however my fangirling days have decreased immensely ever since Jungkook started messaging me on twitter because it doesn't feel right to fangirl over him anymore even though sometimes like now my heart goes back on overdrive and I can't breathe properly; if I could scream this from the roof tops I would, I'd go back out there into this secret gig and tell every single person in that arena space that Jungkook gave me his number and none of them have it and I hate myself for it.

I've lost track staring at the paper in my hand and trying to calm down and I haven't noticed that the time has passed and it was only one minute before the guys would come on stage, so now I have another problem, because how awkward is this going to be clambering to my seat in the dark when I've just been speaking to them all before and they'll surely recognise me. Too late for that I hear my mind snarl at me and so I stick his phone number in my phone under JK and then put the paper safely tucked in my purse which I stuff back in my bag and then leave the toilets and head back to my seat, yep, it's already dark and I only make it to the front section nowhere near my seat and the guys pop up on stage, great. There's suddenly a steward who works there at my side with a torch pointing towards the row I'm sat on so that I can see to go back to my seat; as I reach my isle I pluck up enough courage to look at the guys on stage and my eyes immediately land on, well who? Jungkook! The problem is, I look at him and he's already looking at me, he's watching me go back to my seat and I can feel his eyes burning into me, it feels like I'm on fire but instead of feeling self conscious, something in me kind of likes it; I see the girls around my seat looking at him and then looking at him looking at me and I feel quite good but at the same time I kinda feel like I might need the ground to swallow me in the next five minutes. "He's just watched you all the way back to your seat" I hear the girl at the side of me again when I sit down and I glance up at her, "what?" I ask as I see her smiling at me like a maniac, "Jungkook! He just watched you come back to your seat, right from the row behind, he watched you all the way" okay I need the ground to maybe swallow me now, I feel myself blush and thank god for it being dark in the arena space. The girl next to her leans forward and smiles at me and I want to die of embarrassment, this is becoming a regular thing I've noticed. "He did? oh, I'm sure he was just.. erm, looking at the audience, he wasn't watching me, I could tell from his eye line he wasn't looking at me as I came back to my seat" I try so hard to convince her but I don't think its working so I change tactics; "he could've been watching you? you're sat right here after all" I smile at her and I see her fangirl with the girl next to her and think she might be okay now.

The show is amazing, the guys are amazing as always and it's hard to believe I've just spent around two hours with them all chatting and chilling before this show, it's completely surreal but it's not as surreal as the fact that after this show ends I could text Jungkook. My mind goes wandering when they're singing young forever; daydreaming of what a text conversation might be like, as I come back to reality and look at the stage my eyes catch contact with Jungkook's again this time I know he's looking at me but he doesn't smile and his stare doesn't stay too long, I guess it makes people suspicious if you keep on looking at the same person throughout a show; when the show comes to an end and they're waving goodbye to the audience he catches my eye again and this time he smiles a small smile right at me and I can't help but smile back. Why would he want to keep looking at me though? I'm nothing special, he can have anyone, why does he want me to text him? again, too many questions, not enough answers.

The show was over far too quickly, I loved every minute despite the awkwardness at the start and the guys were so good it was mind blowing, as I get to my car I take a quick look at my phone; no twitter messages from him, nothing on twitter about him staring at a girl in the beginning, thank god and nothing untoward anywhere. I set my sat nav for the long drive home and wish I'd booked into a hotel down here, but it's too late and so I drive home.

I arrive home at about 1am and want sleep so badly, I'm thinking I can't even be bothered with taking my make up off as I slump down on the sofa exhausted; then I remember I have his number and my heart rate spikes, I can't text him now, in fact when can I? this is weird. I have a look though my phone again; no messages from anyone, no twitter messages, nothing. I thank god and then pass out asleep on the sofa, not even bothering to move to my bed.

I'm woken up Saturday morning not with my alarm but by a text message pinging and waking me as I fell asleep with my phone right next to my head on the sofa; squinting at the brightness of the room light that I'd left on all night and stretching my aching limbs from sleeping on the sofa I can't even remember why I didn't go to bed but then as I slowly sit up it all comes rushing back, I was far too tired after all the emotion and driving the day before. I look at my phone and see the text is from Y/F/N, 'OMG WAS THE GIG GOOD? ANY OTHER DEVELOPMENTS? AND DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN! YOU NEVER EVEN TOLD ME WHETHER HE ANSWERED YOU BACK THE OTHER DAY?!? SPILL WOMAN!' I roll my eyes at her message and remember why I can't tell her or to be honest anyone about this whole thing. Imagine if it got out to the press, no, I can't do that to Jungkook it's not fair. I text Y/F/N back, ' Okay calm down woman!!! Yeah he just messaged me the other day and said to go to the gig at 3pm and I did and it was for a VIP thing or backstage pass hung to go on a tour thing, got to say hi to all the guys again and the gig was cool it was amazing and the guys were amazing as always and then I came home and feel asleep, thank god it's Saturday I need a rest! Talk to you Monday?' I send it and then wonder if I'm being a bit too stand off-ish but can't find it within myself to bother.

After eating some breakfast and showering and feeling much better about everything I find myself staring at the TV but not actually taking it in, picking up my phone and scrolling through twitter I still see no private messages from Jungkook and surprisingly no drama from anything at the gig, still no mention of anything like Jungkook staring at a girl or, nothing really. Thank the lord! I fish in my handbag and take out my purse pulling out the piece of folded paper up from Jungkook and re-read it numerous times and look at his writing, running my fingers over it delicately, imagining him scribbling down the note and his number at some point before that vip thing yesterday and I think about how all the time he was talking to me and the other guys, messing around and joking, that he had that paper in his pocket; running my hands roughly through my hair I try and process it all, but all I keep getting is, 'why is he doing this?' I shake my head hoping to shake away the thoughts but it doesn't work. I open my text messages and click his name in my phone, what do I even write? I mean he literally asked me to text him, but what about? I know obviously when I do send him a message he has my number, this is another thing that for some reason is freaking me out! Eventually after thirty minutes of wrecking my brain I simply type: 'Hi, you said to text you, sooooo, I've text you' before I can think anymore about it I press send, but then as I re-read it I wonder wether I should've said how good the gig was, no, maybe not, what if someone else sees his phone or? I can't even think straight, I find myself pacing my apartment, not knowing what to do, but I only find myself pacing around for twenty minutes before I get a text.