𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒 𝕂ℙ𝕆ℙ 𝕚𝕕𝕠𝕝(~Jungkook x Reader)

I'll go then

"No, stop.. I..." I mumble as I back away from him further, but he tries to come close again and my heart is aching so bad, a game of push and pull again. I want him so much, I want all of this to be real, so very real. I want to hug him, touch him, and kiss him and I want him to want me, but realistically, it's impossible. "No what? What's wrong" he says so calmly and quiet and he doesn't move an inch and it only makes me want him even more. "This.. this... it can't, I can't" whoever thought getting a fangirl dream come true would end up like this?

"Y/N, tell me what's wrong" Jungkook says holding me steady, hand on my arm and gently stopping me from backing away, until I look up at him; "this won't work Jungkook, what even is this? You're an idol, I'm a what, a fangirl, a boring, normal every day person, I'm nothing, I'm just nothing. We come from totally different worlds, our worlds aren't designed to merge" I say sadly avoiding his eye contact until here he is again lifting my jaw with his big hand and long fingers that are so delicate I want to melt, "don't say that, you're not boring. Our worlds aren't that different you know?" The way he says it makes me want to believe him but I know I can't. I let out a small sarcastic giggle annoyed at the situation but then hate myself.

"You're leaving tomorrow aren't you?" I say quietly not quietly wanting to not know the answer. I feel his hand drop off my arm and his other hand leaves my jaw; "Y/N, do you like talking to me? Or.. if I make you uncomfortable I can leave" my stomach does a horrible flip and I hate it. "Of course.. of course I like talking to you, but this it can't work Jungkook.." I swallow and take a deep breath waiting for him to leave but he doesn't.

"Ok, wait.. look, I've got this new game on my phone, you want me to show you how to play it?" He asks reaching into his back pocket pulling out his phone; when I look up at him I fall deeper than ever before. I smile shyly at him, "thank you"

"Thank you for what?" He questions looking a little confused with wide eyes, "come on, let's go sit, I need to show you this game" he smiles beautifully and I still don't know how any of this is even real.

~ ~ ~ ~

"Quick! You're not reacting quick enough, come on!!" Jungkook laughs as he hits my arm playfully while I'm tipping his phone up and down in my hands playing whatever game it was that he wanted to show me, I don't particularly know how long has passed since we sat down and started messing around with the game on his phone, but as I see 'GAME OVER' flicker up on screen at me I put his phone down in my lap and turn to look at him. "Jungkook?" I see him watch me and then he hummed to let me know he's listening and I should carry on; "why are you here, with me, why aren't all you guys together drinking or?" I ask him genuinely wondering why on Earth this guy, this amazing guy is spending his last night in a foreign country with a random fan who he's known for like a week.

"Do you wanna get rid of me?" He giggles, sitting up a little on the sofa; "we don't really do a party on a night before we fly, we kinda do whatever we want. Relax, or chill out. Jin's doing a live soon I think, you wanna watch that?" He says it with a stupid smile and I hit him playfully, "yeah yeah I'll watch Jin then" the smile I give him is one of the most sarcastic I can muster. He snatches his phone from my lap and stands from the sofa, "I'll go then, I'll not stay where I'm not wanted" before he has a chance to move I find myself pulling him back playfully, dragging him back onto the sofa until he topples down onto me. We're both laughing and giggling and then I notice how close he is to my face and his eyes are sparkling and he looks beautiful. As always.

I don't know what happens next in the millisecond before it happens but, we're kissing. And he's so gentle and slow and it's so sweet I could just sit and melt. I feel his soft lips crashing against mine slow and steady but sure of what he's doing and I'm just about to freak out again when I feel him run his hand up the bottom of my jaw, and his fingers dance on my skin and I relax. How could I ever want this to stop.

How could anyone who's been a fan of anybody and then kiss that somebody ever, ever want it to stop?

We're lost in each other and getting breathless, we both slowly pull away slightly from each other to catch our breath and god, when he's not kissing me I suddenly feel like the shyest person in the world. I can't tell if I feel embarrassed for allowing it to happen when nearly an hour ago I'd been telling him it won't work, that it can't happen.

But it is happening.

Something is happening. This is something.

Every time I think I can do without all this, I just prove to myself that he wins every time.

Dream. Come. True.

"Y/N... I don't know where this is going, or what it is, or, I don't know anything but.. I know that I like you, I know if you gave me a chance instead of trying to push me away, it can work, if you want it too" he breathes like it's taken all his effort to say it, I see him glaring at me waiting for me to say something but my heart is in my mouth and my brain feels like it's so overwhelmed that it's shut off; "Y/N?" He whispers to me and pats the top of my hand trying to drag me out of my trance.

"How, how is this.. I.." I fall over my words not having a clue what to say or what to do. I mean, I want to grab hold of him and never let him go, tell him it's everything I've ever dreamed of and that I don't have a clue how it's real. I want him to want me like really want me but really?

"No one knows, no one needs to know anything if that's what frightens you" is all he says as I look up at him with questioning eyes; the things I want to say to him but I can't.

"Jimin knows" is all I can muster, but it's true, Jimin does know. He caught us too close in the backstage corridor only a few hours ago. "Jimin knowing is like no one knowing, trust me. Jimin would never tell anyone if you don't want to, if we don't want to" I look up at him again and is he trying to kill me, 'we' what is that?

"If I want to? No, you can't Jungkook. I can't let all this happen. It'll ruin your career! Imagine if people find out, Imagine if.." I stop and just don't bother finishing my sentence, I feel worn out emotionally, mentally; I know my heart is screaming at me telling me to keep him, to keep this whatever it is.

My brain on the other hand, is trying to be reasonable, be real.

"No one will know. I leave tomorrow, we won't even be near each other for ages, how will anyone know? I can tell you feel the same as me, I know." Jungkook murmurs and then his gaze flickers away like he's gotten shy. "Jungkook.." I say as I put my hand over his, "I.. I'm not supposed to sit here and tell you that I want this more than anything, and this, this shouldn't happen because I'm a fan, was a fan, am a, doesn't matter, but I'm not from your life style, your world, but... I do, I want to know you" I say it so quietly I'm not sure if he's even heard but then he's pulling me in and embracing me. I'm trapped in his arms, he's hugging me so close and he's warm and safe and I want to stay there forever.

Forever in this little dream come true.

"This is for us, for us to know. That's why.. it's why I didn't tell Jin, last night when... sorry" he says losing his words. "I get it, Jungkook I get it. When no one knows, I get it" I smile and he just smiles back.

"You want another go at this game" he says as he turns the phone over in his hand glaring at me with a sort of challenging look; "why? Was I too good for you before, do you want me to have another go so I'm rubbish and I'll lose badly and then you can win amazingly" I giggle and he just shuffles closer.

His thighs are pressing on mine and his shoulders are leaning on me, as he watches me play the game, he's so close and he's so warm and it's the best feeling I've felt in ages.

"Woooh!! Wait, you'll never be a pro if you don't learn from the mistakes, go back, go back" he laughs getting worked up over how I'm playing the game.

He makes me laugh so much.