Stars | completed

29. His Way

name: His Way
word count: 3600 words
published on: 24th September, 2019

✿ ✿ ✿

M A N I K

Distracted, I looked up from the files I was reading as I found my head lurking behind to what happened outside.

She was right there.

I could have just stretched my hand and stopped that elevator, my long fingers touching the skin of her arm, erasing the worry in her head that rested as creases on her forehead when her eyes met mine. She said nothing, but whispered my name, and yet, I felt like she said a lot, like her eyes conveyed what she wasn't being able to, and for once, just once, I really wanted to stand there, listen to what she had to say.

For once, I wanted to hold her in my arms again and listen to her voice one more time, let that mesmerising voice feed me with sweet lies; and for once, I wanted to close my eyes, trust her again and believe everything she would have to say to me.

But I couldn't.

Those feelings, the overwhelming, it had to end just as soon as it started.

I had to take myself over to the day when it all ended, when she left, her last words, her goodbye, and how she tossed everything away like nothing ever meant anything to her.

I loved her.

Even if for that short moment of time we had, those some days, I loved her with all my heart.

And you know what can be more intense than a lover's love?

A lover's hatred.

And I had to remind myself that I hated her. I hated her because she left. I hated her because she promised not to. And she still left anyway.

My eyes often flickered to her cabin, where she sat on her chair, looking into some files and reading them while noting something and typing them onto a laptop. I don't think she knew that the mirrors in her cabin were one-sided and I could see right through to her.

I could see the way her eyes were lost when she entered inside, as if contemplating to come to my cabin or not, but how they twinkled when she found a bouquet of red roses lying on the desk beside the heaps of files, perhaps a welcoming note attached to it and how she swayed the flower's under her nose before giving a big grin and wrapping her arms around my brother's neck, thanking him and then talking to him a while longer before getting back to work. I could see the way she smiled even after he left, rereading the note attached to it, her lips pursed together as if thinking something to herself before nodding and keeping it aside and then going on with work again.

They might've known each other for years, and he doesn't even know that she hates roses. Daisies are her favourite flowers.

She tried to drown herself in her work but every now and then, she used to keep looking up and glance towards the wall of my cabin, making me conscious of her gaze although I very well knew she couldn't see this side. For her, it was just a plain, ordinary wall that she shared with my cabin.