Stars | completed

44. Whatever It Takes

N A N D I N I

"Rough night?"

My eyes flickered from the instant-coffee machine to the lady at the hospital's reception only for a second, and I wondered what gave it away– if it was the messy hair, raspy voice, tired eyes or the bags underneath it.

Drawing a small smile on my face nonetheless, I nod. "That's quite an understatement."

"You have family in here?" She asked and I almost felt like laughing. Little did she know, I had no family left.

"Friends," I correct her.

"Hope they get well soon," her gaze fell onto the now-full cup in my hand and I wondered if she noticed from the colour of my dark coffee how it contains no sugar. I have never been very fond of coffee anyway, but you gotta do what have to do to keep awake, even if it meant drinking something as bitter as what I hold in my hands now.

"I hope they get well soon too." I mutter, returning her smile as a quick, polite gesture, before walking away.

I was in a complete different country altogether, but the hospital still gave me an eerie vibe. I couldn't look at the reception or the rooms around me without feeling an odd suffocation. I don't know if it was because of the sleepiness, but everytime that I shut my eyes, even if only for a mere minute, I could picture Amms on her death bed. And worst, sometimes I was brought back to Abhi and his last words to me.

Desperate to take some fresh air, I walk out of the hospital. Despite spending an hour lurking around while Manik inquired the status from the doctors, the sky overhead was still dark. We were an hour away from sunrise, and yet, the clouds covered the sky like thick smoke, leaving no space for stars, unlike the beautiful evening it had been.

The rain had stopped, although it still thundered and occasionally, lightning danced across the void, making me flinch. It was still drizzling, but I hardly cared about getting drenched in the water as I leaned back on my boyfriend's car, holding the hot cup of coffee secure between both my palms. It almost caused a burning sensation through my skin, but I didn't mind. It seemed the physical pain was the only thing keeping me sane. All the emotional pain didn't really matter anymore. I felt empty from the inside.

I kept staring up at the sky, without blinking. Everytime my eyes filled with water and the tears threatened to fall, I pushed them away, as if it was a small game I had created since the past some time to see how long I can last without the overwhelming feeling of breaking down right where I was standing.

So far, I was doing good.

"They're fine," I heard Manik's voice, making me snap out of my reverie.

I turn my head towards my right, and from the corner of my eyes, watch him walk in my direction, and then lean on the car beside me.

"They're fine," he repeats, and I wondered whom he was trying to reassure- me or himself.

"Then why won't they dispatch them? Or atleast let us see them?" It wasn't until I had spoken out loud that I realised how miserably tired and desperate I sounded.

There was panic in my voice. Hell, there was panic in my veins.

"It's a rule," he sighs, rubbing his palms on his face, "The doctors have to be sure they are okay before letting them go. None of them were injured except for some basic bruises. It was a landslide because of the rains. There were quite a lot of casualties, but they got lucky."